Hong Kong Express Cafe

This place has the cheapest food of everywhere I know in the city and also supplies a high quantity. It however wins the accolade of most appalling restaurant I have ever been to. Pigeons fly in and out all the time. Cardboard is laid on the floor which leads to the path of food. I usually do not like to judge the people that are in the restaurant but 90% of the people are homeless and I am sure they would give this 5 stars any day. I have seen cockroaches on the side of the walls and when I take a bite into my own food I think about eating that very cockroach. If you are the biggest thrifty saver I would go here everyday that is if you don’t care about quality.

I recently took a trip to alcatraz, and the interior of the old prison greatly reminded me of some place, but was cleaner… where was it… where was. OH YEAH! That dingy chinese place on mission! I’ve had food from here (a friend brought it and shared it. I didn’t know it came from here, or I probably wouldn’t have eaten it), and to be honest, the taste wasn’t bad (though, it made my friend sick). THAT is why it gets a star (not to mention, I can’t rate it any lower).
Everything else in here is nightmarish. When I walk by, I’m pretty sure I hear the sound of hundreds of kidnapped kitties, shoved into some dark closet, awaiting the slaughter. If that is the case, the creepy clientele wouldn’t mind. I have no Idea where they find the inmates who frequent this place, but it feels like the perfect place to get shot (then they’d fry you and cook you up into their broccoli «beef»). Seriously. It’s creepy, and, bottom line, I just don’t trust this place. If you want cheap chinese food, go down a block to Wan Kee. It’s more like a restaurant, less like an asylum.

I may be the only reviewer that has eaten at this place more than once. I actually have been eating here for over a year.
You have to compare apples to apples and call a spade a spade.
Yes, this is a dingy, unappealing «restaurant», with homeless people and the occasional pigeon. You can also get tons of food for $ 4.50. What do you expect?
I am personally glad there is some place where I can get a greasy chinese dish for $ 1.50. You can go down street to Lung Shan and get the same thing with a side of plain white rice and they charge you $ 7.50!
To everyone that thinks this place should be shut down, I say– No one is making you eat here. To say that all food should be at least $ 8 discriminates against poor people. That’s how gentrification works.
If you don’t like it, don’t eat there. Get out of the mission and go to a neighborhood where everything is sanitized, clean, white and safe.
I am not defending the food. Its cheap and dirty. But I am glad this place exists and I will continue eating there. The people are friendly.
If all you have is a buck fifty in your pocket, you’re tired of tacos, and you really want some sesame chicken. Go here!
PS– though it looks like its beneath health code, I have never been sick from eating here in the 2 dozen times I have been.

Heinous! the only reason this place has two stars is because of the hilarious reviewer that wrote the cat story and gave it five stars. But, hey, that was funny.
This place is frightening. It’s lost in time as one of those places the health department hasn’t seen in decades. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had the body of a health inspector, last seen in ’93, in the deep freezer in back. The pigeons and the homeless and the random coworker/​family member sitting in the cold prison cafeteria of a dining room. The space is not small for a craphole. I’ve seen much nicer restaurants that have much fewer square feet to bark about. HKEC manages to keep every one of their square inches covered in filth.
The people who serve you look semi clean and I try not to make eye contact with his finger nails as he hands me my food. I did that once…
You feel like you are about to be shot or like you’re about to get Tetanus from the counter.
HOWEVER, their fried rice keeps me coming back. It’s just pretty good but it’s only $ 1.50 for a pint of pork fried rice that I can pour Sirachi and soy sauce all over and choke down in my pot induced haze.
The other entrees always do a great job of LOOKING tasty, and fresh and appetizing when in reality, they NEVER are. I mean never. The fried stuff is all batter. the sautéed stuff is all greasy, and everything else just seems to taste mysteriously «off» to me.
I have a love hate relationship with this place. I hate errything about it except the price [everything really, actually, honestly is $ 1.50/pint] and the convenience. It’s point-​to-​what-​you-​want and I like that. The service is let’s say, limited. and they kind of look at you crazy which I think is kind of funny considering the place itself.
All in all: Friggin Scary as HELL.
Attire: Homeless Crack Fiend

this place is, hands down, the most disgusting eating establishment I’ve ever witnessed. to be honest, I’ve never actually eaten here; I’m saving that for when I need a raging case of bloody diarrhea to get a nice long disability leave from my job someday.
I do, however, walk by and look inside on a daily basis. why the department of public health allows this place to operate mystifies me. every square inch of the doors, windows, tables, and floors is filthy and covered with graffiti. pigeons and other urban wildlife roost and shit inside. drug sales are flagrant.
every time I walk by, I fantasize about taking a rag or mop to this place; it would be so easy to just wipe off a layer of filth from a surface and make this place look at least a little more decent. however, the owners clearly do not give a shit about anything as long as there’s a few suckers willing to throw down a buck for a plate of questionable food and an easy cover for drug purchases.
hell on earth.

