La Playa

It seems this place no longer exists. Went to their website (
) and found the number listed disconnected.
Also, last visible website update was from July 12^th 2008

La Playa is the real reason why Long Islander’s have this whole «rich snob» image surrounding them. Nestled next to a Hess Station is an old auto shop turned bar (imagine the transformation). As you exit your vehicle you have the luxury of paying some 16 year old $ 20 to valet park your car two feet away from you in a gravel parking lot. Six foot stockade fences lead you into a cashier where you pay a $ 20 entrance fee. $ 40 bucks and I haven’t had a damn drink yet!
And then we enter La Playa– or the beach from its Mexican to English translation. And yes, this really is an old garage which they have hung sheer fabric from the rafters and put cheap wood floors down. The music was good for 30 seconds, until the DJ changed the song. Once in a while you’d hear a good song and just as the first verse was over; the DJ had changed it to some techno shit. This went on the ENTIRE night! The DJ lives in his balcony in the back of the place where it’s so loud, it’s damn near impossible to give your drink order to the bartender. Which after you pay $ 12 for your beer, you think to yourself, for $ 52 bucks I could have went to Applebee’s, scored some half price appetizers and some two-fer’s, paid for my date and myself and maybe gotten lucky.
Because NY doesn’t allow smoking inside bars (thank god), wannabe «Hamptonites» can go outside to the second bar and continue the party. For even more money (I didn’t even ask how much) you can rent a bed with a private sheet and be off your feet for the rest of the night and enjoy Belvedere brought to you by 18 year old scantily dressed, bleached and fake tanned bimbos. I can only imagine when the last time those beds were cleaned and what liquids were living on it. We spent most of our night outside to get away from the loud music and made fun of the girls who were crying, screaming on their phones and making out with random guys with pink polo’s and popped collars.
Now where I’m from, jeans and a nice shirt will pretty much do for where ever you go. Sometimes my girlfriend and her friends put on a fancy shirt they just scored and some heels, but for the most part, we’re simple and laid back. At La Playa it’s prom night 1993 all over again. These girls stroll in wearing metallic, shimmering and mostly too tight dresses, platform high heels and a bag just big enough to hold their credit card, cigarettes and iPhone. Who am I kidding, these girls don’t pay for their drinks, and they have other pleasing things to smoke besides their Virginia Slims.
And let’s not forget about the bathrooms. This place didn’t even have indoor bathrooms. If you had to go, you went in the trailer located at the entrance of the place. I don’t understand how you can charge outrageous prices but not have an indoor bathroom. It’s clear the owners are in this business just for the profit.
We went here for a friend’s 24^th birthday, because we had never been to the «Hamptons scene» to party. Now we know why. This place definitely tops the «never go to this shit hole again» list.
Shout outs to all the retards out there rocking those shit eating blow outs… this is probably the place for you.