Istanbul Express

You know how, sometimes, you want to eat caviar out of a Manolo whilst Thierry Henry pours you some champagne. Yeah? Well, then there are those other times. The darker times. The secret times. The times when you say in a small voice «donerwithchipsplease», and then scurry home with your spoils. At times like these, you could do worse than Istanbul. With tasty, meaty kebabs that are a far cry from the grey mystery meat from Ahmed’s risible chain, and really decent portions for bargainous prices. Expect to be drunkenly fishing out about £3.50 in change for your kebab.
And, hey, if you needed any more persuading, I can happily tell you that Our Saint and Saviour Kerry Katona was recently photographed buying a kebab from this very establishment. So, you know, that’s a mark of quality right there, right?

This Turkish (no, no really its Turkish) takeaway in the gay village is small but perfectly formed. Its clean, no one wanted to sit down anyway and the prices are reasonable for this type of food: i.e. cheap.
Istanbul’s kebabs are above average most of the time and taste blooming brilliant after a night out, that I can tell you. I’ve never actually been to Turkey: this place can’t exactly be poor publicity for the city whose name they take? It does what it set out to do, and I like a sense of purpose in a business.