Cafe Sim-Sim

The place was kind of small and run-​down. Also a bit out of the way.
The décor was plain, nothing exciting.
Service was good, helpful and courteous.
The was mediocre. It tasted satisfying and left us full. We would come back here if we had to eat somewhere around that area, but I don’t see myself going out of the way to return.

I don’t think i’ve ever written a Unilocal review but i just had to this time. I’ve yet to taste the supposed delicious food here because NO ONE SPEAKS ENGLISH! I’ve tried ordering a shawarma over the phone but the girl taking my order had no idea what i was talking about even though they have a large sign outside that says «gyro/​shawarma $ 5.»
«why don’t you go in and talk to them in person?» you may be asking yourself. i have. multiple times. every time i do i end up standing there for 20 minutes with no one even bothering to come up and ask me if i need assistance. i’ve called out for people, yelled hello and still nothing. I don’t think that i will ever taste this food, which is a shame because it really does look good.
All i know about this place so far is that the service is terrible. I’ve been living in this neighborhood for 16 years and every attempt that I have made to try the food at this restaurant has failed miserably.

This place is so indescribably delightful. We arrived on a cold winter night and the place was empty. Our waitress, Natalia, told us it was her first day so she was very careful in taking our order. Her English was just adorable. She was very enthusiastic and an utter delight to behold (great expressions) and listen to. I expected from reading other reviews to have a long wait for our food but, no. Everything came relatively quickly. The baby chicken (Tabac) was juicy and well seasoned with garlic and parsley. The lamb ribs, a bit fatty which I don’t mind, were delicious and perfectly grilled. I would skip the uninteresting mashed potato’s and get the homemade french fries. Our check was quite low. They strangely added a 5% service charge but we quickly decided that Natalia deserved so much more! I look forward to going back and trying other dishes.

«We have one Five Star review on Unilocal» flashed across the screen… so cute.
Azerbaijan. Definitely not the poor man’s Turkey. Though, it must hurt the pride of the staff at Café Sim Sim to describe the food as «like Turkish», and even dedicate an entire section on their menu to the cuisine of their more illustrious neighbors. I’ve never ordered from their Turkish section, but my most recent experience reminded me of my first trip to Istanbul.
«Are you in some sort of a hurry?» asked my Turkish work colleague
«No. Why?» I inquired
«Because you’ve finished your salad in 5 minutes. I thought you had to go somewhere. You know we’re here for the next 3 hours… at least», he added with a shake of the head.
Yikes. I thought. Europeans have 35 hour work weeks AND their meals last 3 hours! Why could I have not been born in Europe??? But seriously, the new owners of Café Sim Sim need to understand that they are no longer in Europe. New Yorkers have a completely different expectation of how long it would take to be served. I placed my order at 8:50 p.m. and even the (cold) appetizers arrived after 25 minutes. The table next to me had been seated a few minutes before me. They received their hot appetizer (Kutabi: crêpe thin pancakes stuffed with meat) at 9:30 pm. In the interim I surfed the web on the iPhone. Read through the New York Times. Overheard the next table inquire at 10 pm: «Is our food coming»? Read all the new reviews for my Unilocal friends. Even skimmed through the talk threads. Finally, after 1 hour and 40 minutes: my entrée (Salmon Kebab with rice) arrived. It was 10:30 p.m., I hardly had any appetite left as it was well past dinner time. My neighbors got served at the same time, and I overheard them say, «Last time we got served early as there was no one else here». Same here. Having only visited on a weekend afternoon earlier, I had been surprised to read all the negative Unilocal reviews complaining about the lengthy delays and so decided to show up on a Friday night with the restaurant more than half full. Sadly, my worst fears were confirmed.
The operational inefficiency is really unfortunate for the food at Café Sim Sim is very good, and in fact perhaps better than some of the more storied Azerbaijani restaurants that have been profiled by Serious Eaters. The Sevruga Sturgeon Kebab are amongst the best Kebabs I’ve had lately (I had to pause and confirm that I wasn’t eating chicken instead!), while the Lyulya Kebab covered with Sumac and served with a spicy, tomato sauce are also excellent. The mushroom and potato dish may not surpass that at Pirosmani, but is cooked well. Similarly, the Eggplant salad Baku style is also completely different from either Turkish or Georgian versions, but is quite tasty and goes well with the circular, warm and chewy bread. The other «Caucasian» kebabs are competent (not memorable), and the famous cold trout appetizer with warm, boiled potatoes and dill is extremely fragrant. Finally, the Azerbaijani version of Baklava (Pakhlava) is denser than the Turkish one: less flaky, more cakey — but is pleasing in taste. It is not homemade, though.
I understand the new owners revived the restaurant after a fire destroyed the premises last year. So, even though an award for Café Sim Sim from Village Voice (in 2008) adorns the wall, I am not sure that the current owners can claim that accolade. That shouldn’t detract from the quality of food, but they do need to figure out a way to get food on the tables faster than a flight to Baku.

