Mortimer Grill

A borderline horrid post-​work bar, packed with people on a Friday night who the word ‘wanker’ was invented for. They must be the advert industry.
The Mortimer occupies a large corner spot opposite the demolition site of the old Middlesex Hospital, and not far from the delights of Charlotte Street. There’s a lot of shiny white tables, bright club lighting and those exceptionally eco-​unfriendly outdoor flame heater pyramid things.
On the positive — it’s a good place for a group lunch on a sunny day if you don’t mind sitting by a busy road and you have more money than culinary adventurism.
You can only get stupid beer that costs over 4 pounds, or a big posh cider for more. They obviously do wine by the glass so that the girls from accounts can get drunk. Not much else to do when the bad music is playing so loud.
One of the most annoying habits of the Mortimer is the reason it can get so packed. Half of the tables are set-​aside for dining only, and the menu is so pointlessly overpriced that no-​one then eats, leaving all the tables free and everyone standing upstairs.
Could be worse though, the private parties downstairs with karaōke filtering up the stairwell sounded like a reason to down a bottle of ibuprofen.

This is a favourite for lunch at Centaur towers. It’s a short walk up from Oxford Street, and has a huge outdoor patio, inside booths, lounge bar and a downstairs bar to boot.
Three lunches here to date. The previous two I had steaks (both sirloin, and *really* tasty). Today, garlic and herb spit-​roasted corn-​fed Banham chicken with hand cut chips/​house salad (noooo dressing, evil cream-​based fiend!). It was fantastic. Tender and juicy, but could have done with a sauce. Which is DOES if you have mash instead of fries — the mustard one is the best as I stole some from my boss’ plate.
Speedy service is hardly Mortimers forte (however, it’s always correct and with a smile), but this isn’t the type of place you go for a quick meal. It’s the kind of restaurant you relax in, have proper conversation and chill out for a bit. I spent a good few hours having a some drinks here a week ago, and with the umbrellas and heat-​lamps, we were prepared for all weather!
Really nice environment and great food. Haven’t tried the downstairs bit, but I’m definitely curious. Cocktails average £8 a glass, Peroni for £3 a bottle (bargain!) and sharing plate for £9 if you want a snack while at the bar.
Plus, I saw Martin Kemp in there today. Not that this makes a difference really…

Bright, smart grill full of beautiful people and decent but pricey burgers etc.
It’s nice enough and has a good sun-​trap outdoor area at the front but feels a little plastic.
I had a bacon cheeseburger — £11. Good chips.

Unimpressive and lacking in any kind of uniqueness.
A king prawn salad was delivered with the prawns looking like they had been griddled to a cinder. The second lot were still overcooked — as tough as rubber.
Service OK, not spectacular.
Many better eating places in the area than here.

I’m not — as is documented all over the web in various guises — a big fan of Black & Blue. Over the years, encouraged by their looks, simple menu and also by hungry friends who didn’t know better, I’ve visited several and found myself underwhelmed by this steakhouse chain.
Recently, however, I had a pretty damn good steak sandwich at the Borough outpost. Then the opportunity arose to dine at their unbranded outpost, Mortimer’s Grill. On the downside, it must be the noisiest restaurant in London (or it just attracts a particularly unpleasant breed of braying idiots). On the plus side? That recent steak sandwich wasn’t a fluke.
Starters of scallops (on black pudding, with pancetta) and grilled prawns were both excellent, particularly the scallops which rivalled the couple of hours old one I sampled during the recent Rye Bay Scallop Festival. These were followed by roast chicken (all nut brown and sticky and moist) and a Flat Iron steak of deeply beefy flavour. Great texture too. Chips were good, the salads were lovely (loads of fresh, crisp walnuts throughout) and the bearnaise was pleasingly heavy on the chervil. If there’s a better generally available steak /​frites variation for £14 in London, I need to know.
Apparently, B&B have recently bought their butchers in order to better control the quality of their meat. It’s working. Shame about the noise then but definitely worth a look all the same.