Onyx Club

This has to be the worst strip club I’ve ever been too. The music is horrible and the bouncers lie. If a man named Kevin ever comes up to you and tells you that you can spend 250 for a table and a bottle, don’t believe him. He’ll come back later saying he never said that. I’ve been to better strip clubs in Phoenix.

I celebrated my ***21^st A-​Day here, and it was pretty cool strip club. I’ve been here maybe a few times after that but I don’t frequent that much anymore.
This is an AA club (the dancers are mostly African Anerican) and some of the seasoned dancers DO use the pole. But you will see mostly booty shaking in here. If you are into that, then this may be your place. If you like to see extensive technique on the pole then you should go someplace else. I think they have a «champagne room». I’ve never been inside though.
The parking lot could use more lighting and could be cleaned up a bit. They serve drinks but get bottle service and a section.

Pros– price 10 $ cover usually on any night.
Drinks– priced lower than average, most drinks can be had for 3 $.
Girls– ummm hmmm they ready lol. They come in all shapes and sizes. This is a predominantly black club, and I’m fine with that.
Cons– parking — valet or no valet???

Door girl is absolutely useless, brainless, and unhelpful. Had registered with Eventbrite for Free Admission and she suddenly makes up some BS about ‘that finished at 11:30.’ I just checked this honey, NOWHERE on the email flier, or my phone, does its say anything about ending at ANYTIME. We’re talking about Eventbrite here, so door girl, KNOW your job. DO your job. And at the very least be friendly about it. But no… I have to go through the whole ‘let me speak to a Manager’ routine, stand around while one is called. And guess what… they couldn’t be more swiftly understanding, professional, and usher me in with a handshake. And btw: Vicky at the back bar was terrific too. ALMOST made up for the unfriendly, and unprofessional door girl. Hey ONYX, ever heard about ‘first impressions.’ That’s your door staff!

I went for the first time last Wednesday & had the time of my life! They have 20 wings for 10 bucks so I splurged and got 40 lol. The dancers are average with the exception of a few depending on your preference. My new fav is brook show and brazil.

My Experience with this place was terrible from Start to finish. First the website says they open at 7pm. As a working adult just trying to enjoy some food, music, and fun on a Wednesday night and still go to bed for work the next morning I arrived promptly at 7pm. The staff was not set up, the music was not on, the drawer was not in the register, the kitchen was not even open. As a person who used to work in the nightclub industry, my manager would have lost it if we weren’t ready when the club opened. After sitting for an entire hour waiting for the kitchen to open we finally give our order. Because we were starving from sitting for a whole hour i ordered two things and figured I would take whatever I did not eat with me. I ate, the the food was pretty good. At the end of the meal I ask for a box and the server says «o we don’t do to go boxes». I ask her why she didn’t tell me that when she watched me order two entrees for myself. She says «I mean I can eat all 20 wings». We call over the manager who then tells me I can buy a to go box for $ 10 or they are gonna to throw out the 18 wings I did not eat. I was honestly astonished. My friend and I were talking to the girl about the online menu (which is inaccurate) when we ordered the food and we clearly had never been there and had no knowledge of the policy. So I agree to pay for the box. The girl then comes over because not only is the box $ 10 but I have to pay the $ 10 in cash, this is a joke right. I pay the ten in cash and leave her a 13 cent tip so she knows how terrible of a server she is. Why wouldn’t you tell two small girls ordering a table of food that they can’t take it with them? I could have sat there all night and not eaten that much. I love a good strip club and have been to them in ten states and in Europe. I won’t be back to this one.

I’ve been here several times and the wings are good. Some beautiful ladies that can really dance. Its ok for a guy that want that fantasy. For me the wings and the entertainment just in watching guys go crazy to over the women. I just look and laugh lol… But no a good place to hang out and enjoy good music, wings, drinks, and entertainment.

