Slow Bar

I dream of Slow Bar’s curry chicken salad sammich. I dream of slow bars dimly lit bar and high red cushioned semi-​circular booths. I dream of the heavy metal music playing while sipping on their stiff drinks. I dream of the great prices and the laid back service. I dream of returning to Portland one day to step foot into slow bar once again.

Slow Bar = favorite bar food in Portland! The Draper chicken sandwich keeps me coming back & the southern fry, fries & green salad aren’t bad, either.
Increasingly busy spot with several wraparound booths perfect for a group or cozying up to a friend. Cinema gems such as ‘The Lair of the White Worm’ play silently on the TV to a delightful & ever-​present soundtrack of metal.

Really tasty juicy flavorful burger! Too dark and music was too loud. Wish we were there in time to enjoy happy hour which is 3−6p and midnight to close daily. Guys there were sadly representative of Portland; overweight, unshaven and sloppy looking.

This bar is fantastic. As soon as I walked in, «Anesthesia/​Pulling Teeth» (Cliff Burton’s classic bass solo from Kill ‘Em All) started playing. Okay, I played it. The meandering, neo-​classical lines of the opening sequence were soul-​stirring. As the bass solo developed, some Wagnerian themes emerged, transcendent and angular. The growling, plaintive tone of Cliff’s Rickenbacker sounded like a wounded lioness protecting her last living cub. As the piece developed, a tension wound in my gut. Fernets were requested and delivered with alacrity. A swell of reverberation rang out. Then Lars’s drums kicked in and Cliff started wailing on that bass so hard it sounded like ten Marshal stacks were about to explode. The whole bar trembled with the lost soul of a young metal God. The burger was good.

Food is above average, drinks are stiff and taps are solid. Music is mostly metal/​punk and the lighting is low. Typically all this usually adds up to divey and a low rating on the cleanliness, but not here. Bathrooms are usually my bellwether for eating at a place… the skankier the bathroom, the less I am inclined to eat there or drink out of anything but a bottle of beer. I am glad to report that the men’s room is always clean and well stocked.

I’ve only had the Slowburger, but it is really good. Possibly my favorite burger in town. They can always pull off a nice medium rare, which more than a lot of burger places around town.
I get fries with melted, stinky cheese on the side.
Gone in 5 minutes.
Parking is easy. But the area is sketchy. At least at midnight, which is usually when we go.

If I could only eat one thing for the rest of my life, it would have to be the irresistible burger! I have mentally kept up with my top 5 burgers of all time for the better part of two decades! As good as Slow Bar is, they don’t crack my top 5… but they would be in my top 10. They would also get points for consistency because I’ve eaten here four times and have had the exact same opinion each time. Some of my top 5 were one time experiences (like crispy fried onion & beef patties shoved into a French baguette with mustard & raw onions in a shitty little dive on the banks of the Mekong River in Ho Chi Minh city… an American GI taught her how to make it. I hope to make it back there one day to gather more data, but as for now it was just a one hit wonder.) First off, the burger is huge… Yes there is the giant pillowy bun, which I found a little stale on this visit… however with it being a Monday they were probably just blowing out their weekend stock, I get it… I’ve worked in the food industry for years. Then there were the onion rings, two beautifully, golden fried rings… one of which you have to eat immediately because you couldn’t bite into your burger once the lid is on. One bite however will have you wanting a basket of these beauties! Then the third element to this wondrous burger is the meat… Local, All Natural, Painted Hills… and HAND FORMED… these little monsters are thick and juicy and spiced just enough to let the flavor of beef shine through. You will never see me backing a fru-​fru burger and unfortunately this town has too many highly rated burgers with a side of fru… but the slow burger is one burger that works hard for you and it will never leave you with regrets or a need for more. The Slow Bar, though not in my top 5, does have my #2 with regards to PDX! Their fries on the other hand are conceivably my #1…but since fries are my #2 weakness, that review will have to wait for another day.

One of the most difficult things about living in Portland is making a decision on where to go once you have decided what to eat. I am not complaining as it is fantastic to live in a town with so many choices of great food. When you think that you have the best of what you like sorted in your head, along comes another restaurant with new tastes and textures to make you reevaluate your already shaky list of the best.
That being said, in comes Slow Burger, another truly great burger that similar to the others yet totally different. The Slow Burger is a ½ (!) pound patty of beef perfectly cooked to medium on one of the best buns in the city. These soft pillowy buns paired with Gruyère, onion rings, relish and aioli combine to make another fabulous Portland burger.
Their fries are great also. Either go with the regular hand cut fries or go all out and get the Stinky Cheese Fries. Stinky Fries are the normal hand cut fries covered in mix of Fontina and Raclette cheese. While I didn’t find them stinky I did find them delicious.
Solid burger, one of the best in the city (I never get tired of saying that) and great Stinky Fries. I will be back, lucky for me I work just across the street.
Great job guys.

