Crescendo

Dude… if I wanted to go to a sausage party, I would’ve gone to The Publican

I can’t stand when I read a review for a night club & it says this place is filled with wierdos or a group of people tried to buy me & my friends a round of drinks. If you go to a nightclub expect this. If you don’t then go back to the suburbs & go to a bar with a jukebox.
This nightclub has been around for a few years but they have decided to close it down & remodel it. This nightclub is not huge but is bigger than a few others. The club used to have very good Wednesday nights but lately has only been good on Friday & Saturday. It would have been nice if the entire club wasn’t just tables for bottle service. Other than that the place is pretty nice.
The nightclub is designed mostly for bottle service & has one main bar. They have a DJ for music & the entire downstairs is used only for the restrooms.
They usually charge a $ 20 cover & the drink prices are abou tthe same as any other night club. I like the location of this night club because there are about 4 other night clubs with in half a block. Overall this place was pretty fun & good music. I look forward to seeing how they remodel this night club.

This is the type of place where douche bags pull up in their rented Mercedes’ acting like it’s a McLaren, wear Christian Audigier, and dance with their sunglasses on.
The inside smells like desperation, Abercrombie Fierce, and Baby Phat. Once inside, you will see a lot of Bachlorettes. And a lot of their friends. You will hear a lot of squealing.
Save your sanity and stay away from this place. Unless you want to go for the laugh. Then I encourage you.

My friends and I came here for a bachelorette party the past Saturday. We got bottle service (2 bottles of grey goose I believe) for about $ 550. Yeah, it is pricey, but that’s bottle service for you in a club. Our server was cute, attentive, and fun to dance with.
The crowd was, for the most part, friendly. Other guests in the club congratulated the bachelorette, danced politely (not creepily — thank goodness) with us, and helped us take group photos with my AWESOME Samsung Galaxy S3 camera. However, there was an idiot that stole our bottle of grey goose and chugged it. The best the bouncers could do was kick the guy out. I expected the entire bottle to be comped.
Overall, we had fun, but the DJ could have done a better job with the music. He played parts of, maybe about, five top 40 songs between midnight and 5am, which were the best dancing parts of the evening. The rest of the music was a made up of like Skrillex and super duper euro-​house/​trance music. The only dance move I could think of was shaking violently like a vibrating blender trying to crush concrete blocks.
Perhaps glow stix would have made my night better. Swinging around my S3 with the flashlight app on was awkward. The bouncer had to politely request me to turn the blinding light off. I love my Samsung Galaxy S3.

I’ll try and keep this one short.
I was repeatedly told to come here but was disappointed — definitely too much hype.
Pro’s —
(1) it’s open until 5
(2) music is above average
Con’s —
(1) Lack of dance floor, I think this place was more VIP tables than regular seating/​dancing area
(2) Crowd is older than I had expected — every table/​group seemed to get awkwardly drunk as if it were their rare night out and they were going to milk it. Not too much interacting with other people, very clique-​ish.
(3) Asked for a glass of water and got slammed with VOSS which was $ 6. When I asked for tap, I got annoyed look from bartender. Drinks were coordinately pricey.
(4) There was a cover ($ 20). Unless it’s going to be worth it, I am not a big believer in paying cover in big cities where free (and better) nightlife options are available.
(5) Area could be a bit better. Definitely stay around Hubbard Street if you want to club/​bar hop to a few other places after.
Come here if.
…you’re 35+ and the kids are in bed.
…you and your coworkers finished a project and are ready to rage no matter what.
…you’re lost and in dire need of VOSS water.

Even I am surprised I was in this place. However the bouncer/​security lured me with a bottle of free champagne. I was really supposed to be going to Y Bar (see review) and was hesitating on the sidewalk and the bouncer offered it up. Um… ok!
Upon entering, thoughts were, «WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE???»
GD. I know I am no spring chicken but what the hell is going on? haha. So needless to say, it was great people watching. And let’s face it, anything free is hard to pass up. However, after the bottle, we were out.

