San Francisco Catholic Engaged Encounter

I went to the engagement counter with my fiancée not knowing what to expect. What I found was two wonderful couple sharing their life with us. I can not commend Lorraine and Dave for their courage and humor enough. I absolutely recommend coming here for every new couple ready to tie to knot regardless of their religion. Thank you Dave/​Lorraine and Don/​Marilyn for the fabulous weekend.

I recommend this weekend retreat to all engaged couples – whether you are Catholic, religious, or neither.
This is a weekend retreat focused on establishing a solid communication foundation for you and your partner. Dave, Lorraine, Luis and Carol were such a joy, and it is wonderful to see such generous stewards volunteering their time and effort to build healthy engagements.
You listen to presentations, write letters to your significant other, and then share the letters with each other. The weekend is focused on improving genuine communication and learning to listen and really hear what your partner is feeling and saying.
Two thumbs way up!

Although this non-​profit event is recommended by the Catholic archdiocese, I was shocked to learn that they aren’t financially supported by them. This was an amazing experience and truthfully brought my fiancée and I closer together. We learned a lot about marriage, about each other, and about ourselves. It isn’t restricted to just catholics, but all forms of faith! A highly recommended course to attend. Dave/​Lorraine & Luis/​Carol were inspiring presenters mixing the perfect blend of humor and personal life lessons into a memorable weekend.

My fiancé and I just went to engagement encounter this weekend and it was so good that when I described it to my mom (happily married for 30 years!), she said «that sounds like the sort of thing that I should do with your father!»
You cover topics including:
+ Personality types (they have you take a sort of couples-​oriented Meyers-​Briggs test — we scored a «people-​oriented/​calm-​oriented,» and for two skeptical people, it did a pretty good job of predicting areas of friction in our relationship
+ Values in the family of origin (education, quality time, TV, sports, family, friends)
+ Open communciation (love languages of gifts, acts of service, touch, words of affirmation and quality time; methods of communication such as «I» statements)
+ Finances (debt load, earnings, savings)
+ Intimacy (what works, what doesn’t, what are expectations)
+ The sacrament of marriage (the marriage itself is considered sacred in Catholicism)
The presenting couple was grounded, realistic, and open — they shared struggles of their marriage that I’ll refrain from posting, but set a tone for radical openness during the session.
It was open from a religion perspective as well. I’m a very spiritual half-​Jew who is going to marry an equally spiritual woman who once asked her Catholic elementary school teacher «Why aren’t there women priests?», so we really struggle with how we’ll relate to the Catholic Church. Two things have brought us closer to the Church — Pope Francis’ On Care for Our Common Home/​Laudato Si, and this weekend.
A+.

Great weekend for couples who are about to get married. We went over topics that everyone should be talking about. Sessions were short and format was great. The presenting couples were all very enthusiastic and engaging. Learning about their own personal experiences makes the weekend more personable. Accommodations were comfortable. We thought we had to use «dorm style» bathrooms but we didn’t. You share a room with one other person and there is a bathroom connected to each room. Shower water gets hot very quickly (this is really appreciated especially during the cold mornings). Don’t forget the use the heaters at night. My roommate and I woke up cold one night because we forgot to turn on the heater. Food was satisfying. Parking easy. Property has nice grounds and is pretty big. My fiancé and I both left the weekend feeling invigorated and excited about our new life ahead of us. Thank you very much to Fr Matt, Sandra and Eddie, Chip and Weedgie, and Brian and Danielle for all your wisdom and support.

Awesome marriage prep workshop that I would recommend to anyone of any faith preparing for a long-​term relationship or currently in a committed one (even if you are not yet engaged).
My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years and we both still learned so much about each other and our relationship. We are celebrating the sacrament of matrimony this year.
The biggest benefit of this workshop is how much communication you do with your significant other. You get to talk, write and read love letters, and spent time together and apart. You discuss topics you have either never discussed, buried, or discussed but then let go without any resolution.
There was an optional Catholic mass where the Father literally paused to discuss the history and explain all of the prayers and rituals. It was very enlightening and welcoming.
Lastly, I am glad I took some of the free ear plugs. My roommate was a light snorer but just enough to make a difference for me.