: Yawn :
I had high hopes for Onyx. I was genuine excited about going to a strip club in Houston, because. .. well. .. it’s Houston (and Drake raps so often about his affinity for Houston strippers). And Onyx was highly recommended by the friends I informally polled.
We arrived at 10 pm on a Saturday evening. Only a handful of tables were full. The only way to get a table is to order a good amount of food, drinks, bottles, and/​or hookah. My friends and I opted for hookah with a few rounds of drinks.
The club was dimly lit. There was a large mainstage at the center of the room and a smaller stage towards the back. There was also what appeared to be a VIP area, that unfortunately, I was neither interested enough or interesting enough to attempt to enter. Some of the larger lower portioned and more attractive strippers entered and exited the VIP area.
The strippers varied in shapes and sizes — there was really something for everyone. There was an over abundance of strippers with booty injections (probably 65%) and booty-​length weaves. The strippers basically did rotations between the main stage, smaller stage and walking around/​spending one-​on-​one time with the patrons. The performances were so-​so. There were a couple that did some exceptional pole work, but the vast majority just twerked — and not particularly exciting twerking either. Some of the strippers looked straight up bored, which just made it worse. One dancer spent her entire performance looking at herself in the mirror as she «twerked,“as if she was in her bedroom practicing half-​heartedly and none of us were there. Most everyone in the club looked unfortunately bored. This lackluster display lasted for about two hours and I mostly entertained myself on Instagram. My friend paid for a lap dance for me from one of the better looking dancers. The dance was solid and her skin was cocoa butter soft. The dancer thereafter spent 45 minutes sitting on my friend’s lap, sipping the drinks he bought her and sharing stores about her life. At the end of the 45 minutes, she requested $ 80.
Between 12 AM and 1 AM something changed. Apparently, it became baller hour. Youngish men entered, bottles started being purchased and the strippers came alive. They — some of whom I hadn’t seen until that point — flocked quickly to what I can only assume were their regular customers. This was also fairly entertaining because the dancers were competitive with one another for the attention of these ballers — like exchanging dirty glances, pushing each other away and claiming territories. This was slightly more entertaining that the stage performances, but not enough to draw me away from Instagram.
Overall, the dancers at Onyx are not trying to pretend that this is anymore of a hustle. Very different from the other strip clubs I’ve been to where there is at least a bit of an illusion of genuine interest in the patrons. It’s also difficult to get a significant amount of attention from the more quality strippers, unless you have a bottle on your table, but even then you can probably find more entertaining moves on Youtube.

Liked this club; reserved a table with a bottle of ciroc near the stage. When we got there, they did not have a table near the stage, so they seated us in the celebrity section but vowed to get us a table near the stage as soon as one opened up, which they did in about 20 minutes (shot out to Josh for following through). We had a great night, ordered 10 or so table dances from various girls and ordered a hookah. Most of the girls were very nice and didn’t play games to drum up money. Received a dance from one of the girls (I don’t remember her name, but she is dark skinned and thin with kinky hair and very few tattoos); she pulled the «i’m going to keep dancing and continue to charge you without asking if you want me to continue» move. Since I had been having such a good time with the straight forward dancers earlier in the night, I let my guard down, which I shouldn’t have. Because of this, after 5 songs, it was $ 100. Had a couple of girls try to pull the «we’re just gonna dance for you and charge you after» move, but after about 10 seconds of them dancing, I stopped them and asked who in our group ordered the dance; when they said no one, I told them we weren’t paying for it and they left.
All in all, the staff was very cool (again, shout out to Josh, the manager, he was great); but you definitely have to watch the girls, especially if the night is going slow, they will try to get over on you.

Fuck this place 100% 5 ppl just walked out with regular thirts and they said we can’t come in because of what we have on. They got the manager and he couldn’t even explain himself.

Ass ass ass all I can say some real some fake it doesn’t matter, love this place forvall the sexy black women wed night 2 dollar specials can’t beat that, unless you beat off yourself

I came here last year for allstar weekend and so absolutely loves it, biggest bookies in town, hood type chicks and only $ 10 to get in, every time I leave I feel dirty

Ladies where good for the most part. Drinks are ridiculously priced. First drink served was in a severely chipped glass. Keep you situational awareness high and money out of sight.

