Happy’s Stork Lounge and Liquor

fox is the worst employee you could ever have working for you…
1, drinks seem to always be more money on his shift… i have been visiting this bar lately alot but when fox works drinks are more… seems to me he is a thief.
2^nd i love everyone that works there… but fox is a complete ass he acts as if he owns the place and fyi owners… not in a good way. i happily visit happys often the min. i know fox is working im outta there… and not just me half the bar and 90% of happys regulars leave… pesonally i never ever have problems with anyone… fox needs to be fired… ps curious why are drinks more $$ on his nights… only one answer!!! he is taking off the top… get rid of him he is a cancer to your business
i will never stay the night when he works… treats customers like shit and charges more money
happys is a great place loose fox!!! never met a bigger asshole then fox! every time fox has served me he has treated me like shit and talks to me like im below him… i leave and spend my money else where… happys not so happy when fox is working!!!

This isn’t the cutest bar ever! Actually a dump! But I love it! Such a hidden little spot with a liquor shop right next to it! Cheap cheap cheap drinks you can’t go wrong with!

Fox is the best bartender! We got here and he was so quick. … He was funny too!!! Then we went back and Yanecy was our bartender… and how wonderful was she… Really dive bars are still alive… thnks…yanecy&fox

Great bar! Awesome people! Great price! I love the pool table. I like that everyone knows everyone. Awesome place to start ur night

I would rate Higher Because I love Sebastian, Yanecy, and Gabe. But 1 of the bartenders working there is the worst bartender at Happys. He seemed Very racist and ignored me and my girl for the evening. its 2014 racism at a bar is not a good look for business.

Excellent dive. Sebastian, Fox, Gabe and let’s not forget Yanecy… are all awesome. Reasonably priced drinks, juke box, pool table, punching bag? What more could one ask for… Lol. Highly, highly recommend as your new neighborhood haunt. You won’t be disappointed.

Wow — where to start…
We arrived, we sat. No bartender and 3 other patrons enjoying beers. We sat some more. And then some more. About 20 minutes goes by — and we are thinking the bartender is in the john dropping a deuce or something.
Well, apparently, the bartender also looks after the attached package liquor store and was over there. Finally, ‘Happy’ shows up looking, sounding and acting more like Droopy Dog and gets us our beers. This guy moved like a turtle after a stroke — slow as molasses.
The place might be a decent walk to local hangout or place to play pool but not someplace I’d hang at regularly.

Went back for another round & wasn’t disappointed.
$ 2.75 domestic beer, $ 3.50 import and specialty beer & $ 2.75 well drinks before 8p.m. daily, YOU JUST CAN’T BEAT IT.
and now with Directv Sunday NFL Ticket, IT IS ON!!!
Just a lil divey bar with great service.
Luv it when I can make it in. Prost.

This place is absolutely terrible. They are racist! They would not serve my two black friends but served me and my white friend. The bartender simply avoided and dodged when we kept asking if he would bring their drink. It’s so dirty in there, dust everywhere its obviously very rarely cleaned. It should be burnt to the ground and if it is not you should never step foot in there.

Sadly and as pathetic as it may sound, I’ve been patronizing this dump since the late 80’s. To call it a «dive» would be an insult to dive bars. This place is a toilet. A dump. An eyesore. A health hazard. An embarrassment. A blight.
I get it, proprietor – You own the entire mall, thus you could care less about the garbage, squalor, disrepair and dust at this place and the attached liquor store. FAIL.
I used to be a fan. Maybe it was nostalgia, maybe charity, maybe pathos. No more.
Burn this place, and the adjacent liquor store, to the ground. Start over.
Stinky, falling apart, squalor, waste, dirt, and disrepair. What a dump. Burn it. Burn, baby, burn.
Why so harsh, Cabeza? Holes in the men’s room wall. Garbage and boxes stacked in the space. Big, hairy dust bunnies hanging from the embarrassed ceiling. Gross. Filthy. Sad.
Whew, pass the hand sanitizer.

