Subway

What can I say? It’s a Subway. Most of them look the same. They all have pictures of the sandwiches on the wall. It’s cheap. You can’t expect fine dining here. It’s simple food that can be eaten if you are in a health conscious mood. Worked late tonight and just wanted to grab a quick meal to bring home. Had the new orchard chicken salad on a honey oat roll, diet coke, and Baked Lays chips. Tasted decent. Buurrrpp!

I was thoroughly disappointed with the experience I had at this New York eatery. The décor was very tacky, I mean pictures of the food, come on guys, it’s a restaurant we know you serve food, gawsh.
When I walked into this establishment, I was astonished to find it empty, aside from a homeless man they were neglecting expel from the premisses. When I was asked what I would like I asked to peruse their wine list. I was met with a prodigiously rude response and then informes, hold on to your hat, they don’t even have a wine list! They had robed me of a crucial part of my dinning experience, the audacity of this accursed eatery! I collected myself after this astonish disappointment and ordered an oven roasted turkey sandwich, after it had been toasted and adorned with cheeses the gentlemen asked me what kind of accouterments I would like on my sandwich. I first selected lettuces, which prompted him to take his boorish, questionably cleanly hand, and man handle my lettuce, both contaminating and crushing my vegetables simultaneously! This continued for several toppings, watching him crush all of my sandwich components was horrifying and there was nothing I could, I was helpless. This most of been what Anne Frank felt like watching out her window seeing all her kin being taken away, without being able to help them. Then he slid my completed sandwich into some sort of brightly colored sandwich condom of sorts and smiled at me, as if he had no idea the degree of a culinary abomination he just procured. Finally after having my evening ruined and my appetite murdered, I asked him «excuse me sir, but where did you do your culinary training, because I’m certain the instructors at the CIA and FIC wouldn’t have allowed you to pass based on this performance I just bared witness to!». He starred at me blankly, like a buffoon and asked me if I wanted a combo. I normally I would relish the opportunity to experience a new culinary invention like this «combo» but I was too agitated by what had just transpired, so I just calmly asked for my check and left.
I don’t see how this «subway» establishment is able to stay afloat in this inordinately competitive New York restaurant environment. I came into this restaurant in hopes of trying out some of the local flavor of the upper east side, but was met with one of the least inspired dining experiences I’ve had in ages. I would like to meet the proprietors of this establishment and inform them that the culinary world isn’t their forte and assure them that they will find little to no success with this «subway» establishment of their’s.