Nice and clean gentlemens club! The entertainers were pretty nice too

Definitely was not impressed! The music was the best part.

There are 2 things I love about best friends weddings. One is getting to see all my friends and the second are bachelor parties.
Wanted a private party but we decided to head to Club Onyx instead on a Wednesday night. There were 5 of us and more than enough ladies to go around. All the women we saw were 4 – 5 stars with beautiful faces and amazing bodies to match. Most importantly they took care of our guy, making sure he enjoyed the last few nights of freedom.
I really wanted to give this place 5 stars but I dropped 3 stars over one girl. I wasn’t there for a dance, I was there to get my best friend as many dances as a soon to be married lap could take. One girl kept hanging around our table. She was friendly and seemed cool and then basically kept begging me to let her dance for me. I let her dance for me and next thing I know she was trying to charge me for 3 dances.
Not cool at all. Ultimately it was handled but that was a tad ridiculous and just adds fuel to the fire of why I stay away from gentlemen clubs.

My fav. gentlemens club in Houston… for sure. You get hood with cleanliness and overall hot women.
3 reasons I go regularly:
1. $ 2 Tuesdays!
2. My girl Celebrity (oooh, she gets all my $)
3. The MUSIC!
I highly recommend it over High Rollers, Legends and Foxxys (even though I have a lot of fun there)…
The service is just how you imagine a strip club to be– not enough servers, but they are friendly and nice though. Management is cool, but the door guy is definitely not getting any from any of the girls (seems angry all the time).
Thats enough for now. Dont be scuuured. You might find yourself having a good time and getting a few dollas thrown your way from the thunder storms that happen ever-​so-​often… lol. Check it out.

You have to check them out on a weekend, you would never think there was a recession going on. This is where I learned to make it rain. I don’t see that enough in Chicago. In here? That shit was a constant. The dudes that are swollen, big, meaty motherf%$ers are the ones with the fat stacks. I’ve never ever seen people hand a stripper a fat stack of singles, think fat pristine freshly printed stack with the money ribbon; like what you’d get from the bank. The stack was so heavy it just flipped out of her thong. There are fat booty ladies, thick and lovely, slender and tall, and cottage cheesy, seems that most men like’em all here. Of all the clubs I saw while in town, this club showed the most appreciation to it’s dancers. The dancer has so much money, they bring out a garbage bag to carry their money. As far as pole talent, the most I’ve seen in Houston, right here. Most southern strip bars do that lazy crap, lady just shakes the fat of her bootay. Meh. Being from Chicago, it was a surprise to me to see lovely lovely women (patrons) come to the club just to watch, with their friends or boyfriends. I think every dancer in here was African American and most of the clientele were as well. Everyone was friendly and the door people and security were on top of their game. Is table service non existent? Could just be that we arrived at the club when they cut off the alcohol.
The exterior white palace like walls of the building does not match the lounge like pool hall interior.
(Cover was $ 10 before midnight (I’d like to say midnight, it’s a constant throughout Houston, after a specific time all these clubs charge 50% more for cover) Parking is a private lot, without a charge.

