Cowboy Slim’s

Moving to Uptown this week… so last week decided I better troll the local bars and get a vibe of this part of the city.
I’m almost 32, so this review is mostly based on the fact that I felt out of place, cramped, annoyed, and dizzy at the loudness and the people. It reminded me of my first couple years in college when I just wanted to wear Abercrombie and get slammed. It must have been $ 400 jeans night because everyone’s pants sparkled… it was quite annoying. God, I’m getting old.
The place was so packed that I had to take my pulse after ordering a drink to make sure that my heart was still beating because my ears were throbbing (that last sentence made sense in my mind but I couldn’t figure out how to type it!) I’ve prided myself on not acting or feeling 31 years old but ten minutes in here made me feel like a senior citizen. Heck, it worked. Being in there made me want to drink so I didn’t feel so out of my realm.
Everyone seemed to be having fun. Somehow I parked it at the bar in a square inch of standing room but people kept ramming into me and I felt at times like I was giving piggy back rides for drunko’s to get their beers. It got to be too much eventually so I left.
What I did like was that there was good music and a good overall vibe. What I didn’t like was the ridiculous amount of people and the showboating. This is probably a great bar if you are in the binge drinking phase of your life or the ‘look at me’ phase, or you just want to get slammed with your college buddies but definitely not a place if you just want to have a relaxing drink… or if you’re near or pushing 30.

I «needed» to go to the bookstore, I hadn’t eaten lunch, and it was almost 2:30, and I already had the parking space. Mid afternoon you can have a 4 star experience. No peanut shells, douchbags, etc. I got something I haven’t seen on a menu in ages. Sloppy Joes, and they are so good, filled in a bakery bun. I swear I tasted beer. Don’t ask how I managed to get some on my upper arm. I’m glad they use rags for napkins. You get a side with this, I chose mac and cheese. It’s good if you like spicy. I was able to sit by the window, it’s pretty dark in there. Somehow Uptown and Slims have survived each other. So glad I finally went.

I almost don’t want to write a review because I think most people who have done so have gotten it pretty spot on. I’m going to do it anyway because I think it’ll be therapeutic. So here it is:
On weekends, Slim’s is the D-​bag capital of Minneapolis. If you have even an average BMI, you won’t be able to walk around much. The wait to get a poorly poured drink is enough to sober you up and on a Friday or Saturday, I assume being sober at this place is not your goal.
The bathrooms were clearly thought out by some form of moderately intelligent monkey. The men’s room has a trough and one urinal for number 1 purposes, and on more than one occasion I’ve found a female squatting in said urinal. I don’t frequent this place, so the mere fact that I’ve seen this more than once should really say something to you.
The girls are mostly unapproachable, but I can’t blame them because the quality of guys would make Jersey Shore seem like The Bachelor. That said, in general, the crowd is comprised mostly of the stereotypes that really annoy me. So take this review with that in mind.
The food’s actually pretty decent. I don’t know if they still do it, but they used to have a free taco bar during halftime of Monday Night Football.
The best time to be here is clearly not a Friday or Saturday night. You’ll probably have a much better experience under those circumstances.
Oh PS — I hate the country western theme that has been plaguing several area bars in the past few years. We are not Texas. We do not sleep with our relatives. KNOCK IT OFF.

Like, OMG!!!111 111
My review was deleted as inappropriate, so I will add a correct one instead. Cowboy Slim’s is a wonderful market of meathead doods in Ed Hardy t-​shirts. Classy drinks like über-​top-​shelf vodka mixed with Red Bull are well under $ 15 each, and there are toilet facilities for both sexes! Like, really! Service charmingly addresses us menfolk as «dude», or is it «dood»?
Anyhoo, I though it was, like, so awesome that there’s finally a place around Hennepin-​Lake for frat boys and sorority girls to hang out!!!111 111 111 111 All those artsy people at Williams intimidate me.

It’s a good go to place. The service is always good and even when it’s busy the wait for the drinks isn’t so bad.
I would say the best time for this place is about 8−9pm just before the doucheys come out.

