psyche

I recommend this place for anyone who is looking for a great therapy support.

I’ll try to make this short. Christy was the WORST therapist I have ever met. My husband and I had seen 2 others in our 13 years together, and we had an amazing one after her. Christy would never agree to meet with either of us without the other. She never got to know our personal stories.
My husband had broken some agreements around our open marriage, and it felt to me like Christy had some sort of stake in making sure that he was validated every step of the way. After working with us for 2 months, my husband wanted a divorce, and she encouraged it. There was never any attempt to keep our family together; it was all about my husband’s happiness after a summer of his unscrupulous behavior. He was lying to her, and she believed everything that he told her.
Two weeks after leaving Christy’s «care», my husband snapped out of whatever he was going through and wanted to work things out. We got a really good therapist who saw through all of his stories and justifications. She met with us each individually and then together. Once we had someone to guide us through the process of rebuilding trust, my husband admitted everything and took responsibility. Our new therapist made sure that we were both treated with respect. During these sessions, it came out that there was yet another person he was involved with the whole time we were seeing Christy, yet Christy kept validating him every time he said «nothing’s going on. You’re paranoid!». Once my husband realized the impact of his behavior, he was devastated by his actions. Christy never gave him the chance to get to that point because she never called him on anything inappropriate.
Basically, I think that Christy just didn’t like me. I was full of anger in her sessions, and she constantly judged me on it. Any person who was going through what I went through probably would be angry. Christy tried to make me feel like my husband had done nothing wrong and that I was crazy for being angry with him.
I understand that therapists all have their own way of working with clients. This wasn’t just a difference of styles. It wasn’t until our work with our new therapist that I realized how damaging Christy’s approach was. Imagine sitting on her couch, crying because your husband is lying to you (and her) and putting other women ahead of you… and then your therapist shakes her head and says, «well, he doesn’t believe that he has done anything wrong, so you cannot say that you are ‘betrayed’»!
There are plenty of other poly-​friendly therapists out there.

best. therapy. ever.

psyche is an Oakland collective of three feminist, sex-​positive psychotherapists (Christy Calame, LCSW, Beth Bernstein, MFT, and Matilda St. John, MFT,) who work out of an office across from Lake Merritt.
I have been seeing Christy Calame weekly off and on for the last five years and she is an amazing healer and support. I’ve heard great things about Beth Bernstein and Matilda St. John.
Following are a review and an update I wrote about Christy Calame. My understanding is that Beth and Mathilda have similar therapy styles and an equally progressive outlook.
12÷13÷09 update:
I’ve been back in therapy with Christy for a year now and she’s such an amazing support to me. I don’t know what I’d do without her.
Sometimes I feel guilty about being so bourgeois that I can pay someone to listen to my problems. It is a guilty pleasure, (it’s only pleasurable sometimes, though), and I know there will be a time in the future that I won’t be in therapy. In the meantime, I continue to be grateful that I’m not wasting my time and money with a lesser practitioner.
Original review:
11÷14÷07:
Therapy is one of those things that is so personal it seems a bit odd to review one’s practitioner. How can I know what will work for anyone else? That being said, I’ve wasted some time in my almost four decades on the planet with some not-​so-​great (at least for me) practitioners. (Oh, if I’d only known Christy in my 20s or early 30s…)
Someone whom I dated for four years used to tell me that he loved dating me because, «You never want to talk about our relationship.» I have, at times, willfully ignored things/​people/​my own behaviors that were damaging to me. I’m still someone who, to her own detriment, does practically no navel-​gazing, but because Christy helped me, for one hour a week, examine my default patterns and behaviors, to a large extent I am now able to heal myself and make better choices.
Last July, when I became a lot poorer because of a real estate purchase, I asked Christy if she agreed that it would be OK for me to take a break from therapy. She said yes and also told me she was available if I needed to call her if I needed to or schedule a session or three if needed a check-​in or a short series of appointments. She told me that she’s always there for me, and I really do feel that. She is part of my support system.
There have been times when I could have called her in the 4.5 months since then, but I feel so much more together than before I started seeing her that I haven’t needed to. Christy has inspired me to look at my life a whole new way and see patterns that don’t move me forward. She has helped me to become my own day-​to-​day therapist.
As a side note, Christy is part of a three-​person therapy group who call themselves Psyche. They use the phrase «not your mother’s therapist» in their advertising in local progressive magazines and it’s true (unless your mom is a lot wilder than mine). Psyche specializes in GLBT, sex-​positive, kink-​friendly, feminist, etc. therapy. (You don’t have to be liberal, queer or kinky to have therapy from these folks – it’s just a safe space for people who want that.)
In summary: Christy is great. If you’re looking for a kick-​ass therapist in Oakland, I really recommend her. She’s one of my heroes.