Unique Shop

You know what I like? Unique shops.
You know what I like even more? Shops that audaciously call themselves Unique.
You know what I like less? Shops that audaciously call themselves Unique yet do not substantiate that claim properly.
Also the name sounds wrong, like they didn’t name it so much as label it. It should just be ‘Unique’. It’s not unique anyway, it’s a thrift shop. A simple thrift shop. The only unique thing about it is the microscopic size. You end up practically nose-​to-​nose with the guy behind the counter having awkward conversations about the weather because there’s nowhere to hide. If you try and back behind the one stand-​alone shelf you just end up beside him rather than in front.
I have to give an award though for one of the most pointless products I have ever seen sold in a shop. A mobile phone stand, like the type you see in the Carphone Warehouse or Curry’s Digital. Who the hell is going to buy that? Which rare breed of person would like the capability to display their phone to themselves?
Maybe it’s a special gag product, and if you buy it streamers burst out of the ceiling, a brass band begins playing and a TV crew runs in to film you as you are presented with the £10,000 cash prize. Then they deconstruct the shop and ship it away to the next location overnight, like when they strip down the hideouts in Bourne films.
Maybe I should buy that stand…