Bert’s Bar-B-Q

Bad bar-​b-​q. mediocre service. Overpriced for what you get.
I tried giving them several chances.
I’ll now be going elsewhere when I want bar-​b-​q.
Don’t go here.

I love brisket. And here, I find the brisket very bland. This place has been in business for a million years and isn’t going anywhere no matter what the reviews are and no matter how rude or indifferent the staff are. (Yes, they are).
Once in a while I give it another try (this would be about my fourth) and I am disappointed every time.
It’s edible Texas Bar-​B-​Q but better can be found within just a few minutes’ drive.
I like Rudy’s just fine and it’s just down the road so I will do that next time I get my brisket craving.

Sentimental memories of BBQ are not the same as BBQ.
Bert’s is an entire archive of happy memories of BBQ —
and the Austin that once was — in the 1970’s and 1980’s.
Never mind the fact that you are in a strip mall on Far West Boulevard.
You might just as well be in Texas Memorial Stadium and Earl Campbell is still running the football and punishing tacklers.
There are photos of UT and Austin in the good old days.
There is a Wurlitzer jukebox with Marty Robbins, Tony Bennett and the Bee Gees «Staying Alive».
There is a portrait of the founder when he was a young man.
There is a photo commemorating the tenth anniversary of Bert’s Bar-​B-​Q.
There is a banner commemorating the fortieth anniversary of Bert’s Bar-​B-​Q. It has over a hundred congratulatory signatures.
Next to it is a commemorative declaration from the State of Texas, signed by Rick Perry — who then was governor.
There is a burnt orange banner commemorating the forty-​fifth anniversary of Bert’s Bar-​B-​Q.
There is a photo of the Clock Tower in Orange Lights and Number One on the side.
There are no fewer than eighteen stuffed deer heads or antlers on the walls. The wall also has the original photos of the deer being displayed after being bagged, along with fishers showing off some really huge fish.
Nearly everyone in the restaurant dates from the era of these pictures.
Not counting the help, only one person in the store was younger than forty years old.
*
But time passes, and barbecue in Austin is a lot better today than it used to be forty years ago.
The old classic places are being run by people who are not as good as their parents, grandparents or former employers.
Mueller’s, Southside BBQ and the former Lockhart establishments are shadows of their former selves.
The new pitmaster-​supremes are twenty-​five to forty years old — are working in food trailers on the East Side — and are blowing people away with what they can do to meat.
*
Bert’s sadly has been left in the dust.
There is not a lot of smoke or heft to the brisket. It is just lean meat.
The sausage needed salt desperately but was over-​peppered.
The beans were tasteless, the potato salad supermarket quality.
They do offer whole wheat bread as an option — and that is good for soaking up their sauce.
The BBQ sauce still has the fire and tang.
However, let’s not go too far in sending Bert’s Bar-​B-​Q to premature retirement.
There were about fifteen people in there when I was eating — and they had clearly come to Bert;s because Bert’s is where they wanted to be.
Most were silver hairs who would never think of waiting three hours for a sausage link at Franklin’s but want good BBQ close to their Mesa-​area homes.
*
And Texas BBQ is still Texas BBQ.
There is only one Texas in the USA, and the BBQ here is like BBQ no where else on Earth.
Even just ok Texas BBQ is a privilege to have.
If this place were in Wisconsin, I would be eating at Bert’s a couple of times a week.
(Wisconsin food can be really boring. Texas food rarely is.)
So Bert’s is still maintaining a great Lone Star tradition.
And you look at the walls (or the customers) and you feel tied in to an earlier time when Austin was a magical place, but it was a different kind of magical place.
Eating at Bert’s is like visiting your great-​aunt at the home.
Sometimes she still has flashes of that old sassy fire, and she was certainly a Texas Tornado in her time.

I stopped at Bert’s yesterday.
I bought 3 beef ribs and a half pound of moist brisket!
Fantastic food.
I will never go to Bill Miller on Burnet Rd. again. Food not worth their high prices and they have a pi. poor attitude!
Will go to Bert’s from now on!