I went to the animal shelter with my friend who wanted to adopt a cat.
After meeting all the cats she was faced with the dilemma of choosing between two equally charming candidates.
i tried to lighten her burden by assuring her that whichever cat she chose to leave behind would surely find a nice home with someone else.
All the while I knew one of these cats was going to end up on some hobo’s plate at Hong Kong Express Café.

I needed a small bite to eat for a small amount of money. I was lured in by their $ 1.50 a plate sign.
And it’s pretty obvious why they’ll give you a huge portion for $ 1.50. I should have known before.
As much as I try to eat locally, seasonally, and sustainably, etc., I can still tolerate places that don’t do any of that. I’ll eat out of season inorganic vegetables from different countries and factory-​farmed meat. Ultimately, what matters is if it tastes delicious.
When a restaurant uses pre-​cut frozen vegetables though, I start to draw the line. That’s just being cheap and lazy. But what really pissed me off was raw onions in my chow mein. How hard is it to sauté a f’ing onion?
Despite the Mission’s love of cheap eats, there’s a good reason why this place is empty all the time despite the ability to get a meal for $ 1.50.

BEFORE I GO ON I NEED TO SAY that the food here ISN’T necessarily BAD (don’t get me wrong).
I must say, though, that it basically sucks.
*THAT’S NOT THE WORST THING ABOUT THIS PLACE, THOUGH*
I’ve eaten here probably 6 – 7 times over the last year (I went through a «I’m only going to eat really cheap food phase»), but the last time is what pushed me over the edge.
You walk by this place and your first thought is, «Is this place actually a business or just a vacant lot??» but as you pass the door you see there’s activity lurking within.. .. .. .. .
Filth.
Grime.
Pigeons.
More Filth.
Dirt.
Crackheads.
You order your food from the person on the other side of the food lineup ($ 1.50 or so per box) and if you’re nervy you dine-​in.
I’m nervy.
Weirdos/​hobos don’t scare me.
Shady drug deals going down are not something I’m a fan of, though.
The last time I was stomaching their nastiness to save a buck or two, I counted 4 drug transactions from the same vato, who kept coming in and sitting at the table closest to the door and meeting with his crackhead customers one-​at-​a-​time.
It was bad.
The people who worked there didn’t seem to care at all.
(Maybe they don’t complain out of fear, but still, wtf!!!)
Oh, and two (2), I repeat TWO! different crazy old ladies harassed my friend and I, the first accusing us of plotting to kill her, and the other asking if my friend was her son. Both were clearly %@$!ed up. W.T.F.
Yeah, I hate to say it but, so long and thanks for all the diseases!
This place should be condemned.
P. S. The one star is for never getting sick from their food (and cause it won’t let you put 0 stars!)

I came in right after a pigeon walked in. I thought that if birds came in here, then humans can come in too. I say hello to the guy behind me waiting, who needs a desperation shower; he responds «Muthafuja wichu wiji maji crak.» He smiles, indicating he meant good with his babble. I smile back.
I order. I sit. I eat.
Another bird comes in. This time, it flies in. Ends up it just wanted to perch on top of a cabinet.
I finish my meal. I go home. I go to the bathroom.
«Man. That place really sucks.»

damn what i will do to get another first to review. i am surprised i am the first. walking by this place just makes one want to run home and see what others have to say about it. i did and nobody reviewed it. so a few days later i thought i would risk my health to give it a fair shot and ate lunch there. last time i’m thinking unless i’m drunk and nothing else is open.
okay all you homeless crack heads with internet searching up a cheap place to eat. this is the place for you. you get what you pay for though in quality but the quantity is there. $ 1.30 a plate.
i got sesame chicken, kung pao chicken, fried rice, and a diet coke for the low price of $ 4.65. now i’m hoping i don’t get sick. the sesame chicken was cold and hard. the poor example of kung pao chicken was kinda warm but didn’t have much flavor or chicken. now that i’m thinking of it i’m not sure the sesame chicken had much chicken either. just cold hard crunchy bites. the fried rice was just kinda warm fried rice with little meat bits, egg, and a few bits of bagged carrots.
i thought about 1 starring this place but it filled me up and if i don’t end up catching campylobacter or some shit it can stay at 2 for the value. check out the pic’s