The Cromwell Crown Hotel

I was looking for a hotel to keep my family in for a week while we visited London and my daughter who was attending school at Pepperdine University’s London campus. My two boys are 21 and 14, and the photos of this hotel looked appealing because of the loft layout. I figured there would be enough room for the boys up in the loft and lots of room for the wife and I down below in the main room. But buyer beware, the hotel’s website hasn’t been updated since 2011 and a lot of it is just wrong.
When we first arrived to check in, the desk attendant was nice but reserved, in an uncomfortable way. It was a bit unsettling, the feeling of a fake smile and awkward conversation. I was told that we weren’t getting free breakfast though the website had mention of a free breakfast service. I found the fine print on the
receipt and found that was indeed the case so I decided not to fight it. We were given the one and only key card to the room and sent to room 105.
The hotel has an odd feel to it, rooms are not all on the same level, staircases separating sections of the hotel like it was two buildings pasted together. If you get room 105, head straight back downstairs and ask for a different room (wish we had). The room, like the lobby, was incredibly hot, like 80 degrees hot. We turned down the thermostat but it didn’t make a difference. So we went to the window, floor-​to-​ceiling, and opened the curtains. To our surprise, the room faces the inner courtyard, which was the worst thing about the room. Why? Because the dingy courtyard was filled with a huge scaffolding and pigeons (and pigeon crap, and pigeon feathers) everywhere. We wanted to open the windows to dissipate the heat but were worried about security, pigeons entering our room, and breathing in pigeon crap. To make matters worse, the employees would take their smoke breaks in the courtyard and the smoke would waft up to and into our room. Because the hotel was so hot we had to leave the windows open all night every night and suffer. The stale bread left out for the pigeons and the unwashed bird poo on the outside of the window was so unappealing that we kept the curtains closed even though the window was left open.
The bathroom was the best part of our room, the shower was difficult to figure out at first but it was reliable with hot water. The door to the shower was a bit difficult and it finally gave up and broke on me on the last day we were there. But worse than that was the awful sewer smell that wafted up from the floor drain. It was so bad at times that my wife couldn’t enter the bathroom.
Another issue was the promise of free hotel wi-​fi. I had read that the wi-​fi didn’t work in the rooms and was only available in the lobby. The small lobby with one couch, one sofa and one chair would often be crowded with hotel guests trying in vain to connect to the hotel wi-​fi. Let me correct that. Most everyone could connect to the lobby wi-​fi, but being able to load a web page or do anything constructive was impossible. Paint will dry faster than a page load on this connection. With all the awkward smiles from the front desk, you knew their hands were tied and that somewhere a shitty management company was neglecting their duties and hog-​tying their employees.
Smaller issues like faulty light switches, cramped quarters, and carpets that may only be vacuumed between customers, not every day, were forgivable, considering what was worse. However, this hotel, in a nicer area of London, could be so much more with just a little bit of infrastructure improvements from management and a more caring approach from staff.

I don’t normally write negative reviews, but this place should have a warning label. I had read some of the bad reviews & thought: I can handle this. The lobby is misleading, but when we got to our closet of a room up a flight of stairs because it was between floors so the elevator couldn’t access it we were shocked. The bed was hard as a rock, the bathroom reaked of mildew, the plaster above the door was caving in & the air conditioning didn’t work. When we went down to complain they told us that there was no air in any of the rooms due to an unknown issue. We called Priceline, who we had booked it through, & they, in turn, called the hotel. We were told to open a window if we were hot & that there would be no refund since we had checked in & if we left they would charge us for the whole stay as if we had been «no shows». Priceline apologized for the rudeness & told us that unfortunately they couldn’t force the hotel to reimburse us. We emailed Priceline the photos & hopefully they will reimburse us for this stay. DO NOT STAY HERE! They are rude & I wish I had picked the Holiday Inn one block over that my wife suggested & was only $ 10.00 more a night.

I was sharing a room with Helen (previous review) in this ‘hotel’ and it was truly hideous.
I can’t add much to her recount above, but I can add a link to our Youtube videos of the stay! Thankfully we only had one night here. I’m the sarcastic Scottish one behind the camera. You should also view the Breakfast video for the full experience.
The staff barely spoke English, the hospitality was Nill and the service non-​existant.
The one saving grace is that the place is central and has good transport links.
Video link:

OMG this place was a dive! We knew it was cheap, but it was really REALLY basic for the money. The corridors were either lined with old mattresses or carpet samples, the beds were broken, the tiles on the walls were smashed in the bathroom, the toilet seat was cracked
The breakfast was supposedly continental, but consisted of cold toast, cheapo cornflakes, marmalade on a saucer and marj, plus tea and indeteminate flavoured juice! It was odd.
If you are desperate and need somewhere cheap then it’s ok, but otherwise STEER CLEAR!