China Wok Express

I am not a picky person. For example I’ll take the hair off the food if I find it and continue eating. THAT BEING SAID! I came in here on a random Tuesday to get some food. I usually do the basic (Combo B all noodles) I got the «orange chicken» and the sweet and sour wings. DUDE! I understand this food is cheap, I understand this food isn’t the healthiest. But GOD DAMN! The orange chicken was some dried fried bits that is lathered in the «orange sauce» once you order it. And the sweet and sour wings. They’re this goopy glue like sauce that is bland as Miley Cyrus body. I love this very unhealthy and cheap food. It usually all taste the same (China express $ 1 Chinese places) But even the chow mein was so oily and flavorless even a guy with an iron stomach wasn’t able to eat this garbage. If you’re looking for some good cheap Chinese food Go the the Chinese food spot on Florence and Perry (where the Super A is) in Bell Gardens. Or my personal favorite. The Chinese food spot on Garfield and Firestone (in the SAMs club/Denny’s shopping center in South Gate.

The food was super bland, but I was hungry and ate it anyways and after I got to the bottom of my fried rice guess what I find? A fat dead fly, so grossed out, never coming back!

Very bad. Chow Main was hard, and they gave me just 3 pieces of shrimp. Noisy, hot atmosphere. Never again

The fried rice is good not bland like some other spots around town. The chow mein is what you would expect, good. The orange chicken is off the chain here, imo. Its kinda made to order. They sauce the chicken when you order it, which is why i love it. I don’t get any of those mushy chicken bits. I dig a crispy texture (even my tortillas). I’ve never been offered the free drink, but i always get an egg roll and fortune cookie. Also, the several times I’ve been here, I’ve never had an issue with the ladies manning the counter.

Worst service and horrible costumer service… this chinese lady doesn’t want business. …ruined my happy evening!!! RUDE, RUDE, RUDE.. lady was actually screaming!!! We walked right out!!!

First of all the service was horrible. I am pissed at myself for allowing anyone to give me attitude in that manner that the female worker did on today’s visit. It was like I was annoying her for giving her business. There was no one there and it was 630 so I should have known what was all the attitude for? This was the first and last time I go here. I know sometimes at Chinese restaurants The workers are cold but she was down right a b$(?!(. Excuse my language.
The food was very bland and not flavorful and quality was very poor. We did not finish our order. We now know how bad it really was. It is 11pm and both my wife and I have major stomach pain and each on the toilet. the food did not sit well and I usually can eat anything.
I am writing because this store has extremely poor service even for a fast food Chinese shop, bland food and not fresh to the point you get sick.
Everyone you have been warned.

Super generous with their portions. $ 12 for 2 combos and each combo includes an egg roll and drink.

I like the food here. They have a sign outside that says free soda and egg rolls with a plate, but if you don’t tell them about the soda they won’t give it to you lol. I just think that’s kind of greedy.

always my favorite chinese place to eat, the ladies are really nice and the prices are great! They have awesome orange chicken and the egg rolls are so good!

I was once asked what my favorite country in Asia was and I did not answer for many reasons. I thought about many Vietnamese female friends throughout my years, the Thai food I love, my fascination with Japanese décor, Filipino Activist I admire, Bollywood movies like «Spices» and so much more. I also have a place in my heart for China.
Many in mi Familia like Chinese food and it is no coincidence my ancestors lived with the highest population of Chinese outside of China in Mexicali, Mexico. I enjoy a variety of Chinese food including Chinese fast food. I usually only give Chinese fast foods a shot out if they feature potato chicken.
This restaurant did not have potato chicken but they had something I enjoyed more, potato beef. I guess my «mini vaca from eating vaca» is on hold till tomorrow. The potato beef had thick, wedge size potatoes in soft, seasoned sauce with that thin, pounded beef.
To summarize, the potato beef was good and I will probably be back. It is next to a Chicken spot, Greek spot across the street and two good taco places, plus Marie Calendars, so, it has some competition.

This place is very close to my house and I come often. A two item combo is about $ 6.50 but they charge you an extra dollar if you don’t have cash, so watch out.
I like the orange chicken, the bbq pork, and the teriyaki chicken.
Their chow mein is good but I always take the onion out. Fried rice is great.
free egg roll everytime and a free soda if you specially mention the free soda and then they fill the free soda with 90% ice
But I like it, I do.

