Bam Bam Bar-B-Que

Yet another place that should have no business calling what they sell «barbeque». I saw no evidence of barbeque at Bam Bam today, as this is just another place that boils their meat and slathers it in sauce before plopping it on a plate. I ordered the 4 bone plate, a medium lemonade, and a funnel cake. I was shocked when the total for my meal was $ 19.04! For $ 19.04 for a plate of food, a drink, and some fried batter, this better be some damn good barbeque!
After I placed my order, the girl behind the counter proceeded to grab some precut pork ribs and a link from a steam table and drop them in a container of BBQ sauce, then placed them on the plate. (Already, I knew I was in trouble.) Then she placed a small scoop of macaroni & cheese and a corn cobbette on the plate. (I get larger side portions at KFC.) She then asked me if I wanted the pickle and bread that came with the meal. I looked at her with a «You think I would pay $ 19.04 for a meal and not want everything that is supposed to come with it?» look.
I sat down to start eating and I just knew I was going to be disappointed, based on the smell… err, I mean lack of the smell of smoke. In my book, REAL barbeque is all about smoke. Thick, sticky, flavorful smoke, that takes hours to penetrate meat in a low temperature. Call me a barbeque snob if you want, but I DO NOT consider some boiled ribs that have been slathered in sauce to equate barbeque. On my plate, I had 3 skinny pork spareribs (which included the gristly skirt meat, which is very tough and is usually removed), and the 4^th «bone» was literally the brisket bone with all the wonderful cartilage (which is also very tough and is usually removed), I found it strange that they counted that as one of my «bones» that I paid $ 19.04 for. The macaroni & cheese was ok, and I don’t think anyone, not even this place, could screw up a previously-​frozen corn cobbette. The sides were edible, but is that really the point? The link was obviously not smoked, either. It tasted like they opened up a package of links and plopped them in some hot water on the steam table. None of the meat had any barbeque flavor, no smoke ring, and was drowned in «barbeque» sauce. The funnel cake was about half the size I normally get at an amusement park. The best part of the meal was my pink lemonade.
Too bad Unilocal won’t let me give this place Zero Stars, because that’s what I believe this place deserves. Even TC’s Rib Crib is better than this place! (And that’s saying a lot.) I ate most of my food, because I DID pay almost 20 bones for it, but I walked away feeling unsatisfied and cheated. They should really change the name of this place to «Bam Bam’s Expensive Tough Boiled Meat & Sauce», because that’s what it is. I can honestly say I will never go back to Bam Bam.