This weekend was the most relaxing, valuable, and fun weekend of our entire engagement.
First, the format: It started early Saturday morning, lasted until about 9 PM that night, and picked back up again the next morning until around 11. It’s ok — they supply Starbucks coffee and Tazo Tea the entire time. There were also lots of snacks and other drinks available, and the food at the meals was FANTASTIC. You room with another retreat-​attender, but you barely spend any time in your room. They had many topics to cover, outlined in the workbook they give you. General format would be presentation, split up for an activity (usually writing your thoughts out) then get back together with your fiancé to discuss for about 20 minutes. It was well-​paced to cover all the topics, but most of the time was either spent alone or just with fiancé, so it wasn’t too much for even the most introverted of people to handle.
Second, the retreat grounds: ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. The weather was great, there are three bunnies hopping around, there was plenty of space to spread out, and the mansion with a giant porch made me feel like I was looking out over the most relaxing country field (even though you’re in the middle of a pretty active part of town).
Third, the presenters: They were awesome. Real couples shared many intimate and relatable stories with us. These couples really spill their hearts to you, and they do read out their presentations to keep themselves on track, but they still captured emotion and kept it very interesting. They were just so fantastic and inspiring.
Fourth, the end result: My fiancé and I were able to bring up topics that don’t necessarily come up very often. We were able to assess where we are, where we want to be, and how to get there. We connected on such a deep level the entire weekend. We also met some other really great couples, and I wish we had another weekend just to hang out with all of them. But we were really there for our relationship (and because the Catholic church requires it). I think we can always go back to what we learned this weekend or what we wrote in our workbooks to keep our marriage on track. I highly recommend this to you, even if it’s not required.
A wedding lasts a day, but a marriage lasts a lifetime. — Their motto really sums it up.

Engagement Encounter is for Everyone!
I am writing this review from a unique perspective. Although my fiancée is Catholic. I am not. In fact, I do not identify with any religion. And I write this to assuage any fears or reservations that others who are not Catholic, Christian, or even religious might have. Everyone can learn and grow as a couple from attending this.
This weekend is all about facilitating your marriage; already married couples talk about their experiences, their values, their personality types, and how they solved their conflicts. Then, you as a couple do exercises with your partner, where you discuss your values, your personality types your styles of communication, etc. It is all about facilitating your growth as a couple, helping you to identify areas and conflict resolution. And good communication, honesty, openness, are qualities that all people who are getting married value.
Here are some questions you may have and their answers:
Do you have to speak in front of the group? No, at no point. These exercises are for you as a couple and you will discuss them privately.
Do you have to do confession? No; the priest is available for people who want to.
Do they ask you if you believe in God and question you if you don’t? No, they do not.
Is it politicized? No, the priest and the marriage couples do not talk about hot button topics. They also do not talk about natural family planning, although there is some information in your workbook if you’d like to learn more.
Is there indoctrination? No, it is about aiding you as a couple in your marriage. The whole process is couple-​driven.
I was surprised at first that some of the married couples were previously married; after we received instructions from them and reviewed exercises with our significant others, I understood why this was the case. To show us how marriages can go wrong; but also to contrast that with how they have gone right and what they’re now doing in their second marriages to keep things strong. I really appreciated and respected their willingness to talk about such private things, to help aid us in our own future marriages.
Father Xavier was wonderful! He was very insightful into many topics about marriage including problem solving. For example, he mentioned that if your spouse doesn’t leave the cap on the toothpaste and it bothers you, have a mutually agreed way of reminding them other than telling them. For example, put a shirt on the door. That way, your spouse is reminded of what they forgot to do, and yet, you do not need to nag them.
I really enjoyed how they also give excellent additional references, such as the Love Languages book (an excellent read for couples to then discuss). The grounds of the facility are tranquil, with plenty of greenery and benches for your discussions. I feel it has helped strengthen my relationship and provided insights into how to maintain and nurture it.