I was having a smilin’ bright happy day until bad news screeched me damn near into a 12 car freeway pileup akin to the typical LA sudden gridlock epidemic You know the one, when you’re turning a freeway corner while cruising around 85 and – THAR.SHE.BLOWS. (at least that’s how it felt – and hey, i’m referring to the traffic here, get yer mind outta the gutter)…
anywhoo, but i digress. major. digression.
well. the point is, i had a major ITCH TO SCRATCH and it wasn’t goin’ away. and no, i don’t mean anything contagious (wow, what’s with the just ‘slightly’ subliminal sexual innuendo here??)…must be… yes, it’s all the fault of incomparable Unilocaler Hilario Crazy Cooder… er…um, i mean, John C. (who knows, maybe his last name IS Cooder??)…hmmm.
anyway, that itch i needed to scratch was an oiled-​up, saucy greasy Chinese FOOD craving, and i acted on that urge by swinging by a place i’d sampled before, Ms. China Wok express. It was kinda like a BOOTY CALL, I guess? (Ok I promise that’s the last S.E.X. ref here – really!!)
Hey, it’s not my fault, when you see John C.‘s review I’ve linked to, you’ll see what got into my head. And by the way, this is not the first time he’s preempted me in a likely First To Review scenario. I mean, smack dab in the middle of a non-​descript STRIP MALL on a moribund stretch of Paramount Blvd. in Downey– there ever was a candidate for a FIRST, this was Virgin territory.
But after I INDULGED, I learned from our fair Unilocalosphere that John had already ‘been there, done that,’ with Ms. China Wok Express (maybe that’s why they were ‘Blasting the Chinese Music’ to such stratospheric decibel levels… :O-​o
damn it… i HATE SLOPPY SECONDS!!!
Who knew? I was stunned, in denial, perhaps.
But then again. Unilocal,don’t lie!
Hey, there’s a silver lining here – no, it’s not that the food was good (well, if you follow John C, the self-​proclaimed KING OF FIVES, I guess it was like an ORGY in your mouth)…
My advice?
DON’T BELIEVE THE 5 STAR HYPE
DO READ THE ORIGINAL REVIEW–
It’s one of the funniest LMAO moments I’ve ever had, and completely re-​illuminated my grayed out sunny day.
So here’s my Counterintelligence Misinformation on John C. Hilario’s (H. for Hilario, not ‘HOLMES,’ you perverts!!) Splooge…
1.You’d better pick up a take out menu and leaf thru it, because all the hot trays of food do not identify what you’re getting in each gooey scoop. Which makes it kinda fun b/​c you can make up your own names for each dish, like, in my case:
–Some Kinda Mystery Meat (No bueno) Vegetable Mélange with Crunchy Zucchini Rounds (bueno) Soggy Corn-​Starched Up Cabbage (No bueno) and Browned Out Spoiled Celery (I was suspicious of the celery’s nasty funk, and then I found a nice brownish piece at the bottom of my Styrofoam plate o’ goodness – and I thought it was the Sea of Brown SAUCE that made it brown! It woulda’ been nice to discover this fact at the BEGINNING of the meal) -(MUY MALO!!!)
–Mealy Shrimp with Vaguely Delicious Firm Yet Rubbery Plastic-​Textured Straw Mushrooms, Bamboo Shoots, Carrots and Baby Corns (Because they’re straight from the Can)
–Spicy Chicken-​like Mystery Meat (again!) with Inedible Makin’ Me Choke Mushrooms and Slippery Green Bell Pepper Goopity Gloppety
2. Despite my Noble attempts to mask this abomination with the otherworldly spicy goodness of that Vietnamese chili sauce in the clear plastic bottle with the Green Cap that sits at every table in this joint (albeit a totally doctored up watered down sacrilegious version of it, so they can reuse the plastic bottles – hey at least it’s enviro-​friendly, kinda sorta), that is NOT what you get for take out. And the lady tried to pull the wool over my eyes by telling me repeatedly the take out single use packets are the same stuff – instead all I got was a salty as shyte facsimile of it!!! MUY MUY MALO, LYING LADY!!!
So there you have it–
No matter the Two Star rating – yes I’ve had MUCH MUCH better, but the fact I satisfied the need was worth the price (cash only) of admission!
Note to Self: Next time I get a sudden urge for saucy, oily, greasy Chinese, I hope my lucky stars are aligned and I’m not wearing a fresh clean (now formerly) white shirt… well, like somebody somewhere sometime once said, ‘No stain No pain!‘
Or like one other lucky piece of Confucian advice, ‘Happy Accident is the Mother of Invention.’ – this courtesy of the Peking Noodle Company, the makers of my fortune cookie, which on the back side says, ‘Learn Chinese — -VERY IMPORTANT!’
I can’t MAKE this shit up!!!
Oh, and despite all the Chinese hilarity in Mr. John C. Hilario King of Five’s rant, these peeps are clearly, mos’ def, 100% certified Vietnamese. It should be called Saigon Wok Express. Sorry to spoil your Peking Party, Mr. Hilario.
And yes, if you are also curious about the ‘BLASTING,’ it’s all being done, in – you guessed it – Vietnamese as well. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Perhaps…
DONE. (Finally!)