Alte Stadtmauer

Before I start, I have to say, this is not a three star restaurant. I’m only giving it three stars because the musicians were so entertaining. The man playing the violin is especially adorable.
I was here with a group so I got to sample a lot of dishes and across the board they were badly prepared and unappetizing.
Escargot– It was unusually heavy for a starter and even though it wasn’t great it was probably one of the better things I had, if not the best. The snails were very tender and slightly chewy though all the flavor was lost in the soupy sauce they were swimming in. It tasted vaguely like butter and maybe garlic or onion but really it just tasted bland.
Shrimp cocktail– Teeny tiny shrimp. They might even have been dried shrimp or rehydrated shrimp given that it was too dark to really see much. It was slathered in this heavy, unpleasant sauce. It was probably flavored mayo but it tasted so old and they threw in some carrots and peas for some reason.
Berlin appetizer plates– It’s a few slices of lunchmeat. Let’s be honest. And a small salted fish. This should not even qualify as an appetizer in a real restaurant.
Prawns– They were definitely a bit overcooked but they were good and at least they were seasoned. They had somewhat of a strong smell, not like they were spoiled but not like they were fresh either. They came with some silky spinach and rice.
Salmon– It was a small cut of salmon bathed in a golden yellow sauce. The sauce was odd and salty and not really identifiable. I like my salmon a bit less cooked but it was fine.
Pot Roast– This was the dish I actually ordered. It was very tender and soft but if this gives you any hint to the consistency, it reminded me of corned beef. It was lacking in flavor without the sauce though with the sauce it was too salty. The mushrooms were fine but the best part was the potatoes. They were salty but for some reason everywhere I went in Germany on this trip, they knew how to cook potatoes. It also came with this sweet red cabbage that was mushy and tasted overwhelmingly like ketchup.
Schnitzel– Very salty.
Mixed Ice Cream– It’s neapolitan ice cream. Probably from the supermarket. They put in tiny chunks of orange and apple which makes it worse.
Red Jelly– I was told this would be blancmange but on their website they more honestly call it red jelly.
Rice Pudding– It’s what you would expect with a lot of cheap cinnamon added which makes it taste like apple jacks.
(Overall, I’d save the calories and skip dessert because everything was bland.)
Kir– I’m not a drinker but this was disgusting. It was very strong and sweet followed by this sharp sourness.
Service was incredibly poor. They were slow to bring everything and all the dishes came to the table at random intervals instead of being delivered at more or less the same time. Heck, they were even slow to bring the bread when we sat down. They were of course also slow to clear all the plates. So, you know, not a fine dining establishment.

Sehr gutes Essen, Service sehr schnell und freundlich. Chef steht selber hinter der Theke. Currywurst probieren! Sehr preisgünstig!