Perch Tavern

A friend and I attempted to go there last night after going to the gym (don’t judge:). I was holding a clear water bottle that was half full. We bellied up to the bar and waited for a few minutes when a woman went behind the bar and told me that there were no outside beverages allowed in the bar. By her tone I immediately knew she was mad. I sincerely apologized, attempting to mend her frustration and asked if she could dump my water out? She took my water bottle and then told me there was a sign outside that clearly stated no outside beverages allowed, and added something along the same meaning of if only I would have been observant. Her tone almost increased with disdain at this time. I again apologized. Then immediately she asked for our drivers licenses. Thankfully I had left mine at home (we are both in our 40’s) and my friend was fuming. We left, I was in shock at our treatment and my friend was angry. We went down the the Sundown. The bartenders were very nice. I have never posted a negative review until now and am not inclined to write one because everyone has a bad day once in a while but this woman had such disdain for us that it was alarming.
*btw… The front door was open and I walked back before crossing the street and didn’t see a visible sign that stated no outside beverages allowed. I realize this is the norm but just wasn’t thinking w leaving the gym across the street

Great little dive bar. The warning to drug users and dealers on the door of the men’s room seals the deal.
It’s got a lot of video poker, a Megatouch (or similar) and an internet jukebox. Plenty of TVs for The Game and a pool table that looks like it’s in a pretty decent spot. I think there’s a smoking patio, too.
They have the hands-​down best jo jos I’ve ever had, I really wanted to try the burger but my crew rolled out before I got a chance. I don’t know when I’d get a chance to come back here, but if I was in the area I’d totally do it.

What’s not to love? The drinks are cheap, though I don’t know if the mixed ones are good. They do have a wide array of liquors, and the woman tending bar seemed salted and seasoned, though certainly friendly enough. I’ve only had the beer on tap, and my slender wallet was pleased, because it was so reasonably priced, compared to most everywhere else… anywhere. It’s only a couple of blocks from my house, and they’re not charging me upwards of $ 6 for a pint. Wahoo! There’s a pool table, too, though I’m not sure about karaōke night. It’s right near me, so I’ll have to give it a go some time. Not sure about the regulars, since I’ve only been in during the afternoon on a walk back from the food trucks down the block, en route to home. I know I do not look like I «belong» here, but nobody gave me the stink eye. It’s definitely a dive, but it’s crawling distance from my front door, so it’s a win.

So it took me 5 years to make it in the door of this dive bar located about 4 blocks from my house. But indeed, I am a fan. Much like other Unilocalers have said, this place changes from day to day. Hard to know who, how many, and what sorts will be drinking at this fine establishment. But for a few Thursdays now, my friends and I have taken to drinking and singing karaōke here.
Cheap and fairly strong drinks. A big and awesome smoking porch almost as big as the bar itself. Such a menagerie of St johns finest and not so finest residents. A fabulous kj — Captain — who will somehow have you singing with him, hugging him, or both before you leave. Professional staff — one cute young bartender who’s fun to flirt with, and one who at first rubbed me the wrong way. she’s curt, not rude but when she followed me out to the patio because she had forgotten the cherries for my cocktail… she won this fruity drunkard’s heart.
Each time I go, I make a new friend. My first time there I met a Facebook friend whom I’d never met before!!! The next time, a cute man who made out with my friend. Always a mystery and a joy. Do they serve food? Yes. I think I’ve tried their fries. They were fries. But who the hell goes here to eat? Depending on how many friends you bring, be prepared to get quite a few songs in. God I hope this place doesn’t get «trendy» anytime soon now that I finally discovered it.

Are you sick of going to sports bars in hopes of catching a Blazer game only to find out the screen is too small and/​or a hoard of people are obstructing your view and/​or too many hipster types make you feel your jeans are not skinny enough.
Look no further than Perch Tavern.
Front row seats to a big screen with the minimal infractions of distribution.
Snappy bar tenders (all older, very wise women).
Folding tables.
Secret outdoor porch.
Ultra cheap draft beer (even craft and crafty ones)
Only fried food on the menu (get the shrooms!)
and surprise visits by stellar local karaōke stars.
And a parking lot (although I recommend walking if you live in the hood).
A true dive bar.

