I hate the fact i have to add this business to Unilocal but the world has to know. In a place with as seemingly few options as Swansea you really could end up here. So to begin the horror story that is «Ketchup & Mustard»(really thats your name? Anyway) We entered this small takeaway at just after midnight, so early in the night for most concerned, there were three people ahead of us at the bar. It became apparent if you wanted chips or a kebab you would be served quickly. But pizza and burgers were also offered. The five of us each ordered a different pizza(one of us ordering 12″ instead of 9″). We then sat and waited for 15 minutes. Our first pizza arrived, a margaritta, the base was solid and tasted slightly metallic, there was a scant amount of cheese on top but i suppose your average drunk wouldn’t appreciate this. Anyway as one had come out the oven we thought ordering a taxi for ten minutes time was a reasonable assumption. Especially as the place was now empty but for us. So 15 minutes later our cab has long wandered off and we’re still without pizza’s. A mysterious 9″ peperroni pizza that nobody ordered has surfaced and is now sat cooling on the counter. We go up to ask whats going on and are told they are especially busy tonight, we look around, just us. He offers us money off our pizza. We don’t have any pizzas. another 10 minutes pass and at last two more pizzas arrive. the 12″(now only 9″ in size) and a meat feast. Both suffer the same strange base deficiency though at least the toppings were more ample. So now half an hour into our«fast food» mission three out of the five have eaten. Another 5 or 10 minutes pass and the last pizza arrives. Not what he ordered(but at this stage we don’t care) and forgetting entirely about the last pizza on the list. Again the manager pleas being overworked(we’ve noted perhaps four customers in our time here). And returns the money for the fifth pizza that never came. So after clocking a little over an hour in this place, missing two taxis and having one of our number go hungry i think its safe to say that you really can miss this place out. If this is their level when they’ve time to kill, god help them when there’s genuine custom to be had!