Clear Moon

Nestled in the posh suburban enclave of Burlingame,* California was Amber Moon, a Unilocal-​approved institution populated by at least 50% Indian patrons. This was a good sign. The basketball on TV (what? No Bollywood?!) and the floor tiles that had evidently been installed on the ceiling were a tad disconcerting, but our hopes were high.
It was unlike anything we had seen in the typical seedy Berkeley establishment: the interior was literally antiseptic, there was a classy looking full bar replete with multiple beer taps, and the serving dishes were beautiful. But upon further examination, the sanitarium-​like atmosphere became overwhelming: there was no art on the walls, and only a precious few decorative vases and sculptures sprinkled about. The bathroom was clean… very clean… TOO clean… kind of like your grandmother’s bathroom. And there was one light… a single light… like the Sun… a naked, unresolved halogen fount of luminescence… Is this the only light in the restaurant? Our heads began to spin… vertigo set in…
Anyway, the food! Yes, the food. The papadum wasn’t free ($ 2), but luckily was toasty and pleasantly salted. The mango lassi had impressive viscosity, the samosas ($ 5) were filled with a wonderfully spicy purée, and the pakora, while a little cold, was otherwise excellent. Neither the mango chutney nor the pickle were free, either (each $ 2), but again, both were tasty: tangy, salty, sour, and spicy.
As for the mains, the narial chicken ($ 14) was nice & creamy, with pleasant essence of coconut. But things went downhill from there… the lamb vindaloo ($ 14) had good meat and potatoes, but had sauce with negative taste. Literally the anti-taste…we expected annihilation into pure energy to occur at any moment. The daal ($ 9) was cilantro-​flavored gruel. It looked like American corn chowder. It was not good. And not spicy. The garlic naan ($ 2) was garlicky, but very doughy. The kabuli naan ($ 4) was filled with dastardly cherry pie filling, which we hadn’t encountered in ages… and the bread was 1 cm thick, and possibly uncooked… To cap things off, the gulab jamun, unlike at Mount Everest Restaurant in Berkeley, was ball shallow in syrup. Weak.
The experience was quite the roller coaster: from entering the cleanest Indian restaurant in the Lower 48 to being annihilated by utter lack of vindaloo flavor. As a result, we bestow three samosas — not great considering the two-​rupee Peninsula prices. While it is true that you may be bathed in halogen Sunlight during your dining experience, you may not, alas, be over the Moon…
* Note: Amber Moon has moved to San Mateo, and may or may not now be called Clear Moon. It is… unclear…

Um you moved?
Who thinks it might be helpful if their webpage mentioned that it moved from Burlingame to San Mateo? And you know, that in San Mateo they aren’t called Amber Moon, so maybe you won’t cruise up and down the block two or three times looking for the restaurant with that name but Clay Oven instead? I am so annoyed that it affects my appreciation of the meal!
The food was always just OK, but the extra effort involved to get it this time was simply not worth it, sorry. And the incredibly nonchalant attitude to the change in location/​lack of information was the final nail in the coffin — treat your customers like — um, customers please! You aren’t worth the extra effort and I won’t be making it in the future.