Pizza Hut

Good staff and my pizza always looks picture perfect.

I guess anyone’s question would be «Why the hell would you pick-​up from Pizza Hut?» I could list the answers; It’s convenient, fairly priced (large with stuff $ 10.00), has on-​line ordering, G’s pizza on the North Trail is a schlep, and Miccio’s on Lockwood Ridge Rd is never open when we are.
In one of our «lets pretend we’re living in the 80’s moments» my wife invited neighbors over for a night of pizza and conversation. She got their preference («just plain, we’re not into stuff on our pizza») and I began the internet ordering process.
We’ll list the experience numerically:
1. Their site REQUIRES your address when ordering for pick-​up. Listing your zip code alone would direct you to the nearest store. So with every order, Pizza Hut gets to update their mailing list!
2. I’m no computer genius but am pretty knowledgeable and should be able to navigate a national chain pizza site. WRONG. Have to re-​start the order (and add my address) three times and still never got it right. I wanted two pizzas, one plain, one extra cheese and pepperoni, the system coughed up one, then three, then four.
3. Let’s go to the phones… a pleasant but harried sounding young lady answered and started the canned spiel, «Why not start with dessert and try our Cinnamon sticks and dipping sauce?» Huh? I know she’s just doing her job… but let’s get these two damn pizzas ordered!
4. Order is placed and the order taker goes for the close; «How about a trip down «Wing Street».ahh no thanks. «Would I like some warm bread sticks with marinara dipping sauce?» Nothing quite like some rocket shaped dough to go with your pizza, I’ll pass on that too. Now we’re all set, hot gooey pizza only 15 to 20 minutes away!
5. The sign states «If we don’t show you your pizza at pick-​up, it’s FREE»! I guess corporate knows something I didn’t. The order was wrong. They promptly placed an order for the missing pizza and after a 10 minute wait rewarded me with the incorrect pizza along with my order. Wow three pizzas for the price of two.
6. All three were over cooked, dry and devoid of any real cheese, including the pepperoni pizza ordered with extra cheese. There is something on the pizza that looks like cheese however it doesn’t taste or act (that stringy thing when you pull pieces apart) like cheese. In a word: horrible.
I thought I hit the Mother Lode with that free pizza, but it’s more like the booby prize. It’s spending its final days sitting in the fridge hoping for a late night trip through the microwave to heat up a slice or two. That pizza and a few slices from the other two will be making their next appearance in a Waste Management truck.
By the way, the conversation went just fine; we were young, hip, listening to 60’s music and doing that 80’s thing; having a pizza party with the only disappointment being the pizza.