Alas poor Tom Clancy has recently passed away; how he would have adored to script the denizens of Happy’s Stork Lounge and Liquor and put this perfect dive bar as a setting into one of his novels where spys commiserate in smoke clouded corners while their mysterious compatriots play pool with bored laissez faire aspertions of self-​importance. Of course the Happy Stork is all that and more; like many late night (early morning?) dive bars that populate South Florida you shouldn’t be surprised to see bikers rubbing shoulders with trannies while tatted bartenders whip up powerful drinks to keep the crowd passive yet alert; ‘sides, the ever present and ticket-​happy gun toting North Bay Village po po are just around the corner so you’re not likely to see fisticuffs break out here — although you might see many an animated discussion. Happy Stork, in addition to quite late hours is also blessed to have a liquor store next door (you have to enter the bar to enter the liquor store) where prices may be, well, pricey (well you are, after all, purchasing that bottle of vodka at 2:00 am — notice the Russian prostitutes?!), there is at least availability. A few snackies for those with munchies (although you’d be better served by Pizza D’Lite next door), ciggies and I think a cheap porn DVD or two are also for sale — now can you beat that?! It’s a bar, it’s a dive, it’s a perfect dive bar — what more can I say?!

If you were looking for that quintessential dive, look no further, Happy’s is here to oblige.
Happy’s is a spot for the good ol’ boys and girls, many of them now wayward wanderers leading them to this mishmash watering hole for a communal connection and a game of pool. The bartender, Foxy, addresses you with a familiarity like you’re cousins and with a hearty dose of affection, he’ll pour you another.
Whether it’s Ludacris, Boys II Men, or Bruce Springsteen, the contemporary TouchTunes jukebox has something for everyone, even the beer-​swilling, old-​man regular. «Motown Philly» might incite an (impressive) dance-​off between the least likely characters and with a ring of the old-​fashioned register, you’re only a bar-​stool away from a stranger’s even stranger story.
Happy’s is a slice of life and a comfort blanket for many. The raspy voices echoing from ongoing conversations point to one too many nights spent in this smoke-​filled cocktail lounge and with cigarette’s in hand, the hoarsely-​voiced clientele shares chuckles and shameless flirtation. Happy’s is a refuge for the people you can’t even imagine outside of this bar. The regulars here are as present as the random décor on the walls. For them, this bar never closes.

This place is fantastic. Down to the totally 80s spring break pictures that are embedded in the bar at the end near the pool table.
$ 2.25 for a beer. Interesting regulars. Juke Box. Connected to a liquor store. Dark. Dirty. I think that about sums up a good dive bar.

I’ve been to lots of dive bars in S. Florida, but I think this place takes the cake — In a good, down and dirty dive bar kinda way.
Several of us decided to stop here after attending an event at nearby Trio On the Bay. The place was small and a bit cramped for all the Unilocalers that were packed in here, and a few of us felt overdressed! I ordered up a beer from the bar ($ 3.50 domestic bottles), and when they rang me up, I noticed they were using one of the older chrome cash registers with the big push buttons that «click» and stay depressed when they press them, and that has a bell that rings when the cash drawer opens… You know, the ones that were all the rage back in the 1960s and 70s! They did have an MP3 jukebox that was pretty modern and updated, but the rest of this place looks like it hasn’t been touched, or possibly cleaned, in decades.
I went to use the restroom, and used the stall with the urinal in it. It was one of the old school full height urinals that went from chest height all the way to the floor. It was filled with ice. Not because they were trying to be hip and cool and offer an ice filled urinal similar to the ones at The News Café, it was because there was no running water and it was the only way to keep the smell down. There were several large cracks and broken spots in the urinal and a few bits of the wall around it missing completely. When I began to use it, a swarm of small flies scattered! Ha ha.
Luckily the sink did work and they had a soap dispenser and working hand dryer, but no hot water, and the pea green wall sink looked like something straight out of the early 1970s.
I returned to the bar and started noticing all their signage («You #$%^ with me, you @#$% with the whole trailer park!» among others), and most of the people who were here before we arrived were definitely «characters». In fact, one of them kept looking at our group and mumbling, and even shook his fist at a some of them a few times. He chain smoked the entire time we were here and I’m quite sure he was drunk out of his mind. When he stood up and walked over to the jukebox, I noticed that the backs were blown out of both the legs of his bib overalls.
Attached to this bar is a full liquor store, and I do mean attached. While there is a separate entrance to the liquor store if you enter from the parking lot, there’s actually an open doorway between the bar and liquor store. They have a flat screen TV in the bar area, a few old school arcade games (including one with Ms. Pac Man, Space Invaders, Frogger, Donkey Kong and a few other 1980s-​era games on it). In the back room there is a pool table and an old school tube-​type TV sitting on a low shelf.
If you’re looking for a true dive bar experience, with absolutely no frills and that’s maybe even a bit seedy, this is the place for you! A solid 4 stars all the way!