No words can describe how moving this weekend was. It is long and intense, not going to lie there. We went into this program, without the restrictions of having to get married in a Catholic church. We are getting married at a Jr. College. This was more for me because I was raised by a single mother and grandma. Never knew what it was like to be raised around married people? I needed some foundation steps on how to wrap my head around marriage.
Questions and real life stories moved me, and confirmed that we’ll be okay in the end. I’m so ready now to get married. Planning a wedding is fun, but to plan a lifetime is something I’m now ready to take on.
You’re provided 3 tasty meals. I’m a vegetarian and was able to survive. There were healthy options. Rooming with another female was fine. You are so tired at the end of the night, you’ll just crash. I was so lucky to get a couple pets with the silver bunny on site. Fluffy!
Now the true stars of these weekends are the volunteer couples who dedicate their weekend to us. They rock! Our teachers were: Dave & Lorine and Maria & Tommy. Please if you are considering a way to explore your life together, this is a wonderful experience. You don’t have to be Catholic to attend, all are welcome.

San Francisco Catholic Engaged Encounter was a great experience for my fiancée and I. The SFCEE staff is great, although there are multiple couples present, it is purely a one-​on-​one retreat. I was worried that there would be group demonstrations, but all the exercises we did were with our spouse. I highly recommend this to any couple seeking marriage counseling.

In the midst of planning a wedding it is easy to lose sight of what really matters. SFCEE puts it all into perspective in a low-​pressure environment. Definitely worth the time and cost. And don’t miss the ice cream bar at lunch!

I highly recommend attending this retreat for any couple who’s planning to get married. The San Francisco Catholic Engaged Encounter was a great experience for my fiancè and I.
First of all, I went into this with a defensive attitude not knowing what to expect. I thought it would be counselors trying to make me second-​guess my decision to get married. Boy was I wrong! Lorraine, Dave, Anne, and Mike were some of the coolest people we’ve met. No preaching, no judgement, just real talk. They tell you their life experiences and what you can learn from it.
Vallambrosa is a beautiful location. The grounds are very nice and spacious. The rooms are outdated but they each have a bathroom. It is what it is. You’re not in your room that much anyway. All in all, I highly recommend it for couples soon to tie the knot.

This weekend was not what we expected. As a non — demominational weekend, I found this extremely valuable for anyone planning to get married. This is an exploration of who you are as a couple with no influences or judgments by others.

My fiancé and I just got back from the San Francisco Catholic Engaged Encounter and it was absolutely amazing! I can’t begin to describe what a wonderful experience this was for us. I will have to admit that it was not what we expected at all. Dave, Lorraine, Joe and Maria were the speakers for our weekend. They are just the greatest people ever! They spoke about their real life experiences as a couple and really opened up to us about love, sacrifice, marriage and problem solving.
My fiancé and I have been together for 8 years but have known each other since we were 11 years old. I really didn’t think I could learn much more about him, but this weekend proved me wrong. We were able to learn and understand more about each other on a deeper emotional level. We spent the entire weekend sharing our thoughts and feelings for the future. I just can’t emphasize enough how valuable this weekend was to us.
If you and your fiancé are looking for marriage preparation this is most definitely the best place to do it! They help guide you and prepare you for what lies ahead. And they are just the cutest most loving couples I have ever witnessed. You will not be disappointed in this retreat at all.

Thank you San Francisco Engaged Encounter for the wonderful retreat. We arrived on Friday a bit scared and nervous about how the retreat was going to be. Let me tell you we were so wrong! It was one of the best weekends we had together in a long time. We had amazing presenters sharing their personal stories. We learned so much more about each other. I am really glad we were able to do this. It really did bring us more closer together. Do not hesitate to register for your engaged encounter weekend. I promise you there will be no regrets!

Just came back from our weekend retreat and my fiancé and I both agree that it was by far one of the best things we have ever done for our relationship! We are already close and didn’t think any closer was possible, but this weekend proved us wrong.
The weekend was long and emotionally tolling, but it was such a rewarding experience. You really focus on exploring your feelings, values and your love. It challenges you to be completely honest with your fiancé and bare your soul. You don’t have to do this in front of other couples; it is very intimate and only between you and your fiancé.
The presenting couples were great. They were very thorough and generous, sharing very personal aspects of their relationship to help us understand, learn and hopefully grow in love with our significant other.
I can’t speak highly enough of the experience and what we are taking from it. We even plan on eventually volunteering after our wedding!
If you have the option to go, even if you’re not religious, go! The cost may seem a bit steep, but it will hopefully pay for it self and more as it gives you and your partner a foundation and tools to begin your marriage. They also help with scholarships for those who may needed so that no one is turned away and robbed of the rewarding experience. Good luck!