I like the texture of the turkey: more like ham. I don’t know what’s up with the sauce, either. It doesn’t seem to adhere to anything. But, I come for the protein, which they sell, and for the nostalgia, which is free.
I walked into the Bert’s off MLK as an idiot 18-​year-​old UT freshman in 1996, and, feeling I had no place in that long line of football fans and regulars, asked «what’s the T-​Man?»
After nearly 20 years, I saw this location in a strip mall, shocked. I couldn’t believe it. I walked in, and there were the animal heads, the faded, hand-​corrected menus. and seemingly the same people behind the counter.
I felt like I’d been asleep for 20 years, or had become unstuck in time. Where I had I been? What had I done with my life? I’ve never had anything hit me like walking back into Bert’s did. I don’t feel any different, but the time is gone, and I’m just as confused and unprepared.
Now an idiot Austin citizen of 37, I was in line, disoriented, asking, «what’s in the T-​Man?»

Well thought I’d try bbq in a strip mall. And I got what I thought. Disappointment. Walked in and one customer in store. Walked up to counter and told the man was my first time. He told me «well there is the menu» so I rolled the dice on a sliced beef sandwich, PO, and sauce. What I got was greasy over fat mess, and the bare on meat, the cutter was weighing the meat and cut off till just right. The kicker was pay, ask for a tea, and the guy checking me out, takes my money, then reaches in the ice chest, were the ice scoop is to get my ice. My gosh! I didn’t even drink it. Place was clean, but warm, ac wasn’t on or not working. It is funny how two women come in while there the manger is all about helping them make choices and talking how great chopped beef is, even though it’s the kind sitting in sauce all day,
Sloppy Joe is what it is, at least change the pan out. Instead of leaving it all day and it’s burning in got the pan. Also manger checked on guy at table, talked about baseball. Never said a word to me if I was ok. More worried bout the ladies and stacking stuff for a catering job in Westlake. Stacking it in the dining area. Poor, Poor, Poor.

First time coming here even though been in Austin 25yrs.
Brisket was quite good. I had moist cut. Very flavorful but could have had a bit more wood smoke flavor.
There was a piece of lean but was dry. Stick with moist and won’t be disappointed. Not fatty at all.
Beef rib: great bargain compared to other places $ 10/​lb vs $ 20+/lb. Meat was tender and had more smokey wood flavor than brisket.
I would say this is better than most of options around.

Disappointing. I had the chopped sandwich special with 2 sides. Coleslaw was okay, potato salad not as good as what you’d get from HEB. Cubed beef on chopped sandwich was very messy. BBQ was bland compared to other BBQ places. There are too many great BBQ places in the Austin area and this one does not make that cut.

This is the perfect bbq place if you can’t decide whether you want boiled brisket or maybe just store-​bought sausage slathered in the orange liquid drained from a can of spaghetti-o’s. Bbq has evolved far beyond this vestigial organ of old-​austin.

No frills here, good prices, average customer service. Go for the T-​man, you will like it. Skip the sides for sure.

Good brisket and sausage. OK beans.
Get the T-​Man, Turbo, or Frito Pie for a real taste of what this place has to offer.

Seriously, I hate this place. It actually was my first Texas BBQ experience. I ordered brisket, pork ribs, and sausage. Food was just meh… The sauce is too liquidy… I went to the Rudy’s and Franklin and I think I had true Texas BBQ… Oh, the price is too high for what you get… Stay away!

great comfortable casual «feel» inside
very good brisket
ok beans
tub-​o-​lard potato salad (why on earth do all these bbq places serve tub-​o-​lard tater salad?)
beef ribs looked very good EXCEPT there was almost no meat on them — so I paid $ 10 for bones
cole slaw was good — at least not gooey like tater salad

Tasted almost everything. And everything was so delicious. Beef ribs, brisket, turkey, chicken were Fabulous. Coleslaw even delicious ! Will be going there for barbeque from now on!

