Chakalaka South African Restaurant

Absolutely pathetic, dreadful, run down, with a yobbo mentality within the same working space, this half pub half restaurant just does not work, the area is run down and depressing as was the food and the general mentality of the kitchen. When something doesn’t work, close it down do not embarrass yourself. There was no fresh produce to be found, everything was frozen and much was made off the premises or bought in from Iceland, utter crappy prebreaded frozen calamari, outrageously overcooked rice, an utter sham. There was however one saving grace, an Aussie girl far too good to be working there, with no back up whatsoever. Snap her up for your business and you shall thrive, she is deserving of being rescued. STAY WELL AWAY

I am really confused.
Just prior to posting this review I did a little research on this chain, read some other reviews, and then sat back and marvelled at how utterly inconsistent these South African eateries have managed to become. Either praises or curses, no real middle ground, either full-​on or badly off.
That said I dearly wish I could have been giving 5 stars, but sadly cannot, with a good conscience give it any, well OK only one.
A friend took me there for a treat on Saturday 27^th Aug 11.
It was awful. I’m no foodie and have a high tolerance to most things but this place took the biscuit.
Don’t think Wimbledon Village when you go there if indeed you do after this review. This place is in the dodgy neck of the woods parked up on the left hand side of a pub called the Horse & Groom. It was more than a little raucous that night detracting from any ‘potential’ atmosphere. The lighting inside was way too low — maybe for a good reason?
Starters on offer were three for just under £10 which is pretty good value if the food is OK — it wasn’t.
I had Couscous, with Pita, that rather than being nicely sliced into strips was just hacked into three lumps, Prawns in filo with sweet chilli sauce (possible from ASDA’s) and Olives — something that thankfully can’t really be messed up.
These were OK but the Seafood Platter I ordered for a main was a total disaster.
Consisting of white fish, not sure what it was but it tasted bland, Char Grilled Prawns (with traces of charcoal to add to the flavour) deep fried Calamari in batter (these were appalling, the batter falling off instead of golden and crispy and the Calamari chewy) (roast?) potatoes which were cooked as if the chef couldn’t make his/​her mind up either to roast or boil them, and finally sticky rice that was overcooked, and then just to inflict a mortal culinary wound warmed up again.
My friend didn’t fare much better with his starter which was meant to have a dressing on it but didn’t. The salad being dry and stale, so it really needed it.
We didn’t bother with desert.
The sad thing about this place if that it seems on other review sites to get mixed reviews either very good or very crap. And if you’re wondering why we went to an SA restaurant and didn’t eat any of their classic dishes it’s because a large section of the traditional menu wasn’t available.
The only redeeming feature were the waitresses (long suffering by the sound of it) who were quite embarrassed by the whole thing and who informed us that from 28^th Aug (11) there would be a couple of new chefs. Let’s hope they inject some life and good cooking into this dismal operation or it’ll be out of business in less than a month.
On the way out my friend polled a few people to see what their opinion was, included a couple of girls from Cape Town who grudgingly gave it 1 and 2 out of 10.
This was probably my worst meal ever — very sad.
I really hope this place has its gastronomic bottom kicked hard (and fast).