McDonalds

Don’t come for lunch, food becomes rushed. Not enough staff.

There are things I hate, things I loathe and then there is ‘Maccas.’
Now I’m a hardcore Mickey D’s fan. That’s the American slang for McDonalds in case you didn’t know. I had a rockin’ fifth birthday party there and I don’t like to brag, but I made the ball pit my b*itch. Ball pits… one more thing to add to the list of what ‘Maccas’ doesn’t have.
Now when I came to Perth, I was naturally a bit home sick. Without a Quizno’s or Taco Bell in sight, I walked my way to the beautiful golden arches to soothe my woes with a huge box of McNuggets and a reese’s Mcflurry. When I figured out that this so called ‘Maccas’ was a cheap imitation of the American chain, I’m pretty positive I tried to stab myself in the femural artery with one of their plastic forks.
Shame on you, ‘Maccas.’ No reese’s pieces McFlurries? No M&M McFlurries? Are you McDonalds or Satan?
Alas, I still had a box of nuggets to devour, right? Wrong. Here’s the thing about McNuggets. You either eat them with honey or you don’t eat them at all. So I asked for honey. The response to that question was, ‘I don’t understand? You want honey? We don’t have anything like that.‘
Commence mental breakdown.
I haven’t been back to a ‘Maccas’ since.
I’ve come to the conclusion that Australia just doesn’t do fast food like the Americans do fast food, but I can’t help but scrowl when everyone raves on about how delicious ‘Maccas’ is. You have no idea what you’re missing.

I hate this place. So much.
And, I know what you’re thinking… I saw you check-​in on a Thursday night around 9:30ish… I swear alcohol was not involved. I sincerely just wanted an ice cream fix. And, in the US I rarely get my ice cream fix at Mickey D’s because there are far superior places (i.e. Dairy Queen in the Hizzy!, Coldstone Creamery and Marble Slab). But, Mickey D’s still has potential… Or does it?
Come to find out even though «Macca’s» has all of the corporate markings of being a McDonalds (aside from the drive through being on the opposite side of the car), ***NEWSFLASH*** it isn’t the same as an USA-​chain by a long shot. This was my last ditch effort to prove otherwise. And, I swear, «Never again to any of the ‘Macca’s’».
Case in point… McFlurries. I get that flavors must vary all over the world. From Macca’s flavoring, I gather that there is a huge bubble gum following here? Okay. Pause. Grumble. But, what about the standard issue vanilla ice cream + candy bar. I don’t even care what candy bar. I realize Reese’s hasn’t taken off over here with the whole peanut butter debacle. But, regardless… vanilla + chocolate candy (Um. Genius!)… i.e. M&Ms. Why isn’t this an option sans a whole bunch of other yuck Macca’s wants to throw in.
Also, how is a cone 40 cents, but when you get ice cream in a cup with chocolate sauce it jumps the price to over $ 3.00? Lets do the math here. So minus cone, plus cup, plus sauce equals over $ 2.50? And, for the record the hot fudge wasn’t even hot. Blasted! And, to further note, this is called a «sundae». What is a typical «sundae»? Fruit, nuts, chocolate sauce, whip cream, cherry? Yes, all valid! When we asked for the packet of nuts (given in the US), they said «no nuts come with the sundae». Wow, you can’t spring for a nut packet and I just paid $ 2.50 for chocolate gravy?!?
Moving on.
Frappes. My love for Mickey D’s Frappé runs deep within me. I swear I would probably purchase two to three times a week back in the US of A. Yes, I am part of the problem, not the solution. B-​u-​t, again… the recipe is NOT the same here… it doesn’t even taste close. And, the flavors aren’t the same. There is a coffee flavor and a chocolate flavor. What happened to the mocha flavor… Which is… survey says… chocolate and coffee united in heavenly love!!! Um. Again. Genius!
Onto nugs… aka nuggets. I’ve been known to get a 50-​piece nugget during a super bowl party (NFL baby!). So, I know my nugs. I could easily eat a 10-​piece nugget meal with fries and an extra large soda. (As a side note, I realize that I’m sounding like a manatee.) Who are these nuggets for here? TODDLERS? My man and I ordered some chicken poppers to share. I’m sure you are laughing at this point, as we were presented with a bag as light as air. We looked into the bag expecting it to be empty. We certainly weren’t getting «full» on these poppers. It wasn’t even a food teaser, let alone a pleaser.
And, last but not least… condiments. Why is the word «condiments» a dirty word over here?!? 50 cents for a ketchup packet? Are you kidding me? So, now my man and I are super-​weirdos because we travel around with a Heinz bottle. I’ll be d*mned if I’m buying $ 5.00 in ketchup just to eat my fries. Ludicrous. Mickey D’s offers vats (yes, VATS) with a pump. Limitless pumps… I know that sounds dirty, but c’mon, it is brilliant. And, you know what it makes me do… Buy more fries!
Whew. Am I angry or what? This is my passion. Fried food. I know all of my complaints are just one more reason to not to go a fast food restaurant, live a better life, be healthy, blah blah blah… But, the truth is, maybe I don’t want those decisions made for me. If there was an actual good fast food restaurant here, I’d jump at the chance to raise my cholesterol. For now what is the point in wasting calories for this waste?

At first I had mixed reactions about this place because the locals were so against the opening of another McDonald’s in their neighbourhood, however I’m impressed with the outcome.
Everything is new and so far it doesn’t appear to have any kind of negative impact on the community. After all, who doesn’t like a spontaneous Macca’s binge once in a while.
The staff a friendly and local. The drive through service is one of the best designs that avoids those long waiting times to get your Macca’s ‘in your belly’.
The appearance at night is subdued and not so ‘in your face’, but at the same time it calmly catches your attention as you drive past.
The taste?
Well it’s Macca’s, what do you reckon?