Reminded me of a hole in the wall place back home. I had the t-​man and a rib just to try. Rib was done really well. Served dry the way I like them. I would give them five stars on the ribs. The t-​man is cubed brisket, sausage sliced, beans and sauce served out of a boat when I realized this I had to have it I have been mixing BBQ for years and finally a BBQ joint did the work for me. The cubed brisket was dry and a bit tough for my liking. One must consider the cubing process had some thing to do with it. The beans were perfect. Beans and ribs are how I judge a BBQ joint. This place will be a regular stop for me.

You haven’t had Austin BBQ if you’ve never been to Berts. The Frito Pie will change your life. Fritos, beans, chopped beef and sauce. Sounds simple but it will rock your world! I add sausage to mine for an extra kick.
LOVE THIS PLACE!!!

I went there today for a sandwich to go.
The line moved quickly.
They have bbq so good that you will be slapping the table.
They accept credit cards.
The parking lot was fine at the time I went, which was around 12:30.
I deducted a star/​point because their dry erase board shows that the turkey sandwich was $ 4.50 but in actuality, it is currently $ 4.95. I did not have the heart to tell the guys their prices on their white board did not match their flyers… and people can change their prices anytime, anyway, I just wish they would pay some attention to that, especially for the sake of the newcomers.
Their brisket looked great! The bbq sauce is just right for how they prepare their meats.
I enjoyed my turkey sandwich. I will return sometime.

As others have mentioned, I also received that «outsider interrupting the campfire» feeling when I set foot in Bert’s. It was pretty dead when I arrived but traffic quickly picked up for lunch.
I had the 3 meat sampler.
Ribs — their best meat today. Was tender and well cooked. I didn’t taste much flavor or smoke though.
Brisket — was inconsistent. Some pieces were moist, some cuts were dry. Small smoke ring. No real flavor or smokiness unfortunately.
Turkey — When they pulled this out of the warming drawer I was worried as it appeared to look like a processed piece of turkey. I’m pretty sure I am correct, the turkey was flavorful and moist but it seemed like it was a processed piece of meat similar to a ham.
Beans — nothing to write home about.
Sauce — sweet, ketchup based.
I should have had a beef rib instead of the turkey.
Overall I marked them down for the blandness across all 3 meats and the turkey.

I struck out today to have a fabulous BBQ lunch at Bert’s Bar-​BQ with a fellow fan, Thomas. The stars were aligned, the sun was shining, and I got the front and center parking space. When we entered we picked up the menu to decide on which of the 3 specialties we wanted. Thomas was quickly heckled by Gary, the owner, as he was confused why Thomas would pick up a menu after ordering the same thing for over 20 years.
We explained that we were doing research for manuptexasbbq, to direct people the correct way to order. Bert’s is not a straight BBQ place, the joy lies in the «Specialty» items. 3 Specialty Items on the menu: Frito Pie (small or large), T-​Man (small or large) and Turbo T-​Man (Small frito pie+small T-​Man).
I have always ordered a small frito pie, Thomas has always ordered a large frito pie. This day, I wanted sausage on top, so I thought I wanted a Turbo T-​Man. Gary quickly sized me up and said no, you want the small frito pie with sausage on top (i guess I didn’t need the additional t-​man to get the sausage)…Thank you BBQ Monger.
We quickly ate our meal debating over UT football… Applewhite «Co-​Offensive Coordinator» we think he should take on a signature hat to offset the «Co». My vote-​the LBJ Cowboy Hat.
Thank you Bert’s for delivering the SAME amazing meal for over 20 years. I may get older, but the BBQ taste the same.

I really don’t like giving low scores, but this had to be one of the worst bits of BBQ I have had since moving to Texas. It was bland, bland bland. The sauce tasted like tomato sauce to me, and had no texture of spice to it. Even the Slaw was disappointing and I like all kinds of slaw.
The inside was not the cleanest looking place, very worn down.
I will give them another chance in a year or two, who knows maybe I will be in the mood for food with no flavor.
closed on Sundays fyi