Under the Westway

I didn’t think it was possible.
Really, I didn’t.
I didn’t think it was possible to enter a place so happy and then leave spitting venom and ready to punch babies. But alas, it happened and it is all thanks to Under the Westway.
Now let me state for the record that I am not a violent person and really, I would never actually punch a baby. I mean, can you imagine the lawsuits, let alone the bad karma, no no no. But I can say that after spending a painful 38 minutes at this member’s club, I would have preferred running myself into a concrete wall 14 times or jabbing my eyes out with a dirty garden ho instead of finding myself here.
Yes, it was that fun.
For starters, the music. Good God, techno, trance, whatever the hell it was was blasting so loud that I felt like an old lady accidentally dropped in a rave with a glow stick shoved up her… well, you know. Then there were the people, oh the people. Every Cheese, Dick and Harry was here on the make. I saw one guy make out with 4 different girls before I even got my drink.
Then there was her. Oh yes, her. She was the blond drunk girl dancing in front of the mirror. Did she work here? Oh no. She simply enjoyed the look of her reflection dancing provocatively like a Private Dancer in the middle of the aisle completely oblivious to anything around her. If only my purse was big enough, I would have scooped her up and taken her home.
Yeah, this was so not my scene and it was the final nail in the coffin for me ever going to a club again. Seriously, I am done. I’m retired. No thanks.

This place is so weird. Knowing nothing about it, I came here for a birthday party, and when I walked inside I was kind of like «what the???»
Basically it’s like partying in a rather stark office lobby… wait, no, it *is* partying in a stark office lobby… like the management went home and some rebellious workers turned off the lights, threw on some music, then hijacked the coffee bar and stocked it with liquor.
Even with the movie projector going, there weren’t enough bodies and certainly not enough decoration going on to give this place any real atmosphere. The lines for the negligible toilets downstairs were ridiculous… so after getting a hot tip, I headed to the second floor…
At my elementary school in the States, sometimes the teachers would host sleepovers at the school as a special reward for various achievements… and I have to say, walking down that darkened abandoned hallway, I felt like I was back at some juvenile night party at school.
The drinks were standard. The crowd was minimal. Nobody was dancing. This place: I don’t get it.

This is a sort of loungey/​club in The Westbourne Studios complex. It takes up the main foyer area which during the day is a restaurant and hang out space for the people who work there. Essentially, when the club gets going, it feels like the student union has been moved into the much nicer staff rooms for a night. There is a slight sense of dislocation but I think overall it does work out ok.
There is often a movie playing on a big projector screen, a pool table and foosball, loads of ultra comfortable leather sofas, and plenty of tables for more intimate drinks around the sides of the space. There is a DJ and a bit of carpet in front of him/​her to suggest a dance floor space and actually the last time I was there most people really went for it. The music was fairly hits based but there wasn’t any terrible RnB or cheesy for the sake it tunes. All in all this is one of the best clubs in Notting Hill but they do say it’s a members club so either join up or be prepared for the bouncer to give you a bit of a (friendly) grilling if you just turn up. Honestly though, it’s a big space and they don’t hit capacity every night so it should be cool.

Under the Westway is a hidden gem as the manager likes to put it just a stone throw away from Portabello Road. It’s situated in the Westbourne Studios so it’s a hive of activity! The décor is really retro with old mis matched leather sofas and retro lampshades, low lighting, pool tables and table football.
The bar is really vibrant and the restaurant offers a nice mix of food and cocktails.
The music is always really eclectic and there is usually a nice mix of people there at weekends! But there is a guest list sometimes at weekends so I would call before going there as it would be disappointing to be turned away.
Nearest tube is Westbourne Park