This is the second installment of a review which began with my review of Cedar Creek. that review is above this one on my profile
«My Inauguration Day night out» Part 2.
Got to Sam’s Boat around 9’ish and met up with my pal Wendy. We ordered a couple of beers and chatted for a while. I explained to Wendy what a bad week it had been. We had thousands of dollars worth of tools stolen from the test site on the weekend and then I never got a mention on ‘The Real Men of Unilocal’ circular! Not on! Must have been that review of the Spa I wrote when i talked about Metrosexuals and Manbags!
He said «Hang on a minute. We are here in Sam’s Boat and there’s a Mens Club next door isn’t there? Lets go there, that is manly stuff and you can write it up»
I had already written a Unilocal review for a Houston Mens Club called ‘All Stars’ and that was a 1* joke but I thought, sod it, lets go for it. Why not?
We chugged our beers and made our way to Onyx…
At the door a bouncer stopped us.
Him: «Got your ID»
Me: «Here it is mate»
Him: «You from Australia»
Me: «No mate, England»
Him: «London?»
Me: «No, Mars mate. It’s just above London» (that went straight over his head)
Him: «Gonna need to search ya»
Me: «That’s alright pal, left my Bow and Arrows on the nightstand»
Him: «Haha, Man, You Australians are all jokers… You’re clean. Go on in»
Paid the $ 20 each cover and walked inside.
First thing you notice when you walk in. It is dark and you hit a wall of sound. Music is REALLY LOUD.
Small bar dead ahead. To the right is a stage and to the right of that are the toilets and an ATM. On the left was a small podium with a Pole. We headed straight for the bar but got jumped on by a BOBFOC** type lass.
She: «Hey sweetie, where y’goin»
Me: «Gonna get a drink love»
She: «You from Australia?!»
Me: «Yep» (you didn’t think I was going to go through all that again did you?)
She: «My name is Hollywood, what’s yours?»
Me: «Joel … Joel Rebocks» (She never got it.)
She: «Do you want me to come with you to the bar babe?»
Me: «No thanks, I can manage OK from here»
She: «OK, see you later Blue eyes»
We ordered a couple of large Vodka Red Bulls and I got change from a 20 spot so that was good. We took a table by the small podium where the music wasn’t so loud and took in the scenery. Girls here come in all shapes and sizes, something for everyone. They were all generally good looking with the odd fugly but, it is a matter of taste I guess. Common to them all were the costumes which could easily double as dental floss. Not much imagination required here.
There was some real RRRrrrrumpa Bumpa Pumping going on on the stage and Baby Bash’s «Cyclone» was tune of the night. It appeared to play every 20 minutes. Nothing too much wrong with that but at the volume setting they had it at, it was more like «Baby Bash Your Ears In».
The volume had gone up further and it was difficult to hear and the reverb was that strong that the glasses were shaking and moving round like they were on a Ouija board!
The BOBFOC lass turned up again. All I could hear was every other word.
She: «…Baby, … for. dance»
Me: «No thanks, OK for the min»
She: «We … broom in … back if … want?»
Me: «A broom. What do you mean?»
She: «What Baby?»
Me: SHOUTING NOW …“JUST HERE FOR A DRINK, MAYBE LATER“
She heard that OK.
I had seen from the bar that there was a pool table and so I tapped my mate on the shoulder and motioned to go through. We spent the rest of the evening there, as you could hear yourself talk, and we got drinks brought to us.
The one thing that stands out about this club is how none of the girls tried to pressure us into spending money. Lots of them came and chatted with us and just seemed curious as to what two White blokes were doing in Onyx. I did a count back this morning and I reckon I spent around $ 100 all in and had a really good night. Just the tinnitus that is bothering me now.
When we left at around 1:30AM the BOBFOC** lass was pre-​occupied with another customer and appeared to be helping him find his lunchbox so we skirted by and the bouncer who had searched me earlier gave us a friendly «See y’all. Did you have a good time?»
«Yes thanks mate, We are just heading back to Oz» I replied
«Got to go feed Toto»
He didn’t get that joke either …
**BOBFOC — Body off Baywatch, Face off Crimewatch.

Club Onyx is located right behind Sams Boat on Richmond and adjacent to Uptown Hookah Bar. It is somewhat of a Houston institution. Whenever someone thinks of going to an A.A. gentlemens club, this is the place that’s usually recommended.
It is owned by the Rick’s Corporation and they do a pretty good job of promoting the place. It is ok on the inside, nothing too glamorous or run down. They have a few champaigne and VIP rooms and the wait staff is friendly.
The girls are hit or miss. I’ve gone in here several times and seen my future ex-​wife (marinate on that a minute) and I’ve seen women that made me cringe in fear. However, they have cornered the market on Tues night entertainment. $ 2 cover, dances, and drinks on Tues. That, along with 25 cent wings on Tues makes it a pretty hard deal to beat.