Rocket Joe’s

hmmmmmmmmmmmm get that late night food i guess. Nooooo!

oh rocket joe’s. what in the name of fuck did you do to us. We are currently receiving last rights from a priest, a rabbi, a mortician, and another voice who I can only hope belongs to god himself. Why is this place called Rocket Joe’s. I understand that it is a zesty name, one can only assume that before rocket joe’s pizza, the pizza game of NYC was boring and didn’t quite evoke the same flavor and danger of a man called Joe piloting a space shuttle of bad italian food straight into the bowels of both body and soul. Rocket joe’s is bad when both being ingested and actually worse when being expelled back to the fiery bottomless pit from whence it came. If you can avoid rocket joes then do it. If you cannot then avoid it all the same because rocket joes should be eaten under two circumstances. 1. when starving to legitimate death and 2. NEVER. If you are looking for italian food you’ve come to the wrong place. Furthermore if you are looking for any kind of food at all you are still in the wrong place. Rocket Joe’s ruins lives, kills careers, and stains bedsheets.
P. S. One slice of pizza is dense enough to stop a fucking mugging.
P. S.S. They forgot my fucking lemonade.

Not much to say about this place. Small pizzeria.
I got a large pie, half Italian and half margherita
Both flavor were delicious. And the pizza was freshly made. Including the dough. And they put sesame seeds on the crust, which was a nice touch. The crust was not too thick and not too thin, just right. And they put lots of cheese on it
I also tried the mozzarella sticks and the chicken tenders here. Both were just all right
Overall, a stable place to come and grab some pizza when you are in the area

The guys who work here are short on words, but they’ll cook your pizza perfectly. The BBQ slice is entirely too sweet, but they put sesame seeds in the crust, so I can’t stay mad. Not incredibly expensive either (most slices ran $ 2.50 to $ 3.50).

Why the hell is this place called Rocket Joe’s? It’s a pizza joint. Not that it matters to me. On to the pizza…
Flavorless. Bland. Blah. The texture is amazing tho. Only wish it had flavor. The beef patty was ok, but nothing special. The bbq chicken pizza was good, only because of the toppings and bbq (they put plently of toppings). Slice is $ 2 which is about the only good thing. The $ 1 pizza down the street is seriously better. No exaggeration.

Since Ciao Bella closed, I need to come here if I’m too lazy to go anywhere else for my pizza fix. Their taco pizza is quite yummy — if they heat it up enough. But alas, in the city that is short on time, they never warm it up enough (to where the cheddar is melty at least) to where this pizza could be fantastic for me. But since it still is good, I still get it. Also, $ 1 for a chicken finger is awesome. I love being able to pick as many chicken fingers I want, without the chicken finger roulette shutting me down (you know, when you order chicken fingers at a place you never know if you’re going to get the flat breaded chicken fingers or the cylindrical rugged breaded ones — the cylindrical ones are the GOOD ones — and if they’re going to give you 3,4,5, or 6 tenders for a price) — this place you can get 6 of the good cylindrical tenders for $ 6 — a great deal to me.
Sorry if that last half of review was long and run-​on — I was just really excited about the tenders hahahaha.