Weird layout… No real dance floor so it’s pretty awkward… Weird people… Not a great atmosphere… Creepy people… You get the point. Good music though!

Eww. A bunch of our friends were there one night so we (4 girls) came over after leaving another club. Almost as soon as entering, a hostess accosted us and asked if we were alone (and without guys). We said yes and she led us to a table of 30-​somethings and brought us out drinks. Free drinks? Sure. But the whole thing was shady and awkward. If the guys wanted to buy us drinks, cool. Hostesses being the middlemen? Weird.
The place was filled with creeps and really I guess it’s only good for guys who want to sit and watch their «dancers» up on the stage.
I’m also seeing that a lot of people are paying $ 20 covers… really? Not worth it. There are plenty of great clubs in Chicago with way cheaper covers. We got in for free and still wouldn’t come back (even after we were offered free bottle service.)

I walked in and the first thing I saw were massage chairs. What? Why? There was also a girl doing manicures at one of the tables. What a strange thing to do in a club. Also the the manicurist came over to me and my friend later accusing us of taking her nail polish. Seriously, why would I do that?
The décor isn’t that bad, but the layout is strange and not conducive to… having fun. There’s the bar, a bunch of roped off VIP tables, and that’s about it. No one there seemed to be enjoying themselves, but maybe it’s because I was there on a slow night. We had one drink and left, and I don’t see any reason to come back.

This place blows. Just a terrible layout for a club. I like to dance when I get my drink on and spend money at the club, but there is nowhere good to dance here and mingle. There’s a bar, some VIP areas, and the in between walk areas where people try to dance. I hate that sh! t! Ugh. Soundbar and Spybar have much better dance floors and layouts.
I saw a lot of short tight skirts, but none with pretty faces. The guys were nothing of interest. The drinks were expensive, but not terrible. At least, not the one I had, as I had to jet out of this place after a half hour. I didn’t want to waste any more of a Saturday night on a place like this.
If the drinks are free, and your friends are going to be here, then go. But otherwise, go somewhere else, for sure!

First off, if you’re not a certain ethnic background on a busy weekend night, don’t expect to get in unless you hand some cash to the bouncer (and that might not work).
One particular evening I tried to come here alone; I had a dark blazer on, fitted designer denim, kenneth cole shirt and shoes. The bouncer (caucasian male) says «only people on the list can get in tonight», the guy didnt even have a list, it was basically –if you dont fit our profile, we’re not letting you in– He let multiple people walk pass me who were of a certain ethnic background. I spoke to another bouncer (african american male) and he said «they don’t want to let black people in tonight». This was by far the worst experience I’ve ever had in my own city. Stay away from this place!!!

Friday night after my gig at NV Penthouse I met up with my girl Tanya to, well continue going out I guess. So we went to «Crescendo». Why? Well because Privet sucked, and I know that as Le Passage is wasn’t doing well so they made it Privet but really now it like hardcore sucks. Ok that’s for another review tho.
So we hit creepsville. Ok look, I club a lot I hit the downtown spots, west loop, wicker park, northside etc. I basically live eat and breath clubs, and if they had showers I probably would never leave. But, this club. Wow. Ok so I’m use to the downsides of the nightlife, expensive drinks, lack of parking, douche bags, drug addicts/​dealers etc, creepy dudes. But never in my life had I been surrounded by so MANY creeps. Wow!
Ok that America’s Next Top Model Winner from Chicago was there, cool I guess. But what’s with all the creepy stalker dudes, man? Even creepy stalker staring women, OMG. I mean we walked into the joint barely dressed appropriately enough, and they just saw bitches who weren’t in mini skirts, shiny silver tops and platform heels and charged. Holy cripes. I was like running laps around the awkwardly centered VIP section which basically takes up the whole joint, to get away from them, like creepy puppies. And what’s up with that layout anyway? Who puts elevated VIP seating in the middle of the freaking club leaving a track-​esque thin passageway around to run laps in trying to get away from creeps? Where exactly was the dancefloor suppose to be in this biatch?
Why give me a Jack and Pepsi when I ask for Coke? That shiz is nasty, tell me you don’t got coke, Ill get something else, man. I’ll get an Johnny Walker on the rocks, make you more money. But don’t lie to me!
Ok so look the music was pretty good, I ain’t gonna lie. Dj was tight, sounds system good for Chicago standards, still no Mid. Don’t compare to my love, The Mid. Big ups to the cloth towels in the bathroom to wipe your hands with though, saving some trees. I respect that. However, unfortunately it prolly is also the most redeemable quality of this club. Because once you get outside the bathroom, there will be creepers, waiting.