We went Café Sim-​Sim on Friday night. The reason why I am giving 2 stars is that we had to wait for 1 hour to get 1^st appetizer. Then another ½ for 2^nd appetizer, so on. We got there at 7:00 (waitress didn’t even take order for ½ hour too) and left there 10:45. The service was so slow that I was getting sleepy while waiting for food. There were some people left because it was taking too long. We didn’t even get the bread while we were waiting. I had to ask the waitress twice to get the bread. There was only 1 guy cooking very slowly in the kitchen. Only 1 cook on a Friday night?
The food was nice, and reasonable. We ordered 3 appetizers and 2 entrees and bill came out $ 51. Although the food was decent, I don’t want to spend my entire Friday night at the cheesy restaurant, so I’d never go back there.

I am tempted to give this place a bad review with the sole purpose of deterring the trendy hoi polloi whose best contribution to society thus far is increasing the price of rent and food in peaceful neighborhoods. Stay away!!! For the rest of you, un-​phased by loud local mustachioed men accompanied by overly coiffed women for an evening out in a place that is on par with your local deli – this place is for you! Everything is spiced to perfection, though I cannot claim to have tried the sheep balls (by balls I mean testicles) soup. Best of all, if you are on a budget, it is a BYOB. There is a wine store down the street, and the local Dominican deli had all the Eastern European beers from the books of legends. A must!

I’m flabbergasted that diners weren’t mobbing this place! We were a party of 9 and most everything we had was perfectly executed. The waitress was sweetly tolerant of our tipsy antics and helpful in pointing out the specialties on the menu: potato with mushrooms (the height of savor), divers kebabs (the sturgeon kebabs were so perfect they are still singing on my tongue two days later), cold trout with dilled potatoes and gently pickled onions (so clean tasting!), and house-​made pickles for those taking advantage of the BYOB offer (don’t ignore the tomato).
A charismatic singer serenaded us and the other party in a language that was usually not English.
OK, more about the food. You are welcomed with a loaf of warm, circular bread. Lest I sound categorically over the moon, I will say that the Georgian beans and the Greek salad were serviceable but nothing to write home about. The cardamom-​spiced baklava is unusual in its density. But back to the standouts. The lamb lulya were neither dry nor greasy, and dusted with something that may have been sumac. Whatever it was, it was a perfect complement. The kutabi with lamb was ostensibly bread-​based, but tasted so lamby; these folks know how to extract every femtomole of flavor from lamb! The kutabi with greens was no consolation prize for the herbivores – it was great in its own right. Finish with tea and blintzes and you’ll be glad you did.
The food takes a while to emerge from the kitchen, but you won’t hold it against them when you taste the output! Everything is seasoned with an expert hand.

This place is a great find if you haven’t eaten there.
As I understand it they serve Russian/​Ukrainian/​Azerbaijani region food.
The meal was very good and I generally like the place.
I enjoyed the pan fried potatoes with chanterelle mushrooms and the borscht.

slightly surprised that this place has no reviews but i’ll be glad to talk it up. this place is great for large groups and i’ve seen people bring their own drinks. the meat platters are huge and come with some form of starch. the fish with rice comes with an amazing sauce. their greek salad is one of the best i’ve ever had, it’s amazing. i’ve had a couple of different soups– the lagman and the piti really stand out. the lagman is a lot more substantial than the piti which is just broth, lamb and a few garbanzo beans. but the broth is distinct and very good. i’m a huge fan of their rice and their potatoes but i can do without their french fries. they have a potato dish topped with mushrooms that is soo good. the potatoes are crispy and delicious and the mushrooms are meaty enough to leave you very full. i’m not really a huge fan of the kutabi but tastes differ.