Few bars survive in North Bay Village and Normandy Isles. Why that is, I’ll never know. With the amount of new high rise condos contributing to the heightened density of this waterfront hamlet, there should be no reason why a couple extra bars couldn’t survive here.
But for the time being, this area is ruled by Schuckers and it’s little punk step brother, Happy’s Stork Lounge.
It’s definitely a dive, but contrary to Arwen G’s observation; I found the inside rather clean and odorless. Women do have a better sense of smell, so maybe that fact contributes to the discrepancy.
Extra points for the baseball and hockey cards laminated onto the bar counter top accompanied by early 80’s pix of Miami studs with beach babes in french cut swim suits! Oh and I love how the place has an open doorway to it’s neighboring liquor store. You’ll never have to worry about running out of Slim Jim’s or Funions to accompany your PBR here !

I’m a sucker for a good dive bar and Happy’s Stork fits the bill. I came in with a rowdy bunch of Unilocalers that were already a bit tipsy from an elite event across the street. Even better.
It’s small, it’s a hole in the wall, it’s dirty, but it’s oh-​so-​divey and I loved it. I guess I should order a beer at a place like this, but I’d been sipping on fruity drinks all night so I went with a bay breeze. How much? Four bucks. No, I’m not kidding. Places in Miami have charged me $ 15 for the same drink, and this amazing, dumpy little dive bar sold me one for four dollars. Glorious! I’m a cheap date. Two or three of these, and I’m yours. I’m kidding, but seriously… I could have a really good time here.
And we DID have a good time. A great time! Pool table in the back, video game/​arcade machines next to the bar, and a smelly racist at the bar wearing overalls and slurring because he had clearly been kicking ‘em back. My only gripe was the cigarette smoke. I left smelling like an ashtray and it made my hair disgusting. I also woke up this morning with a sore throat because the smell of the cigarette smoke was so bad. Next time, I’ll pop outside for air throughout the evening because this place is too good to pass up if you’re in the mood for a good dive.

After party!
From Trio a group of Unilocalers met here.
Located at a very small plaza, thankfully it has a lighted sign you can see from the street. Must admit I was a little hesitant to walk in. Sign says ‘liquor store’ so it confused us a bit but, once inside and with friends, we had a fun time.
Jukebox with a good selection of music did not stop playing.
Beer was around $ 4 and drinks $ 5.
Very laid back, come as you are type of place.
Bartender was friendly, quick with drinks but take note, there’s a rule… ‘everyone must have a drink in their hands while there’. But don’t worry, they respect designated drivers, for those, he prepared water with lime (to look like a vodka seltzer) so you don’t feel left out.
Very cool on his part.
The fact of this being next to the liquor store has it’s benefits. If the don’t have what you ordered, either you or the bartender can take a few steps and get it — mostly beer.
Cool place, specially with friends.

ok… so after an awesome Elite Event… rumor had it the after party was happening at this place… so. of we went. and yes… it got crazy!
This place is literally a hole in the wall… kinda sketchy nonetheless… but if you go with the right group of people. it can be all sorts of fun!!!
The bartender really hooked us all up with a bunch of shots and free drinks! and the jukebox was filled with all the right tunes. so much so. it led to some dancing.
Overall, good times!!!

