Traphaus

Joe L., what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent review were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Emerson, as a champion of individualism and a prescient critic of the countervailing pressures of society would certainly award this institution one star. Everyone on this site is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
This «invite only» club haus (hah, see what I did there?) has a decent venue but the clientele and staff left more to be desired. Exposed brick, yada yada, and a yappy dog that is definitely underfed and not groomed. They threw a sweater on it but I’m pretty sure that was a coverup measure. Ambience in all, think Greenwich village, but with an Alphabet City projects feel.
Chicken a la Shelly, was a bit overcooked and dry. It was like a pre-​made, frozen serving, that smelled like it had been left out to spoil spoil before it was frozen. The Murphy Special was meh. Enjoyable at first but unsettling after consumption. To be honest, the only reason I gave it two stars was for the Tapas de Tasha. It looked really appetizing on the menu but they always seem to be «out of it.»
TL;DR — You’re better off spending your time in the alley behind the Times Square Applebees eating the trash scraps with the hobos.

Traphaus changed my life. When Ralph Waldo Emerson began the transcendentalist movement, I can only imagine that his inspiration was a dream (dare I say, vision) about this venue. Never have I encountered such a rare combination of store-​bought Hors d’oeuvres, mid-​shelf spirits, and top-​shelf ladies.
Notable menu highlights include the escargots, foie gras, buffalo wings, and chicken a la Michelle. On the cocktail menu I would recommend the vodka soda, double-​shot of aristocrat, and Murphy special.
To close out this review, I’d like to quote some of the songbirds of our generation, who accurately describe my feelings towards Traphaus:
«Your love is like a river, peaceful and deep
Your soul is like a secret that I never could keep
When I look into your eyes, I know that it’s true
God must have spent a little more time on you»