I’ve been here twice now. once to eat after walking around lake calhoun, and last night just stopping in to find some friends before we moved on.
When it’s daytime and there are just casual diners, it’s actually not that bad. I like the décor, surprisingly, and our waitress was super nice and attentive. I remember I had the walleye bites but can’t remember what my boyfriend had. The bites were okay but really greasy. Nothing much to say about that. I think I had a summer shandy too. and our bill was decent for what we had. There is a very large patio out back but all the seats were taken. Looked like a good time though!
Last night it was a different place. Very crowded and the bathroom has only 2 stalls. The line was okay though, the girls were actually really friendly, not the total bitch types that usually frequent these places. Or maybe we are just finally growing up. Our man friend was nice enough to wait right where he said he would, and he even got a beer while he was waiting. Maybe that’s testament to the line for the toilet. We shoved our way outside and my friend and I waited right outside the patio in the parking lot for our other friends to finish their drinks. We kinda looked silly, but there was literally no room on the patio for us to stand. We didn’t stay long, but I think I would’ve enjoyed it a little more than Williams down the street.

Went for the first time, take two steps in and the following is all I could say to my friends…“damn, there’s a lot of hot girls here.”
It gets pretty packed on a saturday night but they have a couple outdoor patios and a bar on one of those. Not really any specials on weekend nights but from 3 – 6 on Saturdays they have $ 3 miller pitchers or something like that.
There’s nothing special about it but it’s a cool atmosphere and a place to hang out. I personally feel like people have been being way too harsh with the reviews.

I like Slims. I don’t love it. I just like it. I’m 25 years old. If i was 21, I think I would love it.
The good stuff? The drinks are cheap, and I like the country décor. And surprisingly enough they don’t play an abundace of country music (which i hate) so I can spend the night there without wanting to cut my ears off. They also have a great patio in the back for the summertime.
The bad stuff? It is PACKED. LIke can barely get through the crowd packed. They also have only 2 stalls in the bathroom. So ladies, don’t wait until you’re about to pee your pants to go to the bathroom. This also seems like a college-​age bar. There is an overhwelming scent of Acqua De Gio in the air, which I’m pretty sure only college guys wear. Lots of guys skeezing on chicks, fo sho. On the other hand, there are a lot of girls that seem very overdressed for such a casual bar. LIke, dresses and such. I’m sure these are the type of ladies that enjoy being skeezed on.
If you don’t mind putting up with the negatives, it can be quite enjoyable!

Friday night around 10… young crowd trying to emulate Jersey Shore, ’nuff said.
No, one more thing… the place smells like a high school boy’s locker room!

This place is great. If you want a place to cut lose, grab some drinks, and maybe even dance… this is your spot.
Convenient location with plenty of room to move.
Attention suburbanites & tools, while hanging out @ Slims on Fridays & Saturdays… keep the fights in the cars. It’s so annoying to see fights break out here. Come on, we can all get along!
Great staff, very quick & polite.
P. S.- THEY HAVE TOTS!!!

They have nice app specials and cheap pitchers for Happy hour.
I split chips and queso with a friend and had the sliders with tots for dinner. PS– how awesome is it to have TOTS!
Between splitting the beers, app and dinner I paid about $ 15 with tip. AWESOME.
While I was told the crowd can get stuffy later at night, the HH crowd was tame. Our waitress was attentive and helpful even though we took some extra time figuring out what we were going to devour (we had been looking for food for an hour and some bars wouldn’t serve… ugh).
We parked accross the street in a ramp which was under $ 5 if I recall.

I will not be returning to this place. Somehow I got dragged into going… This is not my scene and it shouldn’t be since I’m not 21. This is what you need to expect if you are going here on a Friday or a Saturday night.
1. Young crowd
2. Crowded (VERY CROWDED)
3. Douche’s
4. Overpriced Medicore beer selection
5. small outfits and graphic tees
Just sayin’…if you are anywhere near that age that any item of the list above it not quite up your alley. Skip it dawg.

Well, I am not a country fan anyways, so I already wasn’t expecting much…
We came here on a Friday night after an awesome time at happy hour at Stella’s across the street… and this place was DEAD.
Maybe we were too early… maybe it was the wrong Friday night, but other than a few drunk college guys trying to find some Advil, there was nothing happening here…

You can get your tickets to «Tool-​ville» here. Feels like a college bar… or for those who never left college. Typical «pick up» joint. Slow service. But they did play some great tunes… although very loudly.
They also have their own beer on tap — which is Shells Dark, renamed — That was cool.

