Clooney’s Pub

Just kicked out for trying to watch a football game and ordering a water before we can order our drinks. The dark dirty bar has people openly doing keys of coke in the bathroom at NOON! By far the worst bar I’ve ever seen. I cannot stress enough that nobody should ever go there.

I have been going to Clooney’s for over a decade. What a great dive! Drinks are strong & music solid. Hats off to Clooney’s for supporting pubic servants. Not many San Francisco establishment do, especially with a banner in support. I will continue to patronize & recommend Clooney’s…cheers

Staying in Mission for New Years and my friend insisted on having bacon and eggs for breakfast. I didn’t know anywhere in the area, but Unilocal confirmed these guys did breakfast.
It was delicious — but a very unique experience. We rolled in at 1115, and the place was buzzing with lots of dedicated drinkers. I asked the BT if they did breakfast and he yelled over at a woman sitting in the corner if she was making food. She says yes — so I say to her we want breakfast. Her only question? ‘How many?’ And then she left. I had no idea what breakfast would ultimately entail.
About 15 minutes later, she emerges from the closet sized kitchen with 3 plates of bacon, sausage, sunny eggs, toast and potatoes. Delicious.
Honest to god? Solid experience, Clooney’s.

Bartender was cool, beers were nice, but it was at a bar, and they were playing some weird stuff on the TV, like anima or something from Japan, but they did have food available, which I was about to order, but I kept on moving to the next bar, #barHoping

This place is pretty good. I used to wake up and have breakfast here.
6am is a good time to drink as any to me plus I don’t drink on an empty stomach. they usually have really good food here.
I like this old school feel type of bar, that ol neighborhood vibe makes me feel comfy.
The pool table is great too, that’s how I used to get my morning workout when I lived out here. This place doesn’t change much an that’s exactly what I like about it.
The bartender always has a cool attitude to wake up too.
I like this location, its just soo perfect. Theirs always some cool dog around too pet too.
Hell I used to bring my guinea pig Cloud in here an he had a great time.

Great old school neighborhood corner bar. Pool table, historic photos, atm machine, food, beer on tap, friendly regulars. Everything you need.

Typical dive bar. Different crowds come and go at different times of the day. Usually more male than females. Always a crowd during big sports games, cheering at the TV. Decent prices for drinks. Hang out here if you’re looking to chill out and not bother anyone

I love this bar because it has a lot of space, even when it’s crowded. Tara and Kim are great bartenders. Although the crowd can be a little ghetto at times, it’s pretty refreshing considering most of the bars in the mission have been taken over by fucking hipsters.

Actually opens at 6am! Horseshoe bar, so get ready to have alot of eyes on ya! This place has been here since the beginning of time and is definately a dive (and I’m not talking «valencia hipster» dive). The old time regulars have no qualms to tell you to F off and/​or get in your conversation whether you want them to or not. Can’t guarantee your safety towards the closing hours as the young «gangbanger» crowd tends to take over late at night. If your looking to get s*** faced and not want to remember — this is the place!!!

Meh.
Maybe it’s because I’m generally not a huge dive bar guy, but this was just an okay experience. I met up with a group here, hence my attendance. The crowd that comes there is nice enough and the bartenders are good. It feels like a neighborhood bar where everybody knows your name.
Met some interesting characters, talked to strangers about the Giants win (over the Astros, shock shock, the night I was there), and enjoyed a few good drinks. But I’ve been to dive bars in the rural South that were just as good or better – you’ve been to one and you’ve been to many.
Clooney’s serves a neighborhood niche and I’m glad it’s there. I just probably won’t go out of my way to go back. In it’s favor, even though it’s in hipster world, it isn’t a hipster bar, so there’s none of that pretentious love-​my-​own-​farts (South Park reference) sort of ‘tude in there.
3 stars + 1 star for no ‘tude = 4 stars.

OK, so, the boy and I wanted to celebrate me getting off work early on Tuesday, so we headed to a bar (any bar!) that was open. We found Clooney’s Pub and in we went.
At 2:00 in the afternoon, the horseshoe-​shaped bar was PACKED. What gives? Oh, the game, right. Whatever, we’re here for beers!
We ordered up a pint each and went to grab a seat at one of the tables. We put our pints down, and as my man sits, the chair wobbles and he loses his balance. To regain it, he grabs the table, WHICH ALSO WOBBLES. He’s screwed, but I’m also screwed because my pint’s now fallen over and spilled everywhere. Wah.
It gets better…
The ENTIRE bar has turned around to witness this ordeal. They’re hootin’ and hollerin’ about my poor guy’s luck, and Ricardo (some drunken, awesome guy) bolts to our table.
Does he help my poor guy? NO.
Does he ask him if he’s OK? NO.
Does he help me clean the spilled beer? NO.
He grabs the chair and tests the part that wobbles. «I vouch for this man!» he yells to our audience. «This chair is REALLY broken! How’d you not fall harder, man?»
After the cheering has settled down, I go over to grab a fresh pint. The bartender feels bad for us, so he buys us each a shot of whiskey to make us feel better.
And feel better we did. What an experience! I’m tempted to knock my man’s chair over next time so we continue having a great time.

