Queen Fried Chicken & Pizza

Have you ever walked in somewhere and your psyche starts screaming «health inspection!» That was the feeling I got when I walked into Queens Fried Chicken & Pizza. I was desperate for a cheeseburger and this was my only option, so like any good Unilocaler I manned up and immersed myself into the experience. Nobody was manning the counter when I arrived, but in short order a man popped out and informed me my burger would take 6mins.
I stood there playing on my iphone, listening to the multitude of chav children, cursing and screaming outside. I gazed at the chicken in the hot counter, it didn’t look very appetizing. I love fried chicken but I’m not sure I’d even eat it drunk. My burger arrived in about 10mins. It cost £1. My heart plummeted. You can’t exactly expect quality when your burger costs a quid.
I arrived home and tentatively unwrapped that delectable goodness. Three things came to mind in quick succession. it doesn’t look like meat, it doesn’t smell like meat, and it tasted like an old dry cookie with a little meat seasoning. In short, my burger was a nasty, off looking meat cookie.
I can think of nothing that will take me back to this place. My only remaining thought is, «If I wasn’t beef I ate, what the hell was it?»