La Merde

The best Shirley Temple I’ve ever had… and that’s saying something. This wasn’t your run of the mill grenadine. It was made from something else entirely. I even got 2…2! cherries! They were rich sweet and crisp, pitted, and reminded me of plums. Really good.

Love the tasty cocktails and board games in this place. They serve the bistro montage menu in the bar without any waiting for a table. The service is what I’ve come to expect from the montage, you order your drinks at the bar, they come to your table for food. Try the gumbo or the spold mac both are worth the trip!

Awesome little bar. Love the funky art on the walls. Love that they have board games to play. They actually make fresh juice. You can order from montage and eat it here. The bartenders are nice and helpful if you have a question. There’s alot of seating. It’s not divey. Just all around a chill place to bring a fee friends to pre funk or catch up.

An intimate-​sized dark room with friendly barkeeps and full access to the Montage menu: I really enjoyed this bar.

La Merde really is la merde!
We came here to kill some time, and were very pleasantly surprised. It was happy hour, and we ended up ordering crawfish hushpuppies and Spold (spicy + old-​fashioned) macaroni and cheese. It was epic for bar food.
The bartender was nice and attentive, the food was cheap and delicious (during happy hour), and the cocktails were particularly creative for a dive bar. What else could you want?
Try the Kentucky Waterfall if you like fresh ginger.

Love their delicious cocktails with fun names! Not a fan of how damn cold it is in there (although in the summer when we have one month of semi-​warm weather, I bet it’s awesome!). Dig the dark setting with candles all around and funky art on the walls.
Tip: there is no table service. And they don’t tell you that. We watched a table of four seated directly next to the bar, by the front door, sit there for over 20 minutes before they figured out they had to go up to the bar and order. Why didn’t I say anything to them? Oh because I don’t work there. Servers: it takes you 5 extra seconds to say, «order from the bar» when you greet them as they come in. Don’t be a jerk!

This is the bar attached to Le Bistro Montage. The bar top is solid copper and the place is a classy dive joint. A couple of good beers on tap and fun cocktails to sip on. A great place to catch a drink while waiting for your table at Montage, or to escape from hoodlums chasing you down under the bridges…

Easier to have bite here on Fri then wait amidst the chaos of Montage.

This place enjoy it’s success from being near downtown, but on the East side, where parking is more accessible and not metered. It’s also connected to Montage restaurant where you can order food from there.
Since this place is quite popular, It’s probably best for you not to bring a large group from your office here for last minute happy hour.

Came for some drinks while waiting for dinner at Montage next door. Great selection of cocktails and beer. Low prices and they have happy hour (not sure the time).
This spot has a chill vibe and free board and games.

La Merde is well, La Merde.
The drink list easily made me very indecisive as everything sounded really amazing. I ended up going with two stinky kitty’s and they did not disappoint.
La Merde has great atmosphere and strong pours.

I always enjoy myself at La Merde. The cocktails are consistently delicious. I have been here for happy hour a few times and never disappointed. I like to get the Spold macaroni (it’s especially good with spam!).
Get there early and hunker down, it’s always a delight.

The food is not amazing but it’s good enough for happy hour bar food, the bartenders are usually standoffish but prompt with service and bill paying, the games area always missing numerous pieces, and the tables are sometimes sticky.
But half price bottles of a large selection of wines until midnight Monday and Tuesday? That’s all you had to say.

I’d love to love this place, but my experience has been Portlandish… that is sleepy, lethargic, and apathetic. All the things from the custom drink menu that I’ve tried are quite good. I understand a wait for drinks now and then, but literally 45 minutes to order, when it’s busy, but not swarmed, is ridiculous. Masters of evasion, ignorance, and milking the clock maybe?
Again, I’d love to love this place, but haven’t had the experience to back a better review.

This place is the shit. Quirky draft selection. The space is great for 5pm on a Sunday.

Nothing worse than a pompous assed bartender except one who completely ignores you sitting there 2 feet from him while he flirts with someone at the bar. Yeah, if you, Mr. Bartender, are reading this, you probably know I am talking about YOU!
Would have been a 2 star but towards the end of our hour having a drink before going in for dinner, a very friendly female bartender chatted us up and served us drinks, replacing the big does of attitude with a nice helping of friendliness.
This is one of those times when I scratched my head and wondered why managers or owners of any customer service industry hires the losers like the guy at the bar that we first encountered. Plenty of friendly experienced servers would leap at the chance for a job.

The food is decent, but the condesending bartender left a lot to be desired. I know Montage (restaurant attached) is known for that in a sort of «funny» way, but this was beyond that. We were putting him out for what we asked, he basically threw our dishes of food… from what I could tell, probably because there were a couple of girls at the bar.
In this economy, it is really unacceptable and not in any service industry’s best interest to not pour on a little even EXTRA customer service. Not cool.

On a Saturday night, Le Merde feels more like a Greyhound station than a bar: standing crowds, musical-​chair jockeying for seats, and name-​calling from Montage next door: «Bob? Your table’s ready.» The lucky party of two or seven moves on, and in comes another group.
This is too bad, because La Merde’s a cozy, dimly-​lit space with a patterned tin ceiling and arcade-​game tables, offering board games and children’s bibles, with first-​wave punk (last night, it was the Slits) on the speakers. Perfect place for slouching into your seat with a first-​rate cocktail in hand and a plate of hush puppies in front of you.
I’ll definitely be back, but on a quieter weeknight.

Hearing «La Merde» makes me wonder why «the shit» is a feminine noun en francais. Typical. French. Just give us ladies all the gnarly words, right? You know, I think we have a shared English/​French word for those types… une douche.
Au contraire, when this bar is piled on with the totally rockin feminine forces of power that be the bartendress Melissa and trivia’s very own Shanrock, all of these gosh darned gendered nouns are suddenly starting to make tons of sense. (Of course, thanks to the great olé USA for taking doots and remaking it positive!)
If you haven’t been to Shanrock’s trivia, this particular one, run by the Shan herself every Thursday at 9:00pm, is definitely «la merde.»
So get yourself un biere ou deux and turn your noodle on. Don’t you want to be part of the crème de la crème?

$ 2.50 beer– I’ll take it. I’m new to the area and unfamiliar with the beer, Ranier (which sounds like it must have roots up here in the Pacific NW). I asked the bartender about it, she kinda sneered and said she would recommend a Session lager over it, any day. They are both the same wonderful price of $ 2.50, so that’s what I got.
Session comes in a stubby little bottle, much like Red Stripe, and turned out to be a good, but not overwhelmingly so, beer. I paired this with the gator bites, for a nice late night snack. I was coming here for trivia, and knew nothing of the menu, but am always happy to see a variety of cajun plates available!
As for trivia, this was an «ok» spot. I like the trivia dj, Shannon, of Shanrock Trivia. But it was a loud venue, and it was sometimes hard to hear her. I might try a trivia elsewhere, but this one has the coolest bragging rights, a t-​shirt for the winners: «I was the shit, at trivia night!»
I want that shirt!