This is one of my favorite places to get a damned good burger. It’s cooked perfectly and doesn’t lack in flavor. The herbed salad dressing is fantastic! Don’t pass on their Slow Bar burger or any of their seasonal burgers… creative combinations of ingredients and has yet to disappoint. The fries with stinky cheese are a decadent splurge and delicious. Get them!
The dark ambiance really makes it feel cozy enough for a date but also fun enough for a group. The service might be slammed at times but it always comes with a smile (definitely something I notice immediately). Good music too!

MY FAVORITE FRIED CHICKEN IN ALL OF PORTLAND! AND I ORDER IT EVERYWHERE… The fried chicken and hush puppies plate (Southern Fry) is truly special. We will be visiting again this weekend and I can’t wait to go.
I also love the dark atmosphere of Slow Bar and the red mood lighting. Red lighting makes everyone and everything look more appetizing. It’s science. That feature also makes Slow Bar the perfect first date meeting place, along with the good drinks and shareable dinner plates.
I love You Slow Bar!

Slow Bar is great. Burgers are awesome, drinks are strong and everything is affordable. Ambiance is moody, has a dive bar feel but less scrappy like some of the neighboring bars. Is a great place for late night food, service is excellent and always some wonky, entertaining film on the TV.

So I’ve never been happier than to have eaten here and gotten leftovers which I basically stuffed my face with the entire rest of my night that I spent drinking at bars in the area.
Okay so, came here on the recommendation that I should try the slow burger. To be honest? It wasn’t like mindblowingly great. I’d probably eat it again if I was super hungry, sure.
Drinks? Strong strong strong. My friend got white limes and it’s tasty. Aka sweet and a mix of a ton of alcohol so you’ll be guaranteed at least a good buzz by the end of it. I got the pomegranate margarita (forgot the name). It was tart and I loved it — definitely an acquired taste.
Service was hilarious and a bit slow so I had to go up to the bar to pay. Granted we were sitting outside (which eh, I wouldn’t really recommend if you aren’t really in a large group because service is slower and area gets dicier as it gets darker).
Anyways, a good time and I’d recommend!

Slow Bar is probably one of my favorite places in Portland.
First off, the service is great! Super friendly, and patient with a bunch of drunk people (like us… at 4 o’clock in the afternoon. Don’t judge!).
Second off, I love the ambiance. It’s a bar, but has room-​y booths for big groups. Also has a great jukebox.
Lastly, the food and drinks. Oh, the food and drinks! I get the Slow Burger, which to me is one of the best burgers I’ve ever had. Order your fries with the «stinky» cheese!
We also ordered the Southern Fry for the table and it was gone in seconds.
And they pour nice stiff drinks.
Thanks, Slow Bar for being awesome!

Kahuna Burger has NOTHING on Slow Bar’s
«Now THAT was a tasty burger «
Really, what’s not to love about this Portland
Landmark.
*Vibe, outdoor seating, cool employees
*Music at a loud volume or should I say
Good loud music. Today I really didn’t want
to leave because it was on a Rockabilly playlist
or something and I love classic Rockabilly
such as, Carl Perkins, Gene Vincent, The Blasters
and Cliff Richard and the Shadows. just to
Name a few… so ya I was lovin it… LOL
*Service was attentive and were really hustling.
Especially (Mikey)
*Cocktails and a hand picked selection of beer
the bartender was knocking um out too.
*The Burger was surprisingly good!
It had a cool slaw inside
kinda like a South Carolina pulled pork sandwich
would have, It had a very well balanced wasabi
mayo spread. It not only had a wonderful flavor
but also had a great mouth feel, savory with the
crunch from the slaw… Damn Right Amazing.
GET THIS.
Oh ya I will return… like tomorrow and the day after that.

Probably the only bar/​pub in downtown PDX that doesn’t apologize for serving meat and has deer antlers hanging on the wall right next to an American flag collage celebrating handgun shooting. Add to that being able to enjoy food that is better than it has any right to be while listening to Dale Watson on the jukebox and I just found heaven.
Serially, my hand made Summer burger came with an heirloom tomato and the salad had candied nuts. My GF ordered fondue which included sausage and fresh fruit.
I fucking love this place.

Awesome, awesome, awesome! This is not the Ritz… it is better except for the music.
Service: Fantastic… service with a smile.
Drinks: They pour a mean scotch and a very generous glass of wine.
Atmosphere: This is not a dive bar. Comfortable seating, nice lighting and a warm vibe.
Food: Killer food. The fondue was wonderful but not near as wonderful as the special. The pastrami sandwich with red onion and mayo is a thing of dreams. This may be the best sandwich I have ever eaten.
Price: Given the quality; it is a bargain.
Finally the music. They have a wonderful old juke box but the selection is all Alice Cooper type music. Now I am actually from the era when most of the music was released. I am like I suspect most of my generation am not that anxious to have it basting my ears again. I already went deaf in college. Give me some choice… something a bit softer; thank you!