Great

Local neighborhood bar, nice and relaxed during the week and plenty of fun on the weekends. In my neighborhood and my favorite place to go out and have a few beers or too go with a group of friends and sing some Karaōke. The staff here has always made me feel at home and I will be a customer for life.

Impromptu date night on Friday night led my husband and me here. We ordered a shot of good tequila and the price was good & the pour was generous. There was also karaōke by Captain. (He sells killer smoked jerky!)
The patrons are definitely a mixed bag of university students, old regulars and random bar crawl folks.
Fast, friendly service in a small place. Good fun.

Local watering hole, comfortable in its skin. Dumb, but a fun harmless sorta dumb.
Having spent so very little time as a younger dude frequenting such local «hot spots» as the Perch (and the epically sleazy 8 ball Tavern, RIP, sitting kitty-​corner @ the same intersection), I am by no means the best choice to play historian. That said, I worked very nearby the Perch back in the early to mid 90s, but only had a passing familiarity — and low simmering contempt— for the Perch and its perma– blotto patrons. I now look at places like the Perch w/​more forgiving, middle-​aged eyes.
Over the past couple months I’ve conducted a leisurely, not to say thorough-​going revisiting of many North Portland landmarks, many older, some newer. I’ve gradually come to see that there is a naturally-​occurring sheep-​v-​cattle grouping going on: The old guard reliably congregate at places like The Perch, and the Wishing Well, and the Mouse Trap, etc. The new/​gentrified guard, tend to herd together at the Fixin’ To and Leisure Public House and Slim’s. Slim’s used to be quintessential Old Guard, but now belongs to the new, the younger set, the painfully hip. The Twilight Room and increasingly, the Alibi, are some of the very few I’ve seen that have consistently hosted both older and younger crowds, mainly owing to the large U of P local population.
Back to the Perch. I’m not exactly sure when Karaōke was introduced into the mix, but it seems to be a fairly recent innovation, as it is over at the Alibi. When working next door way back when, I remember hearing painfully inane, nonstop drunken prattle and music wafting from out of the Perch’s creaky old walls and doors and windows in the night-​time sky, but not the distinctively awful sounds of Karaōke. So on a recent stop-​by, imagine my surprise to witness the Karaōke and —even more surprising– the singing was not nearly as bad as I would have bet cash money it «just had to» inevitably be.
In addition to the singing were the middle-​aged single moms, w/​o even a shred of irony, doing the electric slide on the non-​existent dancing space in the middle of the crowded tavern. To think that it could have been ME to impregnate some of these little sweet-​hearts from yesteryear, how different my life would be… However, I had little time to luxuriate in woulda, coulda, shouldas as I recognized several other faces from the old ‘hood, and from high school. Note: this should NOT be confused as anything like a ringing endorsement of the place. I’m not saying I think I’m one bit better than any such patrons, but I will say it didn’t at all surprise me to see them there as regulars. I’ve managed to keep in touch w/​all the folks I care to from that era, needless to say none of these fine folks made the short list. You could also safely bet they hadn’t exactly regretted my long absence from their lives, likewise. You might say we just didn’t run in the same circles.
There was only one barkeep there on a busy, crowded night for some reason, and she obviously had her hands full, so I entertained myself checking out the very brief, simple menu– which was also completely un-​ironic in it’s yellowed, 1980-​something fonts and lingo and prices. Gotta give it to the Perch, there is none of the hoity-​toity, let’s-join-the-21^st-century w/​our menu sort of pretensions so commonplace in other joints. When it was time to order, I thought I should get something memorable, something to sustain me till the next go-​round, which w/​the large crowd I knew was gonna take a while. Why not a Manhattan? Not my typical order, but then, I’m not enough of a tavern-​dweller to really have a standby. Imagine my surprise when the supremely tanned bar lass asked me how to make a Manhattan. This lady looked quite proficient in her duties, it was obviously not her first day on the job. But rather than try to have a discussion w/​her w/​so much back ground noise, I changed tactics and asked instead for a Boiler Maker. No go on the BMs (heh heh. BMs), either. Then I got a very timely text message and I took this as a sign that the Perch has managed to flourish w/​o my patronage all these years, and will undoubtedly continue to do so, as long as there are merry-​makers looking to temporarily slake their eternal thirst.
Skoal, as they say in Scandinavia, or bottom’s up. Stay thirsty indeed, my friend…

