VH1

Very disgusting piece of garbage this channel has become. It used to be my refuge to go to for good music when I was highschool and needed to feel the future person I knew I would be one day thru meaningful music. Now you couldn’t pay me to watch this channel, it’s like a Caucasian version of bet, which I also dismissed in early 2000. All the disgusting reality shows are so uncomfortable and embarrassing to watch, and they had the nerve to take best week ever off, the one time a week I turned to this channel. Idiots. Just waiting for this channel to implode and go off the air from all the trashy reality shows clogging it up.

There’s a quandary to be discussed in regards to VH1. On the one hand, they used to have music videos. People like those.
On the other hand, there’s everything else on the channel.
2 stars, if only because credit should be given for making such horrid, yet such addictive television.

I like there Best week ever — and some of the shows like I Love the xx’s
Funny and interesting though some of the shows are like WT* — Flavor of love seriously?

If I ever sat through all of «100 Greatest One-​Hit Wonders,» I’ve wasted my life. Programming like Flavor of Love and I Love New York makes this channel seem trashy but the camp of The Anna Nicole Show or The Osbournes worked. The competitive reality spin-​offs about searching for love [Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School, Real Chance of Love, Rock of Love are like combining one form column A with another from column B] are weird. VH1 is more about C-​list celebrities than music nowadays. Who are these people commenting on Best Week Ever?

I used to LOVE VH1, though I hadn’t watched it in forever, as somehow my cable TV got screwed up and I took it as a sign from above that I don’t need to be watching TV in the first place.
But then recently when my family came to visit and started flipping channels, I discovered that all my cable channels seemed to be working again and somehow decided to switch it to VH1 this morning while eating my breakfast cereal. Maybe it’s fitting that I was eating sugary cereal at the time I was watching VH1. The two have a lot in common. Both can be dangerous. Both give you a «sugary rush» filled with a quick semblance of «gratification,» but you’re left wanting more and more, and often more unfulfilled than if you hadn’t «gone there» in the first place.
I will admit my opinion of VH1 started out nicely this morning. I tuned in to the second half of the top 20 countdown (it’s always weird to not watch videos for like half a year and then when you do start watching a video channel it’s like… who the hell are these people?). But it’s nice to catch up. I kept telling myself, ok, after this show I’ll turn it off. But that didn’t happen. I did switch channels during a show about living in the Hamptons because every one of those «fabulous life of_​_​_​_​_​» shows makes me want to puke. As if I don’t feel broke enough as it is. But I got sucked into Hogan Knows Best (LOVE that show), and Best Week Ever, which always cracks me up. I also watched some show about a bride and groom who spent over a million bucks on their wedding. I’m guessing I am forgetting to mention one or two shows, which is a reminder to myself of how bad it is to watch this kind of stuff when I can’t even remember what I watched.
After what feels like 4 hours of having the tv on, along comes a show called «Rock of Love.» I was working on something on my coffee table and said to myself, OK, I’ll just keep it on while I work on this project.
«Rock of Love» is a bit like a white rock chick version of «Flava of Love.» Insert 25 single mostly white women and Bret Michaels from Poison, who’s looking for a woman he can want to f— all day, whom he can also call his best friend. How Romantic. Some of these women are huge fans and have dreamed about meeting Bret Michaels for a loooong time. They all look so excited. Bret pulls up on his motorcycle, says hello to all the ladies, and then goes inside (pretending — badly — to have no clue what’s about to happen). And this is where it gets ugly.
His big bodyguard comes out and starts picking a handful of ladies out of the crowd, saying «I need you to stay put… and you… and you…» The rest of the women are told to go inside and have a good ol’ time meeting Bret Michaels. Then the bouncer tells the five «contestants,» sorry, but… not everyone gets to go inside. You ladies have just been cut and need to go home… now.
They totally set these girls up. They were all so psyched to meet Bret Michaels, but they never even got the chance to speak to the guy… because they weren’t pretty enough (apparently 10x hotter than Brett isn’t enough). The looks on their faces is something I’ll never forget.
I can’t imagine how much time these poor girls spent, getting totally excited to meet this guy, traveling to LA (one flew all the way from Chicago), telling their friends about the show, only to get humiliated and kicked off based SOLELY on their looks (it couldn’t have been anything else, as they weren’t even given the chance to speak). I don’t care if they’re naïve or made a poor judgment call by deciding to go on a cheesy show in the first place. I’d still like to think anyone with half a soul would still find it in as poor taste as I did. Maybe some people enjoy that kind of elitist bullshit, but not me. It was about as entertaining as watching someone get pushed off a cliff.
I’ve never hit the Power Off button so fast on my remote control in my entire lifetime. I’d been telling myself all afternoon — OK, turn it off, turn it off. But that little incident made it so easy to not only turn off the TV, but to also decide to boycott VH1 altogether. Which is a shame, cause I have to admit they’ve got some great shows. But that was the meanest thing I’ve ever seen on television in my entire lifetime. SOMEBODY should’ve stepped up & edited that shit out. Maybe VH1 shouldn’t be blamed for one crappy incident on one little episode, but I don’t think I’ll be able to watch it again without thinking of that lame show. It’s like that saying: you can forgive, but sadly, some things you can never forget… even if you WANT to!
Like I said — I guess it’s a good thing, cause I had way too much shit I’m supposed to be doing today, and TV shouldn’t be anywhere on the agenda. Thanks, VH1, for taking reality TV to a whole new level of suckdom. You made it easy to tune out and feel great about it.

Oh VH1. You used to be the hippie van-​driving soft rock singer songwriter older sister Sarah Maclachlan-​Lilith-​Fair profiling unhip piece of crap. But you had that Tracy Chapman song «Give Me One Reason» on all the time, and its a decent single. And goddamn Alanis Morrisette.
there was a time when you actually had music videos along with MTV, you both shared the Gin Blossums and positively killed that.
You used to have a couple great lists like 100 greatest rock bands, made with actual care alongside Rolling Stone and the likes, and the somewhat shallow and poorly focused but great intro piece «history of rock ‘n roll».
You championed Jewel on her first album. And then she wrote a book of poetry which my dad bought. It was horrid.
Now the only thing entertaining on your schedule is and now was the I love the… decade series. Nothing else. At all. Best Week Ever sometimes. but you are concentrating on all these crappy marathons of people and lives who are wasted doing nothing even entertaining. Its so passé. Kind of like when you played those crappy Joan Osborne songs.