Nando’s

It is a little known historical fact that when Moses came down from Mount Olympus to bestow the rules of God upon the populace, he actually had 11 commandments written down. The 11^th was lost because it fell out of his pocket on the way down but it simply said:
«NANDO’S»
And thus in 1987 researchers found this missing directive and Nando’s was born into a dark and boring world to fill it with beautiful radiant chicken. There was a time before Nando’s but no one can remember it because it was so miserable and lacking in flavour.
Now lets get one thing straight. Nando’s is not some overly posh Michelin star restaurant. There is no wine list. No one is going to pull your chair out for you to sit down on. There are no things on the menu in French. There are no things on the menu that don’t have the word chicken in them. But that is the point. Nando’s is simple. You don’t need a knife to eat Nando’s in fact I have no idea why they even give you access to cutlery. You should just push your face into the succulent lemon and herb meat like a horny dog.
Nando’s is just such good value for money. Half a chicken and two regular sides will fill up any mortal man and that costs around a tenner. ARE YOU FAT? Then you can have a whole chicken. A WHOLE CHICKEN. No problems. Sides? Chips and spicy rice, done. The only thing to worry about is when you get ‘that guy’ on a table in your field of view who gets bits of chicken and rice everywhere while he eats because he is a disgusting pig. It looks like someone emptying a refuge truck. Seriously, screw that guy.
So sometimes they get your order wrong but even if they do you are still going to end up with chicken in some form because that is the only thing on the menu so who cares? And yes you have to go up and order yourself, but that is how life should be. Don’t rely on someone else, you don’t deserve to be waited on. In fact you probably don’t even deserve to eat at Nando’s. And yea OK maybe sometimes there is a bit of a wait for your food to come, but you know what? Good things come to those who wait. Like the end of the Cold War.
The only thing that is bad about Nando’s is the apostrophe. Because I’ve had to type it in every time I write the word Nando’s. And when I look at it all I can think about is Nando’s what? NANDO’S WHAT?! That is literally the only thing bad about Nando’s. Aside from the fact that once you have had a Nando’s you normally can’t have another one for an hour or so without being violently sick. Why are you still reading this? GO TO NANDOS.

Yet another Nando’s, except they saved on the decoration in this one. They got the local kindergarten to paint picture squares, and they hung them all up against the back wall like wallpaper.
That lapse in judgement aside, it’s great to have a Nando’s in town!
Take-​away service exists and is incredibly fast. I barely have to wait maybe 2 – 3 minutes for my lunch whenever I come here. It’s impressive!
The dining area isn’t very well lit, or spacious, and in the later evening (8pm?) when it gets a bit more crowded, the chatter echoes off the walls and low ceiling to create one chaotic (and loud) atmosphere.
Aside from that, it’s a nice Nando’s with the usual yummy chicken, friendly have you eaten at nando’s before? staff, and wooden tables.
Now that the weather’s improved, they have put tables outside, walled off from the street by large rectangular flowerpots. It’d make a divine place to have an early dinner, were it not oriented to the North-​East (it doesn’t get any sun in the afternoon, and is a bit windy)

It’s just a Nando’s like any other, but it does have a rather great wall that is completely covered with apparently hand-​made beaded and painted images, mostly of people, each about 2020 cm. It’s quite impressive. There’s also quite extensive outdoor seating, which is heated and has sun shades and lots of plants.
The staff are very cheerful, and clearly enthusiastic about promoting their restaurant, which seems to have been largely overlooked; it’s rarely full and last time my waitress said that they’ll be running some promotional events at some point in the near future. The toilets are very clean and well-​equipped, although they are quite a walk away down some steps.
Don’t forget to take your Nando’s loyalty card!