The Kentish Drovers

Wetherspoons in Peckham. What more do you need to know?
It’s cheap and it’s not pretty but it does the job. I tend to think Wetherspoons fit into two categories; old man pub or bareable. This is an old man pub that has been infiltrated by young trendys. It’s not a place I would want to spend every Friday night, but towards the end of the month when I’m skint it does the job!

It’s a JD Wetherspoon’s. In Peckham. It’s unlikely you’ll need more information than this on which to base a decision, but if you share my odd and masochistic fondness for Wetherspoon pubs, read on.
The thing about Wetherspoon’s was that it used to be a bargain to eat and drink. Now it’s only a bargain to drink in. The food prices have gone up and up, and the quality has remained pretty much the same. So everyone in there is as drunk as they ever were, but not eating much. Which can be nothing, a shame, or downright unsettling.
It’s rare to approach to the Drovers without catching sight of a local of pensionable age tripping either up or down the steps trying to enter or leave, while their companion screeches at them to sawt it fackin’ ahhht. I’ve been there once where a pair of white-​haired gents squared up to each other in drunken fisticuffs, but they were so ancient, doddery and clearly inebriated that everyone found this rather endearing, like Mr Burns fighting Grandpa Simpson.
It’s not all bad. Some of the OAPs in there are genuinely charming. I spent a delightful afternoon with one who claimed to be a Freemason and could quote huge swathes of the bible. Lovely chap, very dapper. Raging alcoholic.
Far worse than the pensioners (bar a few notorious exceptions), are the kids. Many parents in this area have no interest in controlling or discipling the fruit of their loins. I’ve been the subject of a vicious and unprovoked balloon-​pummelling by a small but energetic young lad while I was trying to have a quiet cider. Whether you choose to venture into the family area is a matter of judging the place as a whole when you walk in, then picking the lesser of two evils.
There are also a number of people always smoking in the small beer garden, especially in summer. I’m no expert, but the roll-​ups favoured there look quite large and smell quite fragrant. Perhaps there’s a cheap tobacco vendor nearby.
I almost always go to the Drovers alone — for me it’s that kind of place — but in term time it has its fair share of student groups. In any case, there are far better watering holes close by. If you find yourself in Peckham, seek out The Bun House just down the road.
The Kentish Drovers is, happily, not The Worst Wetherspoon’s in South London. That triumph against sense and decency belongs to The Rockingham Arms at Elephant and Castle.