If you love dives, you will fall in love. Not for the faint of heart or morals. Shady people doing shady things but not so blatantly as to make you uncomfortable. Happy’s has been in N. Bay Village for what seems like forever, so long that they got «grandfathered» in to the law that prohibits bars from being a certain distance from schools. There is a school a stone’s throw away. ROCK ON!
The drink are HELL-​A affordable. There is a package store attached where you can buy anything from a low quality porn to a Vic’s inhaler. It is walking distance from where I live so I can stumble home after having indulged. The bar tenders are cool. Elaine makes the BEST Oatmeal cookie shots.

I’m no stranger to dive bars, but I have to admit I was a bit skeptical the first time I walked into this place. Your first impression is probably less like Happy Storks and more like Marabou Storks, (Africans call them undertaker birds if that helps you any). This watering hole reminds me of when I was stationed in Cheyenne, Wyoming and I used to frequent 1 out of only 2 bars in the city. To give you an idea of what I’m talking about, the local «ladies» thought scrunchies were fashionable, would spit dip into empty Mountain Dew bottles, and would tell me things like;
«Did you know we’re famous for the world’s largest rodeo?»
I think it’s funny that they use coasters when the bar looks like it’s taken a few direct hits from a XM307 automatic grenade launcher. The «decorations» include baseball cards, in front of me was Bo Jackson and Al Rosen (Jews play professional sports outside of Israel?) and spring break pictures so outdated that the contestants could make a contemporary reunion tour called Grannies Gone Wild. You could spend a good hour laughing at their teased hair, neon bikinis and make-​up that could help them pass as clones of Bret Michaels.
The men’s room reminds me of the time I took a tour of the USS Los Angeles, the oldest submarine in the US Navy’s fleet; monochrome, grimy and uncomfortably small. I don’t even think there’s a door on the stall.
Being a Dominican York/​Nuyorican I instantly recognize that the bartender, Yenecy, is a Big Apple Boricua, but how in the world did she end up in place that even Amy Winehouse would call sleazy? I really don’t care why, I’m just grateful. She’s a whirlwind of energy, is always smiling, and shares a quality with my brother, Bo; she can talk to anyone about anything. That’s a skill lacking in corporate, assembly line bartending that’s endemic to Miami. Besides attentive service she hooked me up twice! She gave me 3 free Alabama Slammers (a $ 9 value) and 10 jukebox credits.
One of my jukebox selections was «Oh Sheila» by Ready for the World.
After everyone yelled out that they love Prince?! Half the bar started dancing, there was only 9 of us (I was tapping my foot so that accounts for the half).
It’s still a mystery how Storks has such an astonishing collection of booze, yet slangs them at wholesale prices. I guess it’s because it’s attached to a liquor store. Or maybe because the regulars only order the big three; Bud, Miller Lite and Corona, and they have no idea what to charge me for the «fancy» beers.
Some of the fancy beers by the bottle include; Franzikanzer, Newcastle, Stella, and Spaten. Having just returned from Amsterdam, I ordered my usual Dutch breakfast… Hash Coffee and a Spacecake please… no but for real I asked for a Grolsch.
For those of you that prefer spirits; Belvedere Intense Vodka, Pyrat Rum, Tanqueray Rangpur Gin, Bushmills Irish Whiskey, and Cachaça 51 for making «Happy Style» Caipirinhas were at most $ 6. Most drinks falling between $ 3 – 4 range.
We got completely inebriated and the bill came up to a modest $ 40 (for 3 doods). As we left I yawned and said to my co-​worker Unilocaler Mike D., «am I too drunk to work on patients?» the entire bar responded with an audible gasp and demanded to know what hospital I worked at… fun times. I give Storks my stamp of approval as an ideal pre– or after party location.
***As you’re leaving be careful of the dash cams and don’t speed over the causeways, the North Bay Village po-​pos collect their pensions on the causeway!