Smyths Traditional Fish & Chips

This place used to be great and had the nicest fish and chips around, but lately when we visited it hasn’t been great — I’m not sure if somebody else has taken it over or what. The food we’ve got recently seemed to be food that that been lying around for a long time or reheated. It’s a shame as it was so good before.

I seem to be appraising local fast food joints with the regularity of a dodgy Build-​a-​burger review appearing on Unilocal,this is due more to my lack of get up and go these days than any lack of cooking ability, but for a change I decided to forgo my usual chinese-​kebab and opt for a traditional chippy tea.
Someone recommended Smyths a while back and I decided to give them a try, first impressions, from a distance were good, seats outside and seats inside, however the outside seating was occupied by a group of those horrible feral brats that you just want to slap who weren’t actually eating anything and inside was equally packed by people sitting, also not eating. Inside we joined the queue and placed our order, the Jeremy Kyle guest ahead of us had her brat with her, who was joined by one of the brats from outside, who proceeded to start beating the crap out of each other.
«Jay-​zee, will you fack aff?» opined the victims mother, «Will you tell him to piss off» replied Jaz-​zee as he landed a good right hook to his victim’s jaw. Presumably the sight of her son getting a hiding is normal to super-​mum as she turned away and started sucking on a carton of sukie. The fight was joined by another kid from the seated area and it continued outside to the noise of the sukie carton getting sucked flat. I reached for my phone to video the mêlée and was surprised to find this had happened inside 2 minutes of getting there. After what seemed a very long wait, we got our food and like Jay-​zee, «facked aff» home.
Oh dear, the food was not good, admittedly they poor girls working were flat out, but seriously, I wasn’t impressed, wafer thin burnt batter that just fell off, greasy chips and what seemed like a mere teaspoon of curry sauce. I’d truly like to go back some day when they were less rushed and without the trainee spide population of East Belfast being in attendance, just to see if it gets better, but as it is, I wouldn’t be in a rush to recommend it myself.

This chippy is the best in East Belfast, in fact, i’d say the best in Belfast. The staff are friendly, the fish is gorgeous and the portions are great! The owners are usually always there and they get stuck in among the staff, great to see. I’d walk miles for the fish here!