Funnest kereoke ever! They actually have Blue Moon on tap!!! Soooo yummy! Awesome bartender, she even offered me a fresh orange slice :) Great drinks served with charm and style. It’s definitally a new favorite of mine and a long time favorite for a lot of my friends.

I give this place all stars for good reason. Captain who holds down the karaōke there is the best! Laura behind the bar is a beautiful delight! The drinks are at a reasonable price. I also loved the little corndogs Laura made me. All around greatness!

This place is super «divy» and out of the way. My buddy and I stumbled upon this place a couple of weeks ago and fell in love with it. The bartender makes the greatest drinks. MM long Island Ice Teas. and those Bloody Mary’s are to die for! Definitely love going by this little gem on my way out to see my senior ladies. They are great at making you feel at home. Thank you!

Ok, I didn’t try the food. I was with a huge group and I’ve never been anywhere in St. John. That aside, the drinks are DIRT cheap, the bartender is super sweet and prompt, there is a juke box and karaōke 3 times a week to boot.
I love me some dive bars and if there is cheap asbestos carpets, well, I loves me some even more. If there is pokey machines, well, I loves me some even more. If the bartender says a $ 6 drink is steep then honey, pitch me a tent and let me live here!
Also, if you leave your phone in the bathroom, they find it, hold it and hand it right back to you. Now, that’s a classy joint in my book.

My husband hates this place, but I have always kinda loved it. Maybe this is just because it was a couple blocks from home. Maybe because it so really, really cheap.
I’m the kind of person who likes to sit outside, even when it’s 40 degrees– and you can do that here because they have a covered side porch. True, it’s often smoky back there– but I don’t really care. I just like the option to sit outside in a dry chair.
True, there are some missing teeth– but that is becoming more appealing
as more and more newbies move into the neighborhood.
I have not eaten here since about 2002. Won’t be doing that again– though I see people do it all of the time.
They are a full bar nowadays, have been for a couple years now.
Be warned, karaōke from Thursday through Saturday night.

Wow! A pub crawl started here, I know why I have never been. The regulars looked like they may lynch us all!
BUT they do have karaōke and it would be worth bringing my friends back after gettin liquored up at the fixinto!

I don’t think I am supposed to be in here, I thought there would be owls inside or something… nope, just liquor and shitty beer. and lotto machines, and not… many…teeth…

I’ve stopped in here a few times after hitting the gym across the street (hey, we have to reward ourselves somehow), and it’s a nice, quaint little bar.
Good bar food, standard bar drinks, single serving bottles of wine, and a pretty decent karaōke night on Thursdays. It’s very convenient for watching the regulars sing their favorites.
I just have to say though, they just recently remodeled their sign, and I am not a fan. Seriously, hot pink writing? Do yourself a favor, keep the owl, lose the pink writing.

When I finish business in St. Johns, I come here for convenience. That’s my motivation. It’s not the sort of place I’d go out of my way to get to. But it’s another one of those reliable, relaxed neighborhood dive bars.
They offer two pool tables, a comfortable patio, Pirates of the Caribbean pinball, a juke box, and the ever-​present video poker machines.
It’s a tavern, so you’ll be stuck drinking beer. But if you want to live on the wild side, there’s also Sparks, ciders, and cheapo single-​serving bottles of wine.
The bar food is inexpensive. They make a decent grilled cheese sandwich.
And there’s comical karaōke on Thursday nights. Be prepared to get your fill of Garth Brooks though.
I’ve found the people here to be friendly. On more than one occasion, I ended up splitting a pitcher of PBR with a stranger and spending a couple hours talking with them.
All in all, it’s not a bad place to stop at before heading to the Leisure House or Slim’s.