Oasis Cafe

I’ll have to go with Mr. K on this one, a definite pass. There are three other hookah lounges all within a half mile of Oasis and they are all worlds better than this one. Go to Urban Café or even King Tuts, just anywhere but here.
The food is mediocre, nothing stood out one way or the other. The music was a little annoying, but I’m not really into pop music or hip-​hop, but I suppose people who are would enjoy it. However, the service is absolutely terrible. I’ve been there twice and on both occasions the (extremely late) delivery of food saved me from walking out the door. Their hookahs are not good, and you practically have to tackle an employee if you want more coals.
Save yourself the frustration and go to Urban Café or King Tuts. Urban is a bit more for the mediterranean loving, less-​frills crowd. Tuts if you still like your hip-​hop and being surrounded by ASU students.

I didn’t know what the hell to make of Oasis. All I know is that I won’t be back and if a friend wants Middle Eastern food I wouldn’t tell them to come here. The food was fine but Mr K pretty much sums up why the rest of it makes no sense. The contrast between the website and the place is pretty shocking.

This place is an old favorite of mine. Maybe I haven’t been to enough hookah joint, but I appreciate the smoke, food and dancing.
I think Mr. K is tripping saying that he can’t tolerate 19 year olds or Ja Rule. Ja isn’t my favorite either, but come on Bee, are you that old and crotchety that you can’t stand a bit of loud music? If that’s the case why don’t you get the 30-​somethings at work to chip in and rent a conference room at the holiday inn and rent a hookah for the day.
Alternatively, if you are really tripping about Ja Rule that much you should quit whatever job you have and go and work for Interscope, (Tony Yayo is gettin gold). I mean, really! Plus a Duran Duran reference, really?!

WHO THE EFF PLAYS MOTHER-​EFFING JA RULE WHILE I’M TRYING TO EAT MY MOTHER-​EFFING HUMMUS?
Yeah, this joint totally brings out the ghetto-​yet-​still-​self-​censoring brown man in me.
All I can say is Oasis Café was a let down of insanely massive proportions. I remember wanting to go here early last year when it was at its old location on Apache, where I looked in once on a Friday night as I was leaving Café Istanbul and saw Moroccan drummers going at it and everyone clapping and dancing. «Awesome,» I thought, «Must check this place out!»
Well, the time had finally come, almost 2 years later. Even had another friend meet me there to check it out. Except no Moroccan drummers in sight. Decent looking place inside for the most part — trying to replicate Middle Eastern lounge style, even though the big screen TV was a little distracting (albeit showing Arabic pop videos).
However, it became very apparent that Oasis Café’s core clientele wasn’t going to be thirty-​something people looking for a great meal to eat, but forlorn 19-​year olds wanting to sit back and ponder their Gen Y existence while blowing strawberry scented puffs of hookah smoke. And still, I didn’t mind this — I understand what the local Tempe market is supposed to be like (all hookahs, all the time), but that doesn’t excuse Oasis Café from:
1) FOOD. Dry chicken shawarma and thin, just-​there hummus. I ate my food and didn’t think much of it one way or another. The zaatar (thyme/​oregano/​sesame) pita for appetizer was good, but there’s really no way to screw that up. Given how much attention they put into their website, you’d think that would transfer over to their food, but this was not the case. Haji Baba will give you way more food for about the same quality for $ 4 less.
That made me a little upset, but not as upset as the…
2) MUSIC.
Ja Rule.
Are you kidding me? No seriously, are you kidding me? Who the hell plays Ja Rule in 2007? Actually, establishments should be shut down for playing Ja Rule no matter what year it is. This was a really sad case of the owners thinking, «Everyone in here is 19. Let’s play hip-​hop and R&B REALLY, REALLY LOUD because that’s what they obviously want. They’re practically clamoring for it. Look at them. Pining for Akon in that cloud of smoke.» And so we heard a rare Arabic pop song at regular volume but were mostly subjected to the aforementioned MOTHER EFFING JA RULE and Fiddy and Rihanna and all of them at maximum volume. Or actually way past maximum volume for a restaurant. The music choice just didn’t make any sense. Here we were trying to eat Middle Eastern food, several others were just chilling with their hookahs (even though they were 19) — so what mandated «In Da Club» at 5000 decibels? It’s Sunday night. No one’s dancing. Everyone’s mellowed out. I don’t get it.
Our server was nice and courteous, I’ll give him that, but overall the place was not one I’m going to head back to anytime soon. I’m really bummed about that fact and that I’m only giving it two stars, because I had such high hopes for it, but man, Ja Rule. That just kills me. However, at least they didn’t play that song he did with JLo, because I would have caused some serious but not-​so-​threatening damage, like knocking over my table a la «Hungry Like The Wolf» video or something.
Bah.