Frank

Gotta say, I’m with these folks. Costs WAY too much for what you’re getting. For $ 8 I want a John Holmes size beer brat. It was barely a Kim Jong Il beer brat, no offense to the Supreme Leader.

I can’t believe that I just paid $ 9 for a hot dog… one single hot dog. No, it didn’t come with chips, a drink or anything else. Just one hot dog. Granted, it was a very good hot dog with great toppings, but not worth more than $ 4 at the most.

Moscow, 8 months ago…
Yuri: Americans, they work very hard, and don’t get raises or vacation like we do here in the Motherland. Their spirits are weak, just like their economy. If their spirits break, so will their production. Everything will collapse. We could finally have the last laugh.
Petrov: Ya ya, but what can we do? We are just old men now
Yuri: It is simple. We shall use their love of food as a weapon.
Petrov: You’re going to kill them with hot dogs?
Yuri: No, no. We tried that once. We ran out of hot dogs. This time, we break their spirits. We shall go near to their capitol, by a place that is lacking in food the proletariat can afford. At the heart of this central business district, we shall place a hot dog cart. It will stand as a shining beacon to the poor, hungry american workers.
Petrov: But I thought we didn’t have enough hot dogs?
Yuri: No, no. We will give them no hot dogs. We just need a few for display. I will charge more money than any working american could possibly afford. The American laborers are used to being unable to eat at the fancy restaurants that surround their offices, that feed their wealthy bosses. They think that they know their place. However were they to find out that their meager salaries prevent them even from eating the cheapest foods of their childhood, they would surely snap.
Petrov: Yuri, my comrade, you are a genius. The pathetic Americans will return to their offices so broken, embittered, and disheartened that they will be unable to work. Productivity will stop. AMERICA WILL LOSE!
Yuri: Yes! What’s left of their economy will crumble and finally the Motherland will regain it’s place above «the great» America.
Petrov: Let’s go buy Ivan’s old cart at once!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alexandria, Today:
Yuri: Hi! Welcome to Franks! would you like a hot dog?
Me: Yes! Thank god! I can finally afford to eat lunch!
Yuri: That is good! They are only $ 8 dollars. For $ 9 you can have gravy, too. Drink and side cost extras.
Me: Uh, yeah. sorry. I need to go step in front of a train now. Apparently my life’s work isn’t as important as I thought it was.
Petrov, Yuri: Mmmmuahhhhaaaa haaa haaa haaa haaa.