Bro

Yes. Yes I do.
Why the hell won’t Unilocal let me post a short review? Here Unilocal.Is that enough to actually click on «Post Review»?
All these freaking rules…

I don’t know who this Bro person is, but what I do know is that he’s a great story teller. Everyone is always saying how cool his stories are.

Dallas Cowboys: BROny BROmo, Terrell BROwens
Raiders: Jamarcus BROssel; Michael BROsh
Niners: JT BRO’sullivan, BROnon Davis
Dodgers: Manny BROmariez
Mets: Frankie BROdiguez
Yankee: Alex BROdiguez

You may ask, «What’s a Bro?» Below is a checklist to confirm Bro-​ness…
(1) Does he have a faux-hawk…or what Bros like to call, a BRO-​hawk?
(2) Is he wearing something by the «Official Outfitter» of D-​Bags everywhere, TapOut or Affliction?
(3) Is he wearing a wristband of some sort at a local drinking establishment?
(4) Is he a firm believer of the following weightlifting mantras?
* «Curls for the girls.»
* «Just arms and shoulders.»
(5) Does he consume Bro-​tein shakes every day?
(6) Is he using the word «bro» in every sentence?
If you answered yes to at least two of the six above questions, you are dealing with a Bro. When spoken to by a Bro, do not be afraid. Do not avoid eye contact. Answer with as many «Bro’s» as you can in your response, and you will assimilate right in…

Very true, Brohan. Or should I call you Brosef?

I’m not your bro, bra.

I am not your bro. I have a brother, and you are not him. Ergo, don’t call me bro, fella.
You can tell that I am not your bro just by looking at me. Am I wearing a ribbed wife-​beater t-​shirt in public? Am I wearing an upside-​down visor? Do I have one of those white seashell necklaces? Do any of my clothes say «AF» on them? Am I wearing flip-​flops in a non-​beach setting? Do I have a barbed wire tattoo? The answer to these questions is a resounding «no.» And therefore, you can tell I am not your bro.
Furthermore, I do not want to be your bro. One brother is enough. Indeed, I don’t get to see my actual brother as much as I’d like, so there’s no need for me to add to my brother collection. Plus, it is clear that you and I are different people. For example, I don’t have crabs. So clearly, our relationship will not work.
You can call me by my name. By my last name. Call me fella, or guy. Call me sir, since I am clearly your social better. But if you call me bro, I will be forced to rain vengeance down upon you.
Just don’t do it.