Mr Bagel’s

Really truly awful, but it is open 24 hours a day and will probably fill the need something at 5am hit.

Verbon is incorrect in saying Mr B’s tries to fill 3 markets and therefore has ‘survived’. I was there from 2am — 4am Sunday and there was a continuous stream of hungry punters, looking for, er, grease and to burn their mouths on cheese and tomato. The point about the niche it fills points to its success. And by the way, the place was open in 1999, when I first landed in the Green. The clue lies in the bagel being the centrepoint and the fillings are only 7 — but they are high quality. Been past Sainsbury’s (or the other ‘Biggies’) for a smear of tuna mayo? Mr Bagels ensures the filling seems thicker than surrounding bread. And I didn’t mind losing a drop through the hole!

Really, places like Mr Bagel’s defy a star rating. On the corner by Wood Green Library, this bagel shop has been open since I moved to the area five years ago. I mean this entirely literally — it’s open 24hrs a day! The staff are definitely of the fast-​food-​industry I-don’t-want-to-be-here-but-need-the-money style, and, despite having a few high tables, it’s not really the sort of place you’d want to hang around.
Somehow it manages to position itself somewhere between bakery, sandwich-​shop and after-​pub-​takeaway, and I suppose it’s this dedication to being in three different markets that has let it survive.
So, firstly, they sell bags of bagels to takeaway, which are er bagel like. Not particularly exciting, but if you want some bagels, then go for it.
Secondly, they sell filled bagels, which are fine for a lunchtime snack, if you’re craving some smoked salmon and cream cheese or whatever, slapped between New York’s favourite chewy ring-​shaped bread.
However, thirdly, they sell Pizza Bagels. Now, I understand that this may be an abomination to any Bagel purists on here. The fusion of pizza and bagel was clearly never meant to happen. After all, wouldn’t the topping fall through the hole? It is a truly unholy alliance. Particularly if it is warmed up in a microwave. As you cram it into your face at 2 in the morning. And burn the roof of your mouth on hot cheese and tomato sauce. And feel the grease saturating the paper bag
And realise that actually, this is the best thing you have ever eaten.
Pizza Bagels are, in my opinion, up there with Kebabs, Burgers and Going-​for-​a-​Curry in terms of pure aprés-​pub delight. This, my friends, is the point of Mr Bagel’s. Ignore the faded sign, smile at the grumpy server and wait for the ping of the microwave; safe in the knowledge that the bliss of salty, chewy, cheesy, fatty nirvana is on its way.
Before you collapse into bed and have horrible, horrible booze & pizza-​bagel-​induced nightmares.