Went back for a second visit (don’t get to that neighborhood much) and found they’ve updated their menu. On the one hand, I was planning on a burger but the burger was just a little too zesty for lack of a better term than I wanted but it was good for my friend — it had pickled vegetables and cilantro, jalapenos, and sriracha mayo. Except for the pickled things, I like all those items, I just don’t really want them on my burger. The funny thing is that even though my friend liked his burger, he had the same thing with my original review — soggy lower bun. I really wish restaurants would get over this whole brioche bun thing. They aren’t suitable for substantial hamburgers.
I had the pizzetta with sausage, bacon and peppers. On my first visit, this was what my friend had and it looked good so I was happy with the choice. It was quite good, the only thing I would change would be to remove the bacon but that’s just me. I love bacon but I don’t like that mushy or chewy quality it gets when it’s not perfectly crispy and then it just becomes a chewy, smokey piece of meat. It’s just not my thing. Other than that, I really enjoyed the pizzetta. I had plenty for myself and enough to share with my friend as the portion is well-​sized. The crust was nice and crunchy which gave it extra bonus stars in my book.
The bartender was the girl of my dreams that night. All my drinks were spot on and the waitress was fabulous too. We got great, timely, friendly service.
The music playing was a (rather insipid) 80’s pandora thing (and I’m a new wave, post-​punk, punk fan) and I deeply regret my habit to not carry cash as I wanted to fill the jukebox. They changed it over to the punk channel for me (yay!) but another customer didn’t like that and put heavy metal on the jukebox (boo!).
Everything was clean and tidy as I’d previously experienced.
This is a great place to go before going to the new Revolution Hall venue down the street. It’s the perfect walking distance and you get a good venue and good food and drinks and service.

It is so rare that service is the first thing I mention in a review. I suspect this is because getting service so good that it’s worth mentioning is equally as rare. But last night at Slow Bar, I got just that kind of service from our waitress, Linda. She was off-​the-​hook awesome in taking care of us. How awesome?
We walked in right at the point when most establishments are rushing to pull the Happy Hour menus from the tables – one minute left on the HH clock type thing. Linda wasn’t having it. Unprovoked, she encouraged us to take our time and make use of the HH menu. We did. And I had a complicated drink and food order (no this, extra this, add this – total jerkface order on my part). She nailed it. And she nailed it without making me feel like a d-​bag for being so picky.
I had a vodka drink that was poured with a slow hand, just about perfect. And right around $ 3 thanks to the HH discount. Coupled that with a pizzetta ($ 5.50 during HH) and a chicken sandwich ($ 9.50 menu price).
Both were delicious and I’d recommend ordering either, but I am going to call out the sammie as my favorite bite of the night. Too often chicken comes out as a dry little puck. This sucker was juicy and flavorful and damn good. I opted for the salad over fries and don’t regret it a bit (crazy, right?!). The pesto vinaigrette was super balanced and went well with the spiced nuts they sprinkle on (oh so yum).
Slow Bar provided a superb pre-​show (check out Miracle Theatre right around the corner) experience for us. And I only have one complaint. A small one, really, but nevertheless important. The toilet paper in the ladies room? Ya, it was hung wrong. *gasp* I know, I know. Strong opinions on the subject. But let’s just agree I’m right here, okay?

After waiting so long to get here and try the Slow Burger, I was disappointed in one of Portland’s top rated burgers.
The burger it self wasn’t bad in flavor but put together sloppy. The fries were limp and not hot. The Southern Fry was worse with over cooked chicken and hush puppies. The chicken was seriously dry. The honey couldn’t even help the puppies.
Together with spotty service in the beginning with a server that seemed to be somewhere else but ended up better with Cecily in the end.
All in all no need to come back here.

This was our first stop in Portland. We weren’t expecting much, but were pleasantly surprised when we found out it was late happy hour (sun — thurs 12 am to 2:30 am).
Now, for a late weeknight, they were understaffed. Granted, they probably weren’t expecting a group of 8 to show up. But our bartender/​waitress was very friendly and chatty. I’m pretty sure it was just her and the cook running the whole show. So the service was ironically slow at Slow Bar, but we were forewarned and apologized to numerous times throughout the night.
It’s essentially a dive bar with gastropub food. It is dark inside with booths/​tables for groups and then seating at the bar. I could see how the place could easily fill up as it is not too big of a space. Music played over the speakers kept the noise level up.
The food:
–Pizzetta with spinach, garlic, tomatoes, and olives. Man this was a full man-​sized pizza for the happy hour price of $ 5.50 – what a deal! The pizza was thin crust and good.
–Stinky cheese fries. Cheese fries are pretty much the ultimate pub food. Really can’t go wrong.
–Southern Fry: Buttermilk fried chicken with a side of hushpuppies. A well cooked and hearty dish. Dip the hushpuppies in the honey butter for maximum effect.
–Slowburger. Someone in the group ordered the burger that I’m sure I had a bite of. This was one of those ‘how do I even begin to eat this’ type burgers. It’s topped with onion rings and has cheese oozing from the sides.
I had a moscow mule and their drink list had a few choices I would be interested in. My mule was a great nightcap after just being on a plane. They also have a pretty decent tap list. Slow bar is a great spot for a bite to eat or a drink, especially if you can catch happy hour!