Express

FAQ
Q: How is the selection here?
A: It’s just men’s stuff. Sure, sure. You could go to the 3^rd Street Promenade but get only half the store devoted to guys stuff. But it’s probably a good idea to hit up both ’cause selection seems to vary from store to store. What a hassle. Just make one big store. Thank god they’re shutting this mall down.
Q: Is there a knowledgeable staff there?
A: Well … Most of the time. But let me relate a story:
JOEY: Hey, I need pants for a cocktail party to go with this here jacket [shows light pinstripe jacket].
STAFF: What kind of pants you looking for?
J: Well, I just can’t wear jeans.
S: Okay, hm. How about these?
J: Uh, the color doesn’t match. Like, at all.
S: Oh. Hm. Maybe something like this?
J: That’s too light.
S: Y’know, you could just wear jeans. Like a nice pair of dark jeans.
J: Y’know, I really can’t.
S: Well, it’s LA. Everyone does it.
J: I know. But I’d rather not. A nice pair of pants would be fantastic.
S: No, really! It’s okay if you do.
J: Listen, I just can’t.
S: Really?
J: It’s, uh, the rules.
S: That’s weird.
Q: That’s sounds like a hassle!
A: I mean, really, I was going to a wedding by the beach and I didn’t want to deal with telling this big story about the wedding and shit like that. But, inevitably, I created myself a hassle for trying to avoid hassle. What a hassle!
FYI … What a godforsaken location. But it’s quiet in there. Unless it’s the holidays. Then it’s just a hassle. Holidays are a hassle.