Visions Men Club

Great looking girls! We had so much fun here. The girls will socialize with you and all the staff is super friendly. They also give you 5 free drinks on your birthday. Which is awesome! Lap dances are only $ 30 and the cover charge was $ 8. Which is a deal. The only reason I’m not giving 5 stars is that there is only one small pole and the girls can’t dance on it because of it’s size. It’s all bar top dances. The girls walk around on the top of the bar and stop to dance in front of you. More stages with poles would be awesome. The have gambling machines and pool tables. It is very well ventilated so it’s not smoky. Great establishment in New Orleans. I will definitely be back.

i like visions a lot. it’s the anti-​bourbon street strip club where the girls aren’t junkies and the management isn’t pimping them. i often go in the afternoons (friday or saturday) and look for a specific dancer (long black hair, big blue eyes, huge tattoo down her left side) who is as great a conversationalist at the seat next to you as she is dancing on the stage.
and there IS a stage. with mirrors and poles in between the two bars which also serve as platforms for the girls to dance upon (as others have mentioned). the stage/​bar setup is and interesting being a fan of the out-​of-​the-​ordinary, i like it.
i also like that this is a «locals» club. no drunken tourists and college spring break frat boys. the second time i visited, the bartender, joe, remembered me. same with the doorman. it’s that kind of attention and attitude that makes me return.
another good thing is that the club isn’t filled with oversized t-​shirt wearing thugs staring at the girls, texting bullshit to their dope customers, and not tipping because when the girl dances over to you at the bar, you have to give her a buck or two or you’ll get kicked out. there are no booths or tables. it’s a slick way to make money and if you’re in a boobie bar, you shouldn’t have any complaints about it, because that’s what you’re supposed to be there for.
as a former employee of strip clubs, nothing gets the girls and staff more upset than guys who just sit and stare and nurse one warm beer. visions is a bit more lively than that.
then there are the dance, vip and party rooms. recently the club changed some rules and prices for these services and without going into detail, i like it. from what i can tell, the girls make more money and dancers with money are happy dancers.
(laughing!)
finally, i went on my birthday and got five free drinks. seriously. five. its not really free because you ought to tip well, but sheesh, three bucks a beer at a boobie bar where strippers are kissing your cheeks and rubbing your freshly shaved head with their boobies? what’s not to like?
«a round for each of these lovely ladies, joe!»
i’ve visited all the different rooms, all with the same dancer (mentioned above), and always get what i pay for and then some. having visited strip clubs from los angeles to tampa and phoenix to houston, it’s easy to say visions is my favorite.
for local new orleanians, it’s worth the drive east over the high rise for these reasons and more.

Not bad for a «non-​tourist trap» titty bar. Not TOO aggressive on the «up-​sell (I was going to say «hard sell», but thought better).
Above average talent.

This is the best strip club around, you get your moneys worth. Back in the day before Katrina i visited the local strip clubs on a regular basses. I hate going to French Quarter they are over priced and just overall suck. Visions is nearly all locals, and secluded enough to feel comfortable. There parking lot is huge and well lighted and have security that not only watch the front doors but watch over the parking lot. Good not to worry some crack head or a hole is breaking into my car while i am watching some boobs. Back in the day they had stools so they were comfortable, but they decided to replace them with fixed chairs that don’t swivel so your forced to either stand or sit facing the bar. I understand why they choose to fix the chairs to not move many guys would just sit there with there backs to the girls taking up valuable space. But the chairs are not the most comfortable. They added two more lap dance rooms, one is more private then the old open room that had 4 to 8 girls giving lap dances at one time. Not sure about the VIP one but many smiles came out from that one. They fixed up the bathroom, feels like a luxury hotel men’s room. The time before last they had a guy working in there but nobody this last time. Drinks are ok, usually $ 5 per mix or beer, The mix drinks are a little small and week for me but i like to drink. The bartenders are usually pretty cool and remember your face and which drink you want and get it to you pretty fast. As to the girls (The main reason your there) it varies like every other strip club. You will see the hot ones the not so hot ones, the sexy ones and the trashy ones. Best way to describe «to each his own is beautiful». I never felt pressured to get lap dances or buy (Warm Shots) from the shot girls. Overall i think this strip club is the best one around because you can feel comfortable, have a good time, not spend your entire paycheck, and go home safe feeling you had a good time. Ow i almost forgot when i got there they had a guy on the side selling food from a massive smoker. I was hungry when i left so i got a plate and for $ 10 bucks the food was damn good. So my only grip is the chairs and the small mixed drinks.

I don’t like strip clubs and they just don’t do much for me so about the only time I’m in one is when I get dragged along by my friends. On one such occasion I got dragged into this joint. What I found extremely amusing about this place, out in the middle of nowhere in New Orleans East, was that the girls just parade around on top of the bar. The great thing about this place is they don’t completely rip you off on their drink prices like 99% of all other such establishments as this. If you have the need of a strip club for a bachelor party, birthday, or whatever else this is probably the best place in the NOLA area to do it.

Keeping this review as short as possible to minimize skeeziness and maximize usefulness.
Visions is out in New Orleans East, just past the Industrial Canal in a largely vacant and industrial area. The only thing near by worth mentioning is another strip club across the street.
Ventured out for a group birthday celebration — mine and a friend’s after hearing about an excellent birthday deal. If its within 3 days of your birthday, you pay no cover and get 5 free drinks. Anybody with you gets in for free too, provided you print out a silly certificate from their website. The bouncer didn’t give us any sass for having a whole group that was exempt from paying cover, even as we presented our dweeby coupons.
The layout inside features a long, circuitous bar that snakes around the whole place. The dancers enter from backstage, approach the pole, and proceed to walk a circuit around the entire bar, ending up backstage again. It is a very efficient way to run a club.
The dancers were attractive in general and most were extremely personable. Drinks aren’t outrageously priced — around $ 4 for a bottle. Private dances n the VIP room cost $ 30. There is nothing available over that price.
The environment is extremely laid back and low-​pressure, unlike many adult establishments on Bourbon. When approached by a dancer, a simple «no thanks» to their offer of a private dance ended the conversation with a smile.
If you are looking for a nice evening of degrading entertainment, you could do much worse than Visions.

«I wear my sunglasses at night…» yeah and it’s to see Visions all over again. I’ll confess that you won’t find me in men’s clubs often. However I’m from Houston, went to college in Dallas, and have spent my share of time in Vegas. I tell you that to tell you this: I’ve been to some amazing clubs over the years. Visions is easily the most fun I’ve had in a long time.
We were here for a bachelor party for one of my LSU buddies, and got this recommendation from a fellow groomsman who lives in NOLA. Thank you my man! Beers were $ 4, the most expensive dance is $ 30, and there’s no rip-​off champagne room every girl is trying to get you into for $ 300. Best part: a cheap and thorough humiliation of the bachelor on stage. Larry Flint’s, for example, wants a couple hundered just to give some half-​ass show to your buddy on stage. We paid $ 85 and it was hilarious. Of course the real deal is that the girls are smokin and friendly.
So there you have it: hot chicks, cheap beer, and bargain basement prices to humiliate your closest friends. What more do you want? Free drinks? OK — the bachelor gets 5 of em w/​his cover. How sweet is that?!