Yep, all the reviews sum it up!
It’s divey, dark and entertains an older kind of people; the kind that start to drink at 8am on a Saturday and yell random stuff across the bar like they’ve known you all their life.
True story.

I can’t say that I disagree with any of the reviews I’ve read, good or bad. Clooney’s is a legit, sometimes awe inspiring spectacle filled with people who are awfully entertaining while at the same time that guy who just made you laugh would provoke a 911 call if he showed up at your front door.
If you’re squeamish I’d avoid a visit, the natives can appall you as easily as they entertained you only a moment earlier. That said, if you want the real dive bar experience and to meet real ‘characters’ straight out of a Bukowski novel, no place is better.
As for the bartenders, my favorites are Summer, Ryan & Tara…

Well, after taking the BART back to SF from my mechanic in Hayward, I ended up taking the wrong train and decided to get some lunch and possibly a quick drink in the mission. I thought of Clooney’s which has always had a lively daytime drinking crowd and headed there. When I arrived, I was surprised to see that they now have a kitchen attached to the bar.
Clooney’s is one of the last of the ‘real’ bars in the area. Steve the bartender is the real deal. Yes, it can be a drunk tank at times… in my book, that’s the highest compliment a dive bar can have. See and be seen? Yeah right… how about drink and be drunk! Clooney’s opens real early too…6:00AM, another measure of an good dive.
Bonus points for having the Galley attached where you can get some surprising good food.

Do you know those bars in the midwest that have good beers, pool tables, lots of space to move around in, employees who don’t just look at you like a dollar sign and REALLY good food?
This place is one of those.
4 stars because I’ve only been once so far. :-D

3 ½ stars if ½’s existed
I took a chance here and I’m glad I did. I always walk by this bar and think to myself, «I’m not one to drink at 8 AM on a Tuesday, so don’t fancy I’ll be going to this place anytime soon.»
Fast-​forward to 8 PM on a Tuesday — I met up with a friend here. Let me say… the juke box had a nice steady list of plays. Once it ended on Wham’s «Careless Whisper,» I slid in, and threw $ 8 bucks into the machine (good times, relived my mid-​twenties with that set).
I also ordered a sandwich thinking it would be like any old stale pub food, but I was wrong again. Order the French Onion sandwich; you won’t be disappointed. It’s not much in portion sizes, but it makes up in calories and deliciousness.
Anyway, solid place, but it definitely has it’s regulars. Don’t be shy. Sit right in. You may want to leave around 10:30 PM, as I can’t account for what happens as the night wears on…

My friend used to live right around the corner so this was the neighborhood joint. A dive bad with no hipsters as some others have mentioned. I weird mix of old timers, younguns and random other cuts of society. Cheap drinks, good jukebox, cash only. 3.5 stars

I live within a block of this bar, and it regularly features loud, violent drunks, shouting racist/​misogynist/​homophobic slurs, beating bloody fists on random buildings and cars, wandering and hovering, between midnight and 3am, and again from around 6am to 8am.
A nightmare for the neighborhood. I’ve lived near bars before, but seriously, never have I experienced such an extreme degree of madness and rudeness.

This is an old-​school bar, in the way that Billy Bob Thornton is an old-​school alcoholic in Bad Santa. There will always be someone in this bar, of this I am convinced.
You will not find anything fancy or showy here. They like it that way. Get your drink, keep it down, and have a good time. Don’t cause trouble or you’ll find yourself on your ass in the street.

Where else can you go to get a drink at 6:00 am in The Mission? Where else can you be served by a Mother Daughter team?
I finally worked things out with the owner and had an event here. I brought at least 50 people and had a great time, I hope the bar also thought it was a good deal for them. The truth of the matter is that I bring so many people we chase the regulars out and the regulars usually aren’t very happy about it.
I’ve also heard this is the best place to find a contractor; come at 7:00 when they are getting their morning drink.

Spotted in front of Clooney’s over the course of one week:
9:15 pm, Saturday night — Two large girls shoving each other. Neither had the sense to take off her hoop earrings or hair extensions first.
8:35 am, Monday morning — A guy I used to know and his much younger female companion, pale and shaky, smoking with an old man who was using a rope as a belt.
3:30pm, Sunday afternoon — A man and his dog. The man’s shirt said, «It ain’t gonna suck itself.»
This is a real dive bar. And in this case, «dive» means there are people here who are currently hitting bottom. I’m a straight up townie drunkard, and I’m still too scared to go to Clooney’s. Posers take heed.