«Fun Place, Bad Food»
That is why Dat Darn Cowboy is Slim, won’t eat his own food!!! But Mosey on up anyway L’il Pardner (in my Best John Wayne), cause the place has em some Prettttty Folks (some with Pretty Mouth’s, Sui, (Deliverance Reference in case ya didn’t catch that) & Darn Good Cocktails. After you chug a few, the food might even taste like Grub from a Range, Kitchen Range that is. Nrr Nrr Nrr Nrr Nrr Nrr Nrr Nrr Nrrrrrrr (OK, done with «The Deliverance References, really, out of my system for now)

Blew in here near to closing time Friday night and the crowd was drunk and rowdy. One guy drank the last of our beer and tried to sell us drugs. When I was walking to the bathroom, two dudes slapped my ass at the same time and started chanting «U-​S-​A U-​S-​A.» Frat boys making dadaist art in the club. All kinds of weird, brief interactions with strangers. Free peanuts. Pretty cheap beer. Good patio, with $ 2 slices of pizza for sale, off to the side.
Upon a second visit, my assessment of the crowd is that it’s slightly post-​college, lots of bro’s, but generally outgoing and personable. You’ll have a good time if you are open to talking with random people.
A big downside — The bathroom seems to always be crowded and there are often women using the mens room. The mens room urinal is one big trough for everyone to use.

I’m currently undecided on Cowboy Slim’s.
The first time I went with a bunch of friends and had a great time. It was a weekday and we got there around 8-​ish, so there weren’t any lines, the servers actually paid attention to us and it was just a fun, chill night.
The second, third and fourth time I went left something to be desired. Apparently if you aren’t wearing a skirt the size of a headband, and your tits aren’t partially exposed — the bouncer will not remember or acknowledge you even though you were there literally ten minutes ago.
I understand that the bar gets over-​crowded and they need to do crowd control, but when I ran down to the SA to get a pack of ciggys. and told the bouncer I would be right back, I wasn’t expecting to return to a line half way around the block and the only ones being let in were tanorexics flirting their way through the door… disgusting.
I’m guessing that if my crew sticks to weeknights we will have a good time at this bar, on the weekends however it isn’t Cowboy Slims. it’s Cowboy Skanks.

I came here twice in 1 weekend and did not get sick of this place! I had a really good time because I was with fun people and it was summer so we stayed outside the whole time. The outdoor area is pretty big for Uptown. It’s pretty fast and easy to get drinks because the waitresses come around a lot.
We came on Sun. nite before Labor Day and my stoli vodka drink was only $ 2! They have really good happy hour deals like that. This is a fun place to come for b-​days and if you have a big group. The only down side is that there’s only 2 stalls for the women’s bathroom so there is always a line — kind of annoying! I had to wait about 15 – 20 min. to get into the bar and the line can sometimes take a while. Overall, it’s a good time here!

OK. I’ve been drug here like 5 times in the past 2 months, and everytime I hope it gets better. Well, it doesn’t. There are lines everywhere. A line to get a drink, a line to the can, line in the door. If I wanted to wait in line, I’d go to Disneyworld.
Even the patio is overflowing with D-​bags, as witnessed in this months issue of VitaMN:

When asking for a vodka tonic, the booze they use is so bottom shelf, that the bartenders literally have to reach down to their ankles to grab it. Up comes a big 1.75 of Golden Eagle Vodka, which retails for about $ 8 bucks a handle. She pours a sloppy drink and says «that’s $ 5.75» and I shutter with contempt.
If you enjoy Cowboy Slims, you are deranged.

I figured most Western-​themed bars would have a mechanical bull, so what gives?
The place was pretty busy for a Sunday night, so we moseyed on out to the patio (haha see what I did there? ‘mosey’, cowboys say that; I’m hilarious). We were bombarded with rogue Columbian and Brazillian men in muscle shirts trying to swoon us with Spanish (‘Oh Dios mio’), soooo we got the heeeelll out of there.
Hey, at least the drinks were reasonable!