This will be a very long weekend if you don’t get a good night’s rest the Thursday before it begins. My fiancé is not Catholic and reluctantly agreed to attend because of my desire to get married in the Catholic Church. But by the end of it, we both agreed this was one of the best things we have done to strengthen our relationship and help us in our marriage.
My fiancé and I don’t really like to talk in front of strangers, especially about personal matters so we were worried about having to do this at the retreat… But we did not ONCE have to ask questions/​participate. Everything was kept private. It gave us a chance to express our feelings without being interrupted by the other person (mainly me! hehe. I’m a talker!).
Food was good (ice cream at lunch was my favorite!) and the beds comfy enough. Grounds are beautiful. Plenty of space to walk around and sit on benches to enjoy the sun while writing.
Don’t worry non-​Catholics, the presenters do quote scripture and the Sacrament of Marriage but it is not preach-​y.
I think this is a wonderful way for couples to really learn about and discuss what each other expects/​wants out of marriage and how to make it work. My fiancé and I have known each other for more than 10 years and it was quite nice knowing that we were on the same page.
I’d recommend this weekend to any couple who want to get married in the Church! :)

My fiancée and I were dreading this part of our requirement for our wedding. We knew it was going to be an «intense» weekend so we went in defensively. We entered into a group who were mixed, some both catholic, one catholic one not, etc. Everyone was very nice and our presenting couple was very involved. We also had a priest on hand which was not as «churchy» as I thought it would be. The Vallambrosa center had very nice grounds but the rooms need a remodel or two. They did however have heaters which was nice on these cold nights. Be prepared to room with someone of the same sex as you, assigned of course. I suggest earplugs and Advil PM just in case you have a snorer. They do provide extra toiletries in case you forget which was very considerate because I realized I forgot toothpaste (yikes). The food was okay. Some of these reviews proclaim that the food is great and let me tell you it was edible. Breakfast consisted of eggs, bacon or sausage, pancakes or waffles. It sounds good but trust me it was beyond greasy, slimy and it hurt an hour later. They do have fruit, oatmeal, bagels and cereal in case as well. I should have gone that route. Lunch was good. Chicken, veggies, rice I wish I had brought some fruit or nuts because the snacks everyone brought were chips, cookies, items that make you want to curl up and die after eating.
The meetings consisted of topics that you and your future spouse should consider before marriage. Finances, children, how church will play into your marriage (that was mentioned frequently). Over all the topics were actually very useful but what was difficult was the constant writing. Lots and lots of journal writing. We had some very hard talks but it also made us closer as well. We were able to get things off our chest that had been bothering us and I do believe it saved us the hassle of a therapist in a year or so.

I was pessimistic about my weekend here since I was never too fond of these retreats. My fiancé had friends that attended this in the past and enjoyed it so she wanted us to experience it. It was also recommended/​required by our priest before we got married. It was either this or two 8 hours days in a similar program at a local church. I was so glad that we chose this option! I did not only have a good time, but connected with my fiancé that I have never done before.
The class was hosted by two married couples that had already established a family. The program was about connecting with your significant other and the man upstairs (god). The writing assignments given were intense! The coursebook consisted of 75 pages of questions and information about marriage and family. You will also work in groups and chit chat about subjects regarding relationships, trust, life, etc.,
You and your fiancé will not be sleeping in the same room at night. You will be sharing a room with another person that is also part of the program. The rooms are super small but it does include a bathroom. I knocked off one star off my Unilocal rating because of the cold shower that happened on the last day. I guess everyone was thinking the same thing that morning!
The food provided was definitely above average. It was actually one of the spotlights of the weekend. On our last night, wine was served and I became a happy camper.
Overall, I had a wonderful time and I strongly recommend other couples to attend this retreat.

Needless to say, I was a little apprehensive heading into this sink-​or-​swim event. Fortunately, we had at great time!
This program helps engaged couples discuss marriage-​related topics that otherwise may not get much airtime. Two couples (volunteers) lead the weekend and facilitate discussions. Almost all of the discussions are fiancé-​to-​fiancée (NOT less-​personal group discussions). That said, the facilitators did an incredible job of sharing their journeys through marriage. Nice facilities and food is fine.
Both my fiancée and I agreed that this was a worthwhile event and worth doing again — but the «marriage» one this time!
T-​minus 11 days until we tie the knot…