Grand Islander Hotel

I bet Grand Islander was really bitchin’ back in 1998. Since then, not a thing has changed. The hallways and lobby smell like urine. Always a good first impression, right?! The rooms are super dark even after you open the curtain on the small window and turn on the lights. Beds seem really low to the ground but are comfortable enough for a few hours sleep. We stayed for two nights and I can’t tell you how thankful I am that my sister threw a bed sheet in her bag because the sheets gave us the creeps. One of the bed sheets had makeup all over it and the other bed had random hairs on it. The shower was fine and actually the water pressure wasn’t too awful. Our window «view» was of a lovely tree that had been decorated with a pair of pantyhose and empty Bud Light cans. Pool was fun but as someone else mentioned the water was kind of dirty. Lots of bugs and hair floating around. I mean, I still got in the pool and all but I sat my ass on the in-​water bar stool and that was it. The pool here, Splash!, is 21+ which is awesome. You can also use the pools across the street at Islander Inn. I just had to laugh at how beat up this place is. ATM machine by the pool looked ancient. Décor on the walls are crooked and dusty. A mini facelift would greatly improve Grand Islander. We payed around $ 150/​night during the week so you would likely be getting really screwed with a weekend rate. I recommend doing yourself a solid and researching other places to stay because there are many and they will probably be much nicer for a similar price.

I stayed for 4 nights, and there definitely are a lot of pro’s and a lot of con’s.
#1 reason that you’d want to stay here is your proximity to the fun downtown. Behind the hotel is «The World’s Largest Swim-​up Bar» called «SPLASH!» Pretty cool place, if you’re into that, with a wooden stage above the bar for live music. There also is a pirate ship with another bar on it as well for people to go nuts. Surrounding this hotel is access to many of the other nightlife places. You are literally 30+ seconds out the front door to Tony’s, the PIB Brewery, Historical Society, Hooligan’s Pub, Mojito Bay, Tipper’s, Beer Barrel, Mist, and more.
The hotel itself is a little tricky to get in and out of easily if you’re looking for shortcuts at all times of the day or night. You’ll do a lot of walking to get in and out through the lobby door. However, during hours that SPLASH! is open, you can enter through the rear entrance into the first floor of the hotel, also, which is a time saver. Parking can also be an issue, and you may have to park at the sister hotel, «The Islander» and walk a little bit further to get into the Grand. But, this is an island and space is limited downtown nowadays, so just keep that in your head when you stay here.
The rooms are o.k. and fortunately do not smell musty like the lobby does. The best thing about this hotel is that they do keep the rooms very clean and working well.
Along the front of the building are some great shops to add to your experience, like the «World’s Smallest Margarita Bar» (seats 2!), a tanning shop, wine shop and Cameo Pizza that delivers until 3 a.m. and smells delicious.
Above the lobby and those small shops is the abomination «Level 2» night club. Loud, super late on weekends, thump thump thump. But, maybe it’s your kind of thing, but definitely not mine. Fortunately, you can’t hear that noise whilst you are in your hotel room.

For the price, this was the worst hotel I’ve ever spent two nights in. For a really crappy, small, musty, moldy smelling room with little amenities price tag of $ 250 per night. All because it’s on the bachelor/​bachlorette/​frat boy capital of the Lake Erie Islands… Put-​in-​Bay.
There were a few good points. The location is one of them. It’s really close to everything. You’re a very short walk from where the Jet Express docks. Also a very short walk from downtown PIB and all of the amazing (lolz) night life.
Free WiFi.
The pool is pretty cool too. It features «The World’s Longest Swim-​up Bar!» Minus the fact that the water is green from wasted people pissing in it – and it smells a lot like Sea World — it was decent and fun. It was loud and very party oriented. I was also very irritated that pool towels were not offered. I was very foolish and didn’t remember what Towelie, of South Park fame, told me. I didn’t bring one. «Always bring a towel!»
I would not plan a stay at this hotel if you’re looking for a quiet or low-​key weekend. Bad idea. I wouldn’t even go to this island at all if that’s what you’re looking for. If you’re looking to go crazy and drink yourself silly — stay here. This is not a quaint little hotel by any means. It’s definitely geared toward the partying types that hang out on PIB.
Overall, totally not worth the price… unless you’re a bachelor or bachelorette and have no other options.