Abel 2 Counseling

I saw Dr Arden years ago and I have to agree with Ratchet’s assessment of Dr Arden’s demeanor. Luckily, my experience didn’t seem quite as bad, but he’s not far off. I never felt that she ever really listened to me when I tried to express myself and she has, in my opinion, a somewhat old-​fashioned notion of «what it means to be a man.» The advice she gives usually makes sense, but some of it came off to me as cookie-​cutter, self-​help aphorisms.
One definitely needs a somewhat thick skin to handle her sessions. On several occasions I had wished that my therapy sessions came after my time with the surrogate instead of before, because I frequently felt more anxious or even down on myself before the surrogate session, which didn’t help with my relaxation.
On the other hand, the surrogate was very patient, caring and helpful. I don’t know if there’s such a thing as a good cop/​bad cop approach to this kind of therapy, but it seemed that way at times.

There are ups and downs to this service, no pun intended. The techniques given by Dr. Arden (of Abel2 Counseling) is legit. At the time I was here, I was learning other self-​help information concerning unrelated parts of my life that meshed well with the info here.
You do not have sex with a therapist. You do a private session with a surrogate. The surrogate evaluates you and then the therapist evaluates that.
So here’s the problem: Dr. Arden is rude, condescending, and offensive. I never felt listened to by Dr. Arden. I have a heightened ability to read other people by their expressions. Dr. Arden never seemed interested in what I had to say, seemed impatient if I tried to express myself, and any praises seemed inauthentic.
I don’t believe the doctor knows she is being so rude. She comes across as very nice person. But imagine if the most arrogant know-​it-​all you know was your therapist.
First of all let me say I have a great life. I’m also very popular and extremely social and a nice guy. So think about this: it’s a huge statement to say that Dr. Arden literally almost ruined my life. Her condescending nature destroyed me so badly each week that I am EXTREMELY lucky that I had a lot of friends and a fantastic social life to keep me afloat.
Dr. Arden changed my appointment times without giving regard to my input. I protested but she wouldn’t budge, and I had to start coming to appointments at amazingly inconvenient times.
I got to a point where I couldn’t take Dr. Arden’s awful demeanor but I couldn’t bring myself to not pay the rest and get what I had come for. The reason you get to this point is you get hustled by to pay it.
Each week I did learn something new. However, it was also surrounded by condescending «therapy» and incredible misdiagnoses. I googled her and found some others had the same experience with misdiagnoses.
I wanted to quit, but would I be able to easily (key word here) find a surrogate partner who is willing to be patient with me to get over these fears I have? The surrogate was extremely helpful and patient. So I continued.
I ran into a huge problem. They stress that they have to teach you ‘sensate focus’ for the first few months to get you started. When we finally got to the actual problem I came for (performance anxiety), the therapy had run out. I took all this time and effort and money to get there and the doctor says «if you want to continue, give us more money.» THIS is quite a strange timing for the program if I do say so.
It was so difficult to deal with such a person that I came up with a lot of life-​changing sensibilities, assertiveness, dealing techniques, and etc. to get through the therapy sessions. I trained myself in dealing with difficult people because of her. That’s really pathetic, that I came up with great changes in my life to fight AGAINST a therapist.
I started asking girls out not because of her encouragement but because I knew Dr. Arden would berate me if I had not. As I dated and explained my dates, and as I made incredible breakthroughs ON MY OWN to overcoming my anxieties with positive outcomes (much of it without taking her advice), she would shoot my victories down. Any encouragement you did get seemed laced with disgust. There are always positives and negatives to dating experiences but she always focused on the negatives of your situation and then, literally, tell you in great detail how dumb you were for them. And I mean literally. She will tell you your foolish mistakes and that you aren’t a real man. Then there would be a little positive encouragement tinged with disgust and flippancy. It’s almost as if she is a misandrist.
Her excuse for this is that you need to hear the advice. Granted, it is true. She will give you advice and I must grant her this, much of the advice is good. The way she delivers it is, however, simply flat-​out offensive. After a while I was no longer scared by her, but I was offended by her sheer lack of respect of others and upset that other men were victim to her abuse.
I suppose it is up to you to decide whether or not it’s worth it. There’s no love involved here. I believe that becoming a therapist would entail having a love for helping others. Dr. Arden has no love in her heart and it’s obvious. If Dr. Arden wasn’t so hung up on herself and had a shred of a notion as to communicating in a non-​derogatory way, this therapy would be a decent idea. I believe the surrogate sessions would have worked eventually.
There are cheaper options out there that are 1000% more effective than this. I would highly recommend any dating coach in the NY area, even the ones that teach manipulative ‘outer game’. Then find a woman who’s willing to be patient with you. Most men on earth do this without therapy, you probably can, too. Don’t waste the money. It would be cheaper by a couple thousand bucks to take 2 weeks off work and go to a brothel in Nevada.
If I could give –10 stars, I would. –9 because the surrogate was good to me.