The Lensbury

I found myself in the Lensbury Hotel for a work off-​site a few weeks ago. The website looked pretty posh and I was excited about the trip although a little less so at the thought of sacrificing an entire weekend. Still, it had a pool, decent gym, and the activities sounded like a blast.
Let’s start with the hotel. The rooms on offer range from an extra wide single to some luxurious looking suites. Naturally, the company went with the cheapest option (the single) so luxury wasn’t in the cards. The room was small and a bit tight with the bed and desk taking up virtually all the floor space and the towel rack being uncomfortably close while you are perched on the throne in the bathroom. For c£90/night, it’s a bit over priced despite the area as it would take you about 30 – 40 mins by train to get into London.
In general, it seemed clean enough (there was a mysterious stain on the edge of the bathtub which I chose to ignore) and comfortable enough that I didn’t have any issues falling asleep other than the fact it was bloody hot unless the window was open. I’m a bit of a whiner here as I like my posh hotels and just expect a tad more when it’s on the company’s dime.
Foodwise, the restaurant put on a decent but not inspiring spread with standard British classics and some Modern European fare. The chef did try to put on a bit of creative twist but went a little off the rails. For example, there was a pan-​seared sea bass (good), on a bed of mushroom risotto (makes sense), with salsa roja (wtf?). We were in Europe with a taste of Italy and all of the sudden end up in Mexico. The description alone started to sour the idea of the dish and by all accounts the «salsa roja» was the one item that ruined it. Morale of the story: stick with the simple stuff (pork belly was excellent) and avoid the creative elements!
Desserts could have used some work and not once was there a chocolate option. For someone who doesn’t consider anything without chocolate to be a dessert, it was highly disappointing! There is an ice cream section in the main bar area which I suppose could work (Haagen Daz mainly) but not for the restaurant.
Other foodish things — breakfast is a full fry up buffet although there are some cereal and salad options for the lighter choice. The bar stays open till about midnight but there is nothing else around so you’d think they’d keep it going till people started to leave!
The second part of this review is about the facilities. We were taken care of by a great team which led us through raft building (and paddling), retro sports (remember egg & spoon races, hula hooping, and relay races?), and let us go kayaking on the river to our hearts content. Top notch job and they really made the activities fun and entertaining as well as involving everyone more or less safely.
The gym is quite large with a substantial number of machines and free weights — enough in fact to rival some of the smaller London Fitness First gyms. The pool is also good at 25m but is typically filled with kids except for early morning and late evening when it’s set aside for lap swimming.
Overall, a decent medium-​level hotel (I’d say about 3 stars) within striking distance of London and right next to Richmond Park. I’d keep it in mind if I had a lot of family visiting London and needed to put them up somewhere but not if I wanted to treat myself and a special someone to a weekend getaway. For that, splurge on the Ritz!

I just love this place, they made the room availble by 11am, was upgraded to one of their superior suites, spent a relaxing 3 hours in their very well equipped fitness centre, finishing off with swim in their very clean and warm pool, followed by a sauna and steam session. Energy replacement courtesy of fresh fruit juices and home-​made yoghurt, honey and granola.
PS: did I say I loved this place!