I am a laid back chill kinda gal, but I just don’t get this place… at all!!!
I have been here on several occassions… mostly dragged in by others… and have yet to have an amazing time.
The staff all seems to be fine, don’t recall any issues ever with any of them, but don’t really recall anything fabulous about them either. The regular patrons at this place… just don’t even know how to describe them. People have described them as chic, stuck up, etc… I am not even sure that they fit into those categories. There are a lot of D-​Bag gals and guys that come to this place and I just never get a good vibe from any of them.
The bathrooms are always dirty and gross and there is always some weird girl drama going down in the bathroom when I am there.
I think others are starting to feel this way. I was here this past weekend and it was not busy at all.
I hope my friends NEVER drag me back to this place… there are so many better clubs in Chicago to spend an evening in!!!

Hmmm. This place is give or take. Sometimes I have the best time ever and sometimes I am swamped by weird foreigners who still use the term discothèque. Regardless, I would never come here on a weekend (Thursdays are usually the best night), unless I was drunk. Then that’s where the battle begins…
The military outside can be mighty intense depending on who you are with and what password you know. It has a Studio 54 feel, with the bouncers pointing and grabbing whomever to come in, while leaving the losers out to cross the streets to Ontourage. They are also very keen not to let hammered people in, especially if you do not look good. I recall a specific incidence in which, I did not look good, yet my super drunk friend did and I was not let in, because I was too drunk — though I hadn’t been drinking at all (we didn’t stay). Jedi mind tricks I tell you.
So if you manage to get past the Nazi’s you will walk up some stairs to a quasi large cattle herd of starer’s and girls who do not know how to stand in heels. It’s okay, one day they will learn and will be welcomed into Cuvee.
You will see a long bar, and hands trying to get drinks. This shouldn’t be hard if you are regular, or if you can find a regular who will buy you drinks — hence the three stars, it is way too easy for men to throw cash around in this place.
From there you will get drunk and from there you will end up staying till close and possibly falling to your death while attempting to use the bathroom. The spiral staircase leading down is a death trap, especially when ape like men have no concerns for those women who can’t walk in heels.
There is a huge section for VIP /​bottle service, which makes sense because the vast majority of losers let in have to buy bottles to get in or else … yup they are crossing the street to Ontourage. So I give this place mixed reviews. Its a vortex of love and hate. I recommend girls coming if they are broke and need someone to buy drinks. They also play good music — mix between hits and house. Bar service is generally quick, if you hit up the Indian guy usually at the far end.

Came here for New Years day party with a group of 6. 3 girls, 3 guys. We killed a handle and a fifth of smirnoff as a pregame before going to a bar close by and drinking 3 redbull vodkas and jäger bombs. So we were really trashed by the time we rolled up to Crescendo. The bouncer looked at us and was literally about to say that we were too drunk to get in but I managed to say I wanted bottle service before he could reject us. So he got onto his radio and got someone to come out.
Well. Somehow, I managed to only have to get 1 bottle which is all we really needed after the ridiculous pregame. $ 250 for the bottle of Goose and we had a small table overlooking the dance floor. We could just fit everyone into our booth. They probably could have given us a bigger one but didn’t even though there were a couple bigger ones open. Especially considering that we were pulling in girls like mad to our booth. There was nowhere to really put them.
Our waitress was super hot as were the girls in this club. I found one of my friends at the bar ordering shots because he had forgotten that we had a table and vodka already at the bar.
They did play a lot of techno which is not really my style but I went along with it. The bathrooms are located downstairs which are by entrance. The dance floor is kind of small because they have a ton of tables everywhere and the bar is located near the entrance.

