Last Chance

Watered down drinks. Crappy service. Our bartender had a snappy attitude. Seriously, it’s not our fault that you hate your job. I hate giving bad reviews but come on how hard is it to smile.

Like 8 or 9 years ago I rented a two bedroom apartment for $ 500 on Monticello, not far from the YMCA where I played basketball after work. I was definitely a minority back then and was given the opportunity to practice all the Spanish I learned in school. I loved living there. I could walk to the El, walk to get awesome burritos, pizza, fries from Ziggy’s and beer from the corner store anytime.
I did not have cable, so when I wanted to watch a Bulls game on cable, I would walk to Last Chance Lounge. If you think Danny’s or L&L Tavern are dive bars, you ain’t seen nuthin’!!! I’m not afraid of much and am not intimidated to enter the shittiest or diviest establishments, but Last Chance was pretty rough. I walked in and was a little startled by who LC’s patrons were. Given the demographic of the neighborhood then, I was expecting Hispanic men with cowboy hats and knives in their belts. But, it was like a bunch of bar brawlin’ confederate flag lovin’ hilbillies suckin’ down whiskey in the heart of a predominantly Latino neighborhood!
I don’t know about you (and I’m obviously white), but I feel much safer in a bar on North side of Cicero than in a hilbilly bar. Even though I was wearing an old flannel and old ripped jeans, I must have had an initial facial expression that made me look out of place. I was instantly «befriended» by a man who went by the name «Alabama». «Okay, just be agreeable to anything he says,» said my brain. «Be happy for once that you’re white and you might not die here tonight!» For some reason he thought I was a yuppie because I wore glasses and could speak complete sentences. So I get a beer and a shot and we play some pool. Fortunately, I kicked his ass at pool (last pocket) with a double bank shot on the 8 ball and this won his respect. «You’re no yuppie!» he slurred. «No yuppie could shoot a double like that!»
Alabama liked to shake my hand every 5 or 6 minutes and yell «heeeeeyyyyy !!!» It reminded me of the «Waz Uuuuuup?» guys on the Budweiser commercials a couple of years ago. And, every time I wondered where the hell that hand had been!
Next there was this dude falling asleep at the bar with his finger up his nose. The bartender then smacked him and woke him up to… yes…prepare the complimentary hot dogs in the warmer for the Bulls game. And yes, he was handling everything «edible»! It was like watching the scene in Mallrats where Brody sticks his hand up his ass and then shakes hands with Brandy’s dad and the close-​up shot of Brandy’s dad eating the chocolate covered pretzels!
Anyhow, I came here several times to watch sports and never really got fucked with. Then I heard about someone getting shot out front after a brawl and did not go back. I found out that Last Chance closed a few years ago because they had their liquor license revoked for allowing gambling to take place in the bar.
I don’t have any real reason to review LC since it’s closed, but wanted to share my story to anyone who wants to read. I never did try the hot dogs here. =)