Khalua Hookah Lounge

this was the worst hookah bar on earth. before even entering the valet made an extremely racist comment. first he had the nerve to ask if my friend and i were sisters, im thinking like siblings he was referring to my race and then proceeded to say theres a lot of hispanics inside idt you want to go in hahahaha. that made me extremely upset but it was late and i didnt want to take my chances going to the les. valet parking was 20 dollars like wtf… this is not midtown and even there you wouldn’t pay that much. so after paying for parking elsewhere we proceeded. i went there on a tuesday and they had the nerve to charge a cover. and i didnt see anyone else pay for my duration. then we went to the back to find a table and the staff could barely even speak english when we asked for a table. we got hand signaled to sit in the front by the window. i asked for hookah the bartender told me $ 15. minutes later he still didnt make it and comes again and said hookah is actually $ 25 and drinks were $ 15. like 99 percent of places in nyc prices start at 7 – 15 and if you want to mix flavors or add liquor or etc. its extra. and $ 15 for a drink is ridiculous, maybe at madison square garden but drinks should not have been more then $ 6 dollars in all honesty. the hookah was good but not worth the price. the staff was very rude, inattentive. and this place doesnt take cards or have an atm like its 2015 upgrade your services with your prices. do not go here ever!!! you will regret it!!! if i had only looked at the comments before, only if

What can say, I like the place.
There are two sections to this place. In the front, there is a VERY NICE bar. The liquor selection is very nice. There is a small lounge section to the immediate left when you walk in. Down the bar to the back it opens up to more of a club setting. Numerous tables (mostly all standing) and a efw couches against the back wall for VIP seating. Now, I’ve only been on saturday nights, but I believe Saturday MUST be Salsa night, because I may have heard maybe one or two songs of anything else. Not that it is a problem. Gives me a chance to dance to beautiful women and polish up my skills.
I’m not a Hookah man, but all my friends swear by it. There are some pretty nice bottle specials. I am considering doing one of many birthday celebrations here.
The bathrooms are SMALL. If you turn around, you’ll be right outside the door again. There are a lot of fixtures in there that serve no purpose, (paper towel dispenser with no paper towels, air dryer that doesn’t work) but that’s OK! It does not detract from the over all fun that can be accomplished here

Short version: the worst hookah bar I have ever been to in New York City, possibly the entire country. Do yourself a favor and stay away from this place forever.
Long version: Now that hookah is a definite trend in the city there are tons of places outside of the East Village/​Lower East Side as Astoria offering hookah to unsuspecting club hoppers. Finding random hookah in Inwood is pretty common, but it does not follow that said hookah is any good or served up by people who know what they’re doing.
However, I am a big fan of smoking water pipes, thus I became excited when I saw a new «hookah lounge» opening up in my nabe. Yes, the place is named Kahlua and yes the place was formerly just a regular restaurant and yes the dayglow trippy sign out front is a bit much. Plus, any place that has a security person at the door isn’t likely to be very safe. STILL, despite all that my roommates and I decided to give this spot a try tonight.
This was bad decision #1. First, they asked us to come back in half an hour because they needed to clean up from a party. No biggie. After said half an hour they still weren’t ready for us, so we got a seat in the front of the place by the door. Next, no one came to serve us and we discovered only by asking that we needed to get our own drinks from the bar. Then, after we got that sorted, a guy came and put a hookah on our table.
«What is this?» I asked.
«It’s a hookah,» he said.
«I know that, but what flavor is this?»
«Oh, it’s mint.»
We had not ordered mint. We had not ordered anything. We were waiting for them to bring us a menu. The dude had decided to just choose a random flavor for us… because. After determining this, I asked to see a menu because I would like to choose the flavor for myself, thanks. They have no menus, so he recited the establishment’s 5 flavors to us. We chose Blue Mist.
Once he brings us our new hookah he says «$ 30.»
$ 30.
Unilocal, they charged $ 30 for one hookah.
You might ask: did the hookah come with wine in the bottom or maybe a fruit for the bowl? No, it did not. Mind you, hookahs down on the LES start at $ 10 or $ 12 and get up to $ 20 or $ 25 when you want special stuff like wine or milk in the bottom and a fruit bowl. Here at Kahlua Hookah Lounge, they start at $ 30.
We should have left. But you know how it is when you fix your brain on something. We wanted hookah, and they had a good flavor, so we smoked.
The coal was not covered by a little shelter and, as I said, we were sitting by the door. Thus after about maybe 30 minutes, it went dead. I asked for a new coal. The guy takes the bowl, brings it back, gets the new coal started for us, then says: «$ 15.»
$ 15?
FIFTEEN DOLLARS FOR A COAL CHANGE?
This is the point where I literally said: «We’re done.»
The guy looked confused, so I said it again. «We’re done.»
«You don’t want it?»
NO, MUTHERFUCKER, I DO NOT.
We are in Inwood here, not midtown, not the LES, not Chelsea, not anywhere fancy. This is a neighborhood joint that serves neighborhood people. There is no reason on God’s green Earth that you should be charging $ 30 for hookah and $ 15 for a coal change.
Add to that the crappy level of service we received. I had to ask the people like 20 times if it was okay for us to come in and smoke hookah. They could not sweep a 12×12 room in 30 minutes to prepare it for, I dunno, people to come in and smoke hookah. Also, how about a menu so I can see before I order just how much you’re attempting to rip me off? And if you’re going to decide FOR ME which hookah I’m going to have, then perhaps you shouldn’t charge me $ 30 for the privilege.
This is the worst hookah place I have ever been to. Perhaps it’s on par with the other hookah places in the neighborhood. It’s clear that most of them don’t understand the point of hookah since they blare ridiculously loud music (that isn’t even the kind that should be played when smoking hookah) and have hilariously uncomfortable chairs. Perhaps this kind of shit flies with people who don’t know what hookah is, but if the clientele were to ever head down below 34^th street and happen upon something resembling a real hookah bar, they would never come back.
To sum up: this place should have remained a regular restaurant/​night spot. They should never have brought hookah into it. Because all this does is cause massive disappointment and anger. Yes, I am angry. We spent $ 50 in that place and had a terrible time. I want to go back just to berate the people except I feel like the security guard would rough me up before throwing me out. I had worried that dude was there because unsavory characters were likely to show up, but now I realize it’s to drag people out when they realize they have to pay $ 15 for a coal change.
I hope this place is sucked right into the very lowest pits of hell.