This place is pretentious. Bouncers can be real jerks but I guess that’s what they’re paid to do. I have been here twice and both times, they played electronica with the same beats over and over and over. I made the best of it though. There really isn’t much of a dance floor though. They have more seating area which gives it a lounge feel. The drink prices are ridiculous.
I have to admit however, the girls are beautiful here especially the go-​go dancers. The men, on the other hand, are pervy and too forward.
Also, the bathrooms are in the basement so the only way down is a stairwell, which can be a bit tricky when there’s a bunch of drunk people walking in front and behind you. The bathroom attendant is very nice at least. They actually use real linen napkins instead of paper napkins. Nice touch.

This place is alright. It’s your typical club, only smaller. It gives a lounge feel; however, it can be difficult to navigate because of the narrow walking areas. My biggest problem was dealing with all of the steps to get to the bathroom. Oy, my legs were killing by the end of the night.
Music was typical top 40s mixed in with some dance hits and remixes. It wasn’t too hard to keep on moving and grooving. The people were pretty friendly. But what is the big deal with hired dancers? I don’t get it. You have to pay people to dance to get other people to dance? This is something that I will never understand.

Ok, so I’ll give this place two more stars because I had a slightly better experience here at a private event than I did last time I was here. I still don’t like the layout of the place, hate having to climb a spiral staircase in heels to get from the entrance to the bar area, only to find out the coat check is downstairs, all the way back down the staircase and another floor below that.
Lighting was much better this time. Too many people were crowded by the bar area because the seating in the club cut the space in half and if you wanted to mingle you had to stand by the crowded bar area. Drinks were stiff and service at the bar was good and fast.

Lame.
The exact same thing that happened to Rosanna L. happened to a birthday party I was with this weekend. They had «no record» of a reservation for 25 people. All of us were forced to buy wristbands for $ 30 each, and by the time we were done with those idiots at the door, it was 10:30. The wristbands expired at midnight.
After 12 am, we were able to get «bottle service.» It was cheap champagne no one wanted.
There isn’t a real dance floor, either. Just a large open space by the bar that gets filled up with My New Haircuts and girls with a skin color that’s on the orange side. There’s a center section with go-​go dancers, and booths surrounding that. There’s also a bizarre track that runs around the room at the top of the booths. The bouncer will immediately scream at you to come down if you climb the steps and go on it.
That didn’t stop one very cracked-​out Russian dude next to our group to dance like a hamster on meth the whole time on the steps.
In addition to the wristbands, service is horrible here. Bartenders, I know you’re having a great time talking to each other, but there’s a huge group of people waiting for drinks at the bar. Even the mensroom attendant had an attitude: «You ain’t gotta run outta here!» Uuh, yea, I don’t party in bathrooms covered in vomit at 11:30 pm…
The music is nothing special. Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Black Eyed Peas, and remixes of hip-​hop and pop hits that came out earlier this decade. If I wanted to hear B96 at an ear-​shattering level, I would have hung out with a bunch of teenagers.

Went here for a birthday part last night. The promoter that set things up for my friend wasn’t even present and they didn’t even have a list for us. So half of us got their early and they let us in and the other half they made them pay for wrist bands ($ 40)! They ripped people off. A few more friends got there around 12a/12:15a and the club entrance won’t let them in w/​out buying a wrist band either and the open bar for wrist band ends at 12:30a!
We ended up getting a table and when we told the people in front they were saying all this sh! t about us buying one bottle for a lot of people. WHO CARES! Other clubs definitely don’t care how many people you come with!
The music was horrible! They had a fashion show for their one year and they closed off the bathrooms so NO ONE could use it during that time, which is uncalled for. I don’t recommend this place and I won’t be coming back.