M.A.C. Cosmetics

I make a habit of vehemently denying any ounce of femininity. It’s useless! It’s time-​consuming! Why should I shave my legs? What is this crap I’m supposed to put on my face?
However, over the years I’ve developed a very distinct weakness for makeup — specifically the makeup made by MAC. Never fear, though — my love of it is entirely due to my not-​so-​secret persona as a drag queen (hence my love for colors, glitter, and very tall boots). MAC makes some outstanding makeup that’s fairly reasonably priced in an outstanding array of colors. Yes, it’s more expensive than your average drugstore eyeshadow, but it blends so perfectly that even I (a mere tadpole in the pond of makeup application) can work with up to three colors on my eyelid.
The people working at every MAC store or counter I’ve ever been to have been flawlessly made up (by themselves!) and perfect partners in my my-​neck-​threw-​up-​color crimes. I’ve gone from fire engine red hair to pink to green to blue to purple to black and every single time they’ve seemed downright giddy at the prospect of swathing my face in obnoxiously bright hues.
Last night? I walked in, said «I like looking like a peacock — please give me a new look» and walked out with three new eyeshadows, an pot of eye. base. stuff (too much terminology for my non-​makeup-​wired brain), their Zoom mascara (which makes my lashes look huge to the point of being fake), black eye kohl, and a couple of brushes. Normally I would have gotten a little light-​headed at the total that appeared on the register, but I can’t help it — my inner diva needs to come out (preferably to the tune of «If I Could Turn Back Time.»)
Go let their employees work their magic — you’ll wear colors you never dreamed you could. Hell, they turned me on to orange!

«So, where do you buy your makeup?» Asks my coworker, self-​described «200-​lb Barbie doll», a woman whose clothes, shoes, makeup, and general look are so well put together that they only thing that tops her outward appearance is her awesome/​commanding personality, both of which sometimes make people stop dead in their tracks. She’s hot and in charge.
Me: «Um… from the clearance bin at Walgreen’s?»
Coworker, recoils in horror and says, «Not anymore.» And we load up into her monstrous Hummer and high-​tail it up to the Clackamas Nordstrom’s M.A.C. counter. «She needs a bunch of shit,» she tells them. Whoah. I barely know how to put the stuff on, and I am so ridiculously cheap I’m feeling a little panicked that nothing has prices listed.
I tell the gal what I want and to pick it out for me. I do not trust myself to know which colors/​blends to buy but the counter gal’s makeup is so awesome and perfect, I know she’ll set me right up. I walk out with Studio Fix pressed powder and a new variety of concealer. When it comes time to ring up my coworker’s purchases, this gal not only knew exactly what she wanted ahead of time but they track everything in a profile system and basically know every detail of her purchase history. Sort of creepy? No. Kind of cool.
Got home, tried the new concealer, didn’t like it. Not the right color. Back to M.A.C. (by myself! look at me go…), and an awesome guy there was so helpful and friendly, I decided to go nuts and bought a bunch more– eye shadow, lipsticks, and he ordered me a different concealer (promised to be the same kind the drag queen set prefers).
There was something thrilling about a man doing my makeup. I can’t quite put my finger on why this tickled my fancy, but I really enjoyed it. And his makeup, by the way, was flawless. Loads of fun trying on all sorts of wild colors of face paint, that I would never normally have the guts to wear. He was personable, professional, and totally knowledgeable about the products. That face stick I had my eye on? «That’s what I use!» Nice.
Besides awesome products, M.A.C. is also committed to HIV/​AIDS charities and has a recycling program– bring back 6 empties and get a free lipstick. Their stuff is a little more expensive than oh, I dunno– the clearance bin at Walgreen’s, but really not too expensive in the grand scheme of the cosmetic world (or so I’m told). The face powders are around $ 20 and lipsticks around $ 12 – 15. M.A.C. wants you to be happy and hot, and they will take back anything you don’t LOVE.
I walked out of there singing, «My lip gloss is cool, my lip gloss be poppin’, standing at my locker, all the boys be stoppin’…»
I be lovin’ it, I be I be lovin’ it!