Louis David MD

I agreed to the new patient «wait 11 months» thing and signed up. This was the only time I ever got to see Dr. Louis. Every time since I show up, the nurse says, «you can see the doctor… if you want to wait 2 hours, or you can just see one of the practicioners.» Every time. For years.
The nurse practicioners are weirdos. «Carol,» has a tick, is painfully akward, cannot hold a conversation, but I thought, okay — fine. I just need my exam, then I’m done. This lady has seen me 7 times. Every time she says, «I don’t believe we’ve met.» It’s in the file that we have met — why not check it? She does not listen or retain anything I say. During the same visit I get the same questions over and over. It is a one way street, she tells me I should be doing something, I explain what my other doctor has me doing to take care of it, and she goes on forever about how I should be doing what she tells me to do. She also spends a long time talking about how what I’m doing diet-​wise is wrong, without giving any alternative, even though I’ve pointed out that they wasted 2 pain-​filled years of my life sending me out for various tests that showed nothing, and my naturopath made the pain go away in 1 week. But I should shut up and do what you say that doesn’t work? Nope. Not even. We’re done here.
There’s another lady whose name I think was Dr. Marta. Again, socially akward, really weird vibe. She is obsessed with rectal exams. I went in for my yearly exam & pap smear. Do I want your finger in my butt? No. No thank you. I’m good. Why did this turn into a 20 minute argument? Why did I have get to the point of screaming «NO,» as you were bullet-​training for my nethers, for you to get it?
Also, the nurrses will ask you how much time you have and when your meter will run out. I have no idea why they bother. Without fail, when the meter runs out, I am alone in a room, naked in a gown, with no way to easy way to get down to the meter.
The office looks like it was decorated 40 years ago and not maintained. The tables are covered in duct tape. The lights are the flickering flourescent of a bad horror movie. There are posters up from the 70s.
D-​O-​N-​E. Never going back there.

I have not actually received any service from this doctor. As a matter of fact, I’m in the market for a PCP that’s a bit closer to where I live in Oakland. I called Dr. Louis’ office up a few moments ago to schedule an appointment for a physical and some other odds and ends, and while they do claim to be accepting new patients (as per my provider’s website), they are not accepting appointments for new patients until October. It’s early May.
Call me old-​fashioned, but where I come from, that means that they’re not accepting new patients right now.
Weird phone call.