The Tanning Shop

I don’t tan, I come out in a rash.
As such, I tend to avoid too much sunlight, and as a result I am about 10 shades whiter than a ghost. It’s all true. You can see my veins.
In any event, a very important day is coming up in a week or so, and as a result, I thought it would be jolly if I had a healthy glow, and hoped that some exposure to UV rays would stop me rashing away whilst on the extra special holiday (my honeymoon to the classy costa del sol!)
I decided to visit The Tanning Shop as it’s a nationwide chain, and I didnt fancy going into one of the un-​manned, coin operated sun booth shops (such as those places which have appeared on the news, having cooked a couple of naïve teenagers).
I was greeted by a reasonably friendly girl, who exuded a healthy orange glow. I had to fill out a questionnaire to deduce my skin type, and so that she could recommend the best sun bed for me. As it turned out, the best sun bed for me was the Sun Angel. The most expensive one. To be fair, it is rather swish. The sun bed has a comfort cooling system, and adjustable face and body fans. It also has a a aromatherapy mist that spurts out every couple of minutes to make you extra cool and refreshed. There is also a very loud, aggressive voice guide which starts to grate after a while, but for those with poor vision, is very useful indeed (i don’t wear my glasses on the sunbed, in case they channel the UV rays and burn me like an ant).
Anyway. After two trips to the Sun Angel, I visited again on Tuesday. I burst in the door and said, ‘I’m getting married next week. I need to be brown. I have been on the sun bed twice. Why am I not brown?’ The orange girl tutted, and explained I needed a couple more sessions, as two really wasnt enough. I ended up buying 5 sessions for £40, which saves you £10, and after my 3^rd baking session, I can really notice a difference.
Although the Tanning Shop is not the cheapest venue, at least it is manned by friendly, helpful staff, who do have some idea of what they’re talking about, so it is perfect for those who have had no experience of non-​sun-​bathing. Hurray for me, and hurray for my day-​glo skin!