Mamalove Doula Services – Nickie Tilsner

Early in my pregnancy I decided that we needed a doula for our birth. And, I decided that my husband and I should interview three potential doulas before choosing the one we wanted to work with. Nickie was the first doula we met. Nickie left our house after about an hour. I looked at my husband and said, «Is it okay that we go with the first one?» I felt so comfortable with Nickie that I didn’t feel the need to meet anyone else. At the time I met her, around Spring of 2011, she had attended well over 200 births. In addition, she trains doulas. And, after telling her I was not very hippie-​dippy, and rather wanted someone who was going to shoot it to me straight during the birth and be my advocate, she agreed she could be that person. (She did however tell me she would bring candles, essential oils and other homeopathic means of support should we need them — which we did.) So, how could I go wrong? This was the doula for us. We met with Nickie two more times before the birth to talk about how the pregnancy was going, our expectations for the birth, etc. I felt 100% at ease with her and completely comfortable every time. At 38 weeks 6 days I woke up with signs of early labor. Nickie checked in throughout the day by phone. Turns out it was the real deal and she showed up to our house in the early evening. She accompanied us to the hospital (no need to hang out at home anymore as things were progressing!), stayed in the waiting room while we were in triage (only my husband was allowed to be with me during this stage) and joined us in our room. Nickie did an amazing job of mediating my interactions with hospital staff. She helped me into the bath and then she helped me out of it soon after. :)As I negotiated back labor she was able to keep me calm, give me mantras and visualizations to focus on through every contraction, worked to move me back and forth from toilet to bed (the only two spots I was comfortable) and more than anything continued to give me confidence. Because no one knows how long labor will last, it is so hard to continue into what seems the ‘unknown’. Nickie assured me that things were progressing as they should and that my body was doing good work. When it was time to push she continued to be calm and centered. Her assurance in my technique, as well as her constructive criticism with how to adjust and do it better allowed me to work quickly with only around 1 hour of pushing. I unfortunatley had an old-​school OB present for the birth who after 1 hour of pushing suggested an episiotomy (Nickie later told me she prepped her drugs, etc. only 10 min. in). My husband and I yelled ‘no’ and Nickie got close to my face and said, «On this next contraction you are going to push the baby out, ok?» I don’t know if it was animal instinct, determination or seeing that look in her eyes of confidence, but I did just what she said and my baby girl was born. Nickie stayed with us for a bit after the birth, once we knew all was well. And, we saw her again two days later for a home-​visit. Baby and I were both doing well, so we sat in my bedroom and talked over the birth. You want someone on your birth team who is competent and who you trust. Nickie was that person for me. She fit right in. I COULD NOT have negotiated natural childbirth without her. My husband and I both agree she was well-​worth her fee. And, should we opt for a hospital birth with baby #2, I hope she’ll be right there with us.

My husband and I attended Nickie’s childbirth preparation class for second-​time parents. It was hugely helpful in the weeks leading up to the birth and during the birth itself. The class was just the right length (two evenings), and it was the perfect refresher, especially for my husband. She taught a lot of hands-​on techniques for him to use with me, had us practice pain-​management, and covered what to expect before and during labor as second-​timers. The most useful part from my perspective was practicing the right kind of vocalizing– I took that to heart and used it a lot during labor, and it really helped. Nickie is incredibly knowledgeable and has a very good style when presenting information. She emailed course material to us after the class ended so we would have it for reference, and she was available for questions afterward as well. Take her class!

Nickie was great for the birth of our daughter. She kept with us through our 50 hours of labor and multiple surprise complications. Very patient & knowledgable, and helped us work with